Chapter 40 — What we’re about to do… isn’t something a brother would do
The moment Nan Xu saw him, her scalp tingled, and a buzzing filled her head.
All she could hear was the wind in her ears. Her tongue felt dry and heavy in her mouth, unable to form a single word.
Even her strength seemed to drain away. Her fingers slackened; the phone slipped from her grasp and hit the floor with a dull thud. It was the handsome guy who bent down to pick it up and hand it back to her.
Nan Xu’s “thank you” came out stiff and awkward, enough to make the guy glance at her in mild surprise.
Seeing that, Xie Hejing let out a short laugh—yet there was no trace of warmth in it. It was like the sound of thin ice cracking underfoot, dragging her straight into the freezing depths below.
A sharp chill surged toward her from every direction.
Nan Xu quickly averted her eyes, desperately trying to pretend she hadn’t felt that piercing cold.
Once the guy finished scanning the code, Nan Xu lowered her head, deliberately avoiding Xie Hejing’s gaze, and forced herself to walk back the same way she came.
She didn’t even know how she managed to make it back to her seat under the weight of his stare—her every step felt stiff, mechanical.
Qi Zhiyu, meanwhile, was over the moon, gushing over the new message from the handsome guy—praising Nan Xu one moment, asking what to reply the next. She was so busy she could barely sit still.
Nan Xu’s mind, however, was blank. Every thought she had spun uncontrollably toward Xie Hejing. She could only reply to Qi Zhiyu on instinct, her fingers moving without focus.
When she finally gathered the courage to glance back in that direction, Xie Hejing was gone.
Even so, Nan Xu didn’t feel the slightest relief. Her heart was a jumble, pounding uneasily as she wondered from where—and when—he might reappear.
Should she go find him first?
But after a moment’s hesitation, she dismissed the idea.
The endless guessing and tangled thoughts left her restless. She clasped her hands together, turned slightly to the side, and lifted her cup, hoping the warm water would steady her nerves.
But when she set it down, something went wrong. She hadn’t noticed the edge of the table, and the bottom of the cup caught it halfway down. The next instant, half the water spilled straight onto her.
At first, the heat spread across her skin—but once the night breeze brushed past, it turned instantly to cold. She shivered.
Qi Zhiyu jumped up, quickly putting down her phone. “Xuxu! Are you okay? Did it burn you?”
Nan Xu shook her head. “It’s fine, the water wasn’t that hot. Just got my dress wet. You keep playing, I’ll go clean up a bit.”
“Want me to come with you?” Qi Zhiyu asked, worried.
“No need.” Nan Xu bent down and whispered close to her ear, “That colleague of yours just left the handsome guy’s side. You might have a chance to talk to him alone now.”
At that, Qi Zhiyu turned to look—and sure enough, the annoying woman was gone. Her eyes lit up at once.
“Okay! Then message me when you’re back. We’ll go to the hot spring later.” She smoothed her hair, already looking excited.
“Got it.”
The gathering was outdoors, while their rooms were in another building. Nan Xu planned to head straight back and change out of her wet dress.
The walk wasn’t far.
Streetlights lined both sides of the mountain villa’s road, so even at night, Nan Xu could see clearly without needing any other light.
But she hadn’t walked far from the party when an arm suddenly dropped onto her shoulder. Instantly, it felt as if an icy wind had swept through her bones.
Nan Xu had a good guess who it was. Sure enough—he hadn’t left.
Two seconds later, Xie Hejing’s voice came from above her head.
“Nan Xu, did you have fun tonight?”
Nan Xu flinched hard, the tiny hairs on her arms standing on end. Her heart felt like it had been seized by an invisible hand, squeezing so tight she could barely breathe.
Her throat refused to work—no words came out, no matter how hard she tried.
“No answer?” Xie Hejing’s tone remained calm.
But Nan Xu knew this calm was the prelude to a storm—heavy, suffocating, and laced with dread.
The hand on her shoulder bent, his thumb and forefinger catching her chin. His palm slid up to her slender neck, lifting her head until she was forced to meet his gaze.
In the darkness, she could still see his eyes clearly—cold and bottomless, like a still pool concealing a serpent beneath the surface, staring straight at her from the depths.
