Chapter 38 — Nan Xu, you really know how to tease me!
On the first morning back in Zhi’an, there were only three people at the dining table at home.
Although Zhang Huaiwan and Xie Hengzhi had been married for years, they were still annoyingly affectionate with each other—feeding one another, chatting, laughing.
Xie Hejing sat alone on the side, silent: “…”
Nan Xu hadn’t appeared all morning. Xie Hejing looked around and still didn’t see her. He frowned. “Mom, where’s Nan Xu?”
Zhang Huaiwan swallowed the porridge in her mouth. “Isn’t Jiaojiao at a friend’s place? Did she ask for leave from you? Didn’t you know?”
“No,” Xie Hejing said.
Nan Xu had only mentioned she needed leave; she hadn’t explained anything else.
“It was just last night. You went out, right? Jiaojiao told me she’d be staying at a friend’s for a few days. She left first thing this morning with her suitcase—don’t know why she was in such a hurry, she didn’t even eat breakfast,” Zhang Huaiwan said.
She sighed. “I just hope she’ll be comfortable staying at her friend’s place.”
Xie Hengzhi put some more food in her bowl and said, “Jiaojiao has finally come back, so of course she should see her friends more often to catch up and reconnect. Why are you worrying so much about it?”
Zhang Huaiwan shot him a glare. “You don’t get it. They just came back from Linbin, and now Jiaojiao is leaving again, alone. Is it wrong for me to worry?”
“You just said it yourself—she’s staying at a friend’s. She’s not exactly alone.”
“Xie Hengzhi!” Zhang Huaiwan put down her chopsticks and put her hands on her hips.
“…”
This was their usual morning entertainment: bickering. Usually, Zhang Huaiwan would initiate, Xie Hengzhi would respond, then throw it back, back and forth, but without much real tension.
Xie Hejing wasn’t paying attention; his focus was on what Xie Hengzhi had just said.
Nan Xu… catching up with friends.
So that was the real reason she had taken leave.
Xie Hejing pushed back his chair and got up, deciding not to eat. He went back to his room and sent Nan Xu a message:
[You better tell me you’re not avoiding me.]
Otherwise, why would she leave in such a rush, perfectly avoiding his presence?
At that moment, Nan Xu was at Qi Zhiyu’s house. Two little dogs were nudging her legs, making her laugh as she petted them.
She sat on the sofa with the breakfast she had bought on the way, snacks that Qi Zhiyu had prepared beside her, and a variety show playing on the TV.
It’s a relaxed and carefree everyday life.
She ate while waiting for Qi Zhiyu to finish his makeup. Later, they would head to a shop they had planned to visit together, and her mood was entirely at ease.
Nan Xu thought about whether to make a reservation first and picked up her phone—just in time to see an unread message.
Seeing that it was from Xie Hejing, and reading the content, her heart tightened instantly.
How did he always manage to guess her thoughts so accurately?
Nan Xu had indeed planned to avoid him for a few days.
She felt she needed some quiet. Being around Xie Hejing, she couldn’t help but recall every encounter with him.
His words always tugged gently at her heartstrings, gradually guiding her down paths she didn’t even realize she was walking.
Just like that kiss in the car…
Even now, when Nan Xu thinks back on it, her face still grows warm. She can’t quite understand how she’d lost her mind like that and actually gone through with it.
Whenever she faces Xie Hejing again, there’s still a trace of awkwardness.
But when she saw his message, Nan Xu didn’t admit to anything. She took a bite of the green rice ball in her hand and started typing quickly on her phone.
[No, remember I told you I was taking a few days off? You agreed to it.]
Xie Hejing raised an eyebrow and replied:
[Did you ever say you were staying somewhere else?]
Nan Xu pursed her lips and put down the rice ball completely.
[I might’ve forgotten to mention that part.]
Xie Hejing laughed.
[Forgot? Impressive. Whose place are you staying at?]
[Qi Zhiyu’s. You’ve met before.]
[And how long are you staying?]
Nan Xu hesitated for a moment before replying:
[Probably until the end of the holiday.]
Seeing that, Xie Hejing’s expression darkened.
[Nan Xu, you’d better make some time for us to meet.]
The moment she read that, her mind immediately flashed back to the kiss in the car.
[Didn’t you say you didn’t want me to take responsibility?]
He narrowed his eyes.
[Right. Last time, I didn’t. But what about everything else, Nan Xu? We need to talk about… what we are.]
A wave of unease rose in her chest. She typed back vaguely:
[I know. But can we talk about it when I’m back?]
Xie Hejing: “…”
Nan Xu turned off her phone, staring blankly at the variety show playing on TV—
but her thoughts were completely tangled up in the messages.
He wanted to talk about their relationship. That one step forward made her heart restless and unsteady.
She didn’t even hear Qi Zhiyu calling her after finishing her makeup, not until the puppy jumped onto her lap and Qi Zhiyu raised her voice:
“Xuxu! Xuxu! Nan Xu, what’s with you? You spaced out?”
Nan Xu finally snapped out of it, shook her head, and brushed off her worries.
She smiled. “No, no, I’m fine. Oh—you’re already done with your makeup? Wait for me, I’ll just finish this rice ball and we can go.”
The two had planned their trip in detail, everything matched perfectly with their interests. Nan Xu pushed all her troubles aside and followed Qi Zhiyu from one attraction to another.
As for what Xie Hejing wanted to talk about—she’d think about it later. For now, she just wanted to enjoy herself.
During the day, they went sightseeing; at night, they curled up under the covers to chat or watch dramas.
On the third night, after washing up, they lay in bed watching a movie together.