Nan Xu drew in a sharp breath. “B-brother… brother.”
Her voice broke and trembled as she forced the words out.
Xie Hejing gave a low, mocking laugh between his teeth, raising an eyebrow at her choice of address.
“Still calling me ‘brother’? What we’re about to do… isn’t something a brother would do.”
Nan Xu’s lashes quivered, rapid and trembling. Her fingers unconsciously tightened around the hem of her dress, eyes glistening. “You can’t…”
Xie Hejing’s lips curled into a chilling half-smile. He brushed a casual kiss over her eyelid and asked softly, “Can’t what?”
“Would you rather the room—or the car?”
Her voice was barely a whisper, yet it took all her strength to say, “…I’m not going.”
A shadow of malice flickered in Xie Hejing’s eyes before it quickly vanished.
He reached out to smooth a loose strand of her hair. “How many times is this now, Nan Xu? The third? The fourth?”
Nan Xu couldn’t answer. She could only tug weakly at his sleeve, trying to make him loosen his grip—trying, somehow, to show him she didn’t want to go.
But her strength was nothing against his. His hand remained locked around her, holding her still.
Only then did Nan Xu realize—Xie Hejing had never fully revealed the dangerous side of himself. He had been drawing her closer, bit by bit, until she was already too deep.
And now… how far had she fallen?
“Not choosing?” His tone was light, almost casual. “Then we’ll take the car. It’s closer.”
He released her chin, brushed her hair one last time, then gripped her shoulder and guided her toward his car.
The black vehicle loomed ahead—like a beast hidden in the dark, waiting to devour her whole.
Nan Xu’s heart pounded violently in her chest.
“Brother, didn’t we say we were going to talk about something?” she swallowed hard. “We can go to a coffee shop to talk.”
“Mhm, let’s go inside and talk.”
Xie Hejing simply wouldn’t listen to her.
He opened the car door and, without giving her a chance to argue, stuffed Nan Xu into the back seat.
The familiar scent in the car instantly startled Nan Xu. She quickly turned, braced herself against the car door, and feeling that wasn’t enough, also pushed against it with her foot, refusing to let Xie Hejing close the door.
Xie Hejing lowered his gaze, his eyes lingering on the back of Nan Xu’s hand for a moment. He could have just directly pried her fingers open.
But he didn’t. Instead, he used his fingertips to leisurely pick her fingers off one by one, letting Nan Xu’s sliver of hope slowly vanish.
Then, with effortless ease, he guided her legs fully into the car.
When Xie Hejing slid into the car, the interior space immediately became incredibly confined, like a suffocating cage with the air sucked out.
The car lights weren’t on, and a sliver of light filtered in from outside the window, illuminating one side of Xie Hejing’s face while the other was submerged in shadow.
Nan Xu swallowed nervously.
A suffocating silence permeated the car compartment.
After a few seconds of quiet, Xie Hejing patted his leg: “Sit here.”
Nan Xu glared: “Impossible!” she bit out, reminding him, “I’m wearing a skirt.”
Xie Hejing’s eyes narrowed slightly, letting out a short, cold laugh: “I know.”
Seeing that Nan Xu was still uncooperative, Xie Hejing moved closer, placed a hand on Nan Xu’s waist, pulled her into his embrace, and parted her tightly clenched legs.
“Nan Xu, why are you always so disobedient?”
The coldness spread from her legs to her whole body without hindrance. Nan Xu tensed up completely, fear and panic almost overwhelming her, leaving only one thought frantically echoing in her mind: What exactly is he going to do?
Xie Hejing’s voice, however, was very gentle; there was barely a trace of anger.
“Tell me,” he lifted his chin, “who are you sexually attracted to?”
Nan Xu avoided his gaze, trying hard to brace her legs to create a bit of distance between them.
But her small action didn’t escape Xie Hejing’s sight. He lifted his hand, hooked it around her lower back, and abruptly pressed her back against him.
They were suddenly pressed tightly together.
Nan Xu’s eyes widened.
Xie Hejing’s face, however, was calm: “Did you take a liking to that guy just now?”
“Added him on WeChat, what’s next? Will you kiss him too? Will you also sit on him like this?”
Xie Hejing lifted his leg slightly, causing Nan Xu’s upper body to lean even further towards him.
He grabbed Nan Xu’s chin again, forcing her closer until she could almost see her own helpless reflection in his eyes.
Through gritted teeth, he demanded, “Do you feel desire for him?”
Nan Xu drew in a sharp breath. She already knew she wouldn’t escape tonight. A reckless thought flashed through her mind—fine, if it’s going to be ugly, then let it be.
“It’s none of your business,” she shot back, locking eyes with Xie Hejing. “Who I want—it has nothing to do with you!”
In an instant, veins stood out on the back of his hands and along his neck, as if a wild beast inside him was seconds away from breaking free.
But Xie Hejing only gave a cold snort. “Is that so?” His tone was icy calm.
Nan Xu’s fists tightened. She didn’t care anymore. “Yeah. I could want anyone—but never you.”
Xie Hejing’s gaze sharpened. He loosened his tie, grabbed both her hands, forced them behind her back, and slowly wrapped the tie around them.
His voice was frighteningly cold. “That so?”
The restraint only made Nan Xu angrier. “Yes! I’m going to confirm it with someone else. Maybe a stranger, maybe someone I used to know—but it’ll never be you!”
His whole body trembled as he pulled the knot tight, then suddenly hauled her into his arms. His burning gaze locked on hers. “Nan Xu,” he warned, voice low and trembling with fury, “you’d better stop talking.”
Seeing the rage in his eyes, a strange thrill shot through her.
So he could lose control. He was angry. Good—he deserved it, after scaring her like that.
“I’ll say it again,” she shouted, louder this time. “Xie Hejing, I will never, ever feel any desire for you. Never!”
“Nan Xu, shut up,” he ground out between his teeth.
But she wouldn’t. “I won’t, because it’s the truth! That will never change!”
Xie Hejing’s hand clamped around the back of her neck. “Nan Xu!”
His gaze burned into her throat; a dark impulse flared within him—he wanted to squeeze, to silence her, to make her promise to stay by his side forever.
His hand brushed her neck, but he couldn’t bring himself to use force.
His chest rose and fell violently. He was furious—at her, at himself.
Feeling his hand trembling against her skin, Nan Xu shuddered and yelled with all her strength, “Xie Hejing, I hate you!”
The words hit him like a blow to the heart.
His expression darkened. In a burst of rage, he seized her lips and kissed her hard.
He pried her mouth open, biting, devouring, every movement charged with anger and desperation.
One of his hands clamped tightly around Nan Xu’s waist, pressing her hard against his chest—so hard it felt like he was trying to crush her into himself.
Her lips hurt. Her waist hurt. She tried to kick, but their bodies were pressed so tightly together that she couldn’t muster any strength.
“Mmph—!” Her muffled protests were lost between them. Their teeth tangled; Xie Hejing grew more and more out of control, and Nan Xu felt her breath slipping away—she was suffocating under the force of his kiss.
Driven by instinct, she bit down on his lip—hard. She tasted blood, sharp and metallic, and realized she’d drawn it from both of them.
Finally, he let go.
Nan Xu saw the blood on his lips and turned her face away, struggling to get off him. But his grip was unyielding—no matter how she kicked or twisted, she couldn’t break free.
Suddenly, she gasped sharply, her whole body jerking in pain, her face tightening in discomfort.
Xie Hejing forced himself to calm down. “What is it?” he asked.
“None of your business,” she snapped.
His brow furrowed. “You sure you want to keep talking to me like that?”
The memory of that suffocating kiss flashed in her mind again, and fear flickered through her.
“My leg hurts,” Nan Xu muttered, sniffling slightly, her voice tinged with frustration and embarrassment.
“Where?” he asked.
“My leg,” she repeated.
“Which part?”
She fell silent, refusing to answer.
He shifted his leg in irritation, and she immediately gasped again, trembling.
Xie Hejing looked down. Nan Xu tried to block his view, but her hands were still bound behind her with his tie—she couldn’t move.
Her voice broke with a cry: “Don’t look! Let me go!”
“Easy,” he said, his tone softening. “Let me see where you’re hurt.”
“No,” she protested, her voice trembling. “I’m wearing a skirt.”
His eyes flickered. “I can tell.”
“You—” Nan Xu’s cheeks flushed bright red.