It didn’t have great reviews, but Nan Xu was completely absorbed, her eyes fixed on the screen without moving once.
The movie’s plot wasn’t complicated—it revolved around a blended family. The mother brought her daughter, the father brought his son, and together the four of them became one family.
The step-siblings in this family were also the movie’s main characters.
They grew up together, and in the beginning, the film painted a warm and healing picture of family life—traveling, eating, playing games together.
Until one night at a party, both the male and female leads got drunk and started goofing around like when they were kids.
The girl chased the boy down again, jumped on top of him, and raised her hand in victory—declaring, just like when they were young, that she had won the game.
But when she looked down, her brother’s gaze was no longer the same.
The camera zoomed in on his eyes—dark and deep like a hidden pool, locking onto the girl with something dangerous, possessive.
And in that moment, everything shifted.
Watching that scene, Nan Xu froze. Her body reacted on instinct—she turned her eyes away. That look in his eyes… it felt strangely familiar.
Her sudden movement confused Qi Zhiyu a little, but she didn’t think too much of it. She laughed and teased, “Don’t tell me you’re swooning over the brother already!”
Qi Zhiyu always chose movies based on how good-looking the cast was, so the ones she recommended to Nan Xu naturally had top-tier visuals.
Nan Xu gave a sheepish laugh. “…Ah, yeah, maybe.”
That got Qi Zhiyu going—she eagerly started listing all the other dramas the actor had starred in, and the awards he’d won.
Nan Xu listened half-heartedly, nodding along when Qi Zhiyu finished before turning back to the movie.
Since Qi Zhiyu had already seen it, she wasn’t paying full attention—she kept applying body lotion, brushing her hair, and still had time to answer Nan Xu’s occasional questions about the plot.
Until Nan Xu suddenly asked, “Yuyu, do you think the heroine… actually likes the guy?”
Qi Zhiyu didn’t even look up, still squeezing lotion into her palm. “Of course she does!”
Nan Xu pressed her lips together.
But in the ending, the two of them part ways, never to see each other again.
Even at their parents’ funeral, they only exchanged a fleeting glance.
“Then how did it come to this?” Nan Xu asked quietly. “Did the heroine really love him?”
Qi Zhiyu finally looked serious. She loved discussing films—especially ones starring her favorite actor.
“Of course she did. But there are all kinds of love,” Qi Zhiyu explained. “In this story, whether or not they’re related by blood, what the heroine feels for him is pure family affection.”
“So no matter how much the guy loves her, it doesn’t change anything. She just can’t accept his kind of love. The more he likes her, the more it pushes her away.”
Qi Zhiyu sighed. “Ah, my poor Lao Qi, always taking these tragic roles. So handsome, and yet the girl doesn’t even fall for that face.”
Nan Xu stared at the screen—the movie’s final frame frozen before her eyes.
The heroine returned to the house where she and the hero had grown up together.
Under the tree where he had once confessed his love to her, she carved two simple characters—
“Brother.”
Nan Xu asked quietly, “How can you tell whether what she feels for him is familial love or romantic love?”
Qi Zhiyu grinned. “That’s easy. Remember that scene in the movie when the heroine accidentally took an aphrodisiac? When the effects kicked in, who did she picture in her mind?”
Qi Zhiyu dragged the progress bar back to the scene they were talking about.
On-screen, flashes of faces appeared—the heroine’s classmates, coworkers, even a stranger she’d just met earlier.
Nan Xu frowned. “I saw it. So what about it?”
Qi Zhiyu sighed dramatically. “Oh, my silly Nan Xu, you really have to pay more attention next time—or you’ll get fooled in love.” She reached out and ruffled Nan Xu’s hair. “Look again. Who’s missing from that lineup?”
Nan Xu replayed the scene, and then it hit her. “The brother. Her brother isn’t there.”
Qi Zhiyu snapped her fingers. “Exactly! Even in that moment, when her body’s burning and he’s just outside the door, the heroine’s mind flashes through every man she’s ever met—except him.”
““For people like them, who share such deep emotional bonds, it’s hard to tell the difference. But that scene says it all.”
“There’s one thing the heroine’s feelings for the hero are missing.” Qi Zhiyu paused deliberately.
Nan Xu leaned forward, impatient. “What?”
Qi Zhiyu gave a cheeky grin. “Desire.”
“She feels possessive, dependent, maybe even protective of him—but not that. Not sexual desire.”
“The drug triggered her most primal instincts; her whole body was on fire, she thought she might die if she didn’t act on it. But even then, not once did she think of him. She even avoided him. That means she doesn’t feel that kind of attraction toward him.”
“Later, when she starts dating her boyfriend, she has a perfectly normal relationship, physically and emotionally. So yeah, what she feels for her brother is purely familial.”
Qi Zhiyu looked quite pleased with her own analysis, even pulling up a few online reviews that echoed her interpretation.
Finally, she summed it up neatly:
“Desire doesn’t equal love—but it sure helps you tell them apart.”
That one line lingered in Nan Xu’s mind all night.
Whether it was the unfamiliar bed or her restless thoughts, she couldn’t fall asleep until nearly two in the morning.
Listening to Qi Zhiyu’s steady breathing beside her, she worried about waking her with all her tossing and turning.
So she got up quietly, slipped on a jacket, grabbed her phone, and tiptoed out onto the balcony.
The cool night breeze brushed past her, and Nan Xu stood there a little dazed, unsure what to do with herself.
On a strange impulse, she opened her chat with Xie Hejing. Their last conversation was from three days ago.
Frowning slightly, she switched to the call screen and pressed his number.
But the moment the first ring sounded, Nan Xu suddenly realized—it was already two in the morning