She was terrified he’d actually look. “My leg… the inside of my thigh… your belt scraped it.”
At her words, his breathing deepened, heavy and uneven.
“I need to check if it’s bleeding,” he said hoarsely.
“I’ll check myself!” she shouted quickly.
She pressed her legs tightly against Xie Hejing’s, absolutely preventing him from seeing.
Xie Hejing’s breathing grew heavier. “Nan Xu, if you keep this up, and I lose control later… don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“What did I do…”
Nan Xu’s voice trailed off as she realized what Xie Hejing was referring to. She immediately stopped moving, stiffened, and didn’t dare to budge.
An uncontrolled kiss from Xie Hejing was already like that; she didn’t dare to imagine anything more. If he went further, she…
Nan Xu closed her eyes, shaking her head with lingering fear, and managed to squeeze out three words: “I won’t move.”
Xie Hejing laid her flat on the back seat. He didn’t turn on the light but quietly looked at the spot. There was no bleeding, just a few slight red marks from friction.
Feeling Xie Hejing’s breath evenly tracing the sensitive area, Nan Xu’s face was practically crimson.
“Are you done? You…”
The next second, Nan Xu couldn’t speak anymore. The warm breath had turned into a sticky touch, wetness mixing with light nibbling.
Fine beads of sweat broke out on her forehead, her heart and legs were trembling.
Nan Xu instinctively tried to press her legs together, but on her inner thigh, she felt his slightly tickling hair.
Xie Hejing chuckled softly, his breath fanning out: “Nan Xu, how will you know you don’t desire me if you don’t try?”
She dared not provoke Xie Hejing now, only saying: “No need to try, no need.”
“Then how about going higher?” Xie Hejing asked. “Try kissing there? Maybe you’ll feel something?”
Higher than that…
Wouldn’t that be…
Nan Xu’s voice was sharp for the first time: “No!”
She was incredibly anxious, truly afraid Xie Hejing wouldn’t listen to her. She wanted to strain to look at Xie Hejing, but a pile of clothing blocked her view.
She could, however, feel his breathing, which was hot and fast.
She truly grasped just how crazed Xie Hejing was tonight.
Based on that sharp cry, Xie Hejing knew the girl had reached her limit, and pushing further would be too much.
He sighed almost imperceptibly, a hint of regret in the sound.
Reluctantly, he stood up, pursed his lips, and picked her up, saying in a low voice: “Nan Xu, you haven’t even tried, how do you know you don’t desire me?”
“You’ve only ever kissed me. Can you really judge that you don’t desire me based on just that?” Xie Hejing stared at her and asked.
Nan Xu bit her lower lip: “But you just now, that wasn’t, wasn’t…”
She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Xie Hejing heard this and smiled: “Then what about other places? Nan Xu, don’t you want to try my other parts? Maybe then you’d feel something?”
Seeing her head drop lower and her ear tips turn completely red, Xie Hejing seemed to realize something and asked: “Perhaps you already have feelings, but you’re just afraid for me to notice.”
The words had barely fallen when Nan Xu suddenly lifted her head: “No! Absolutely not!”
“Oh, is that so?” Xie Hejing raised an eyebrow. “I was just talking.”
The car became silent enough to hear a pin drop once more.
Xie Hejing recalled all the things Nan Xu had said earlier, a muscle in his brow twitching. “Nan Xu, your impulsiveness can really make people angry.”
He pried her hand loose, pressed her palm to his chest, and asked, “Can you feel my heartbeat?”
Nan Xu nodded.
He continued, “Do you know when it beats the fastest?”
She shook her head.
“Want to know?” Xie Hejing asked.
Nan Xu didn’t reply—something told her that whatever came next would be too much for her to handle.
But Xie Hejing wanted her to ask. He shifted slightly, his fingers brushing over the spot where a faint red mark remained, making Nan Xu’s breath hitch as she listened intently to his next words.
Xie Hejing repeated softly, “Do you know when my breathing sounds the best—or where my heartbeat is the fastest?”
Nan Xu swallowed, her voice barely above a whisper as she asked on cue, “Where?”
Xie Hejing toyed with her hand, his fingertips gliding lightly over the mark on her skin. His voice was low and languid as always.
“—In bed.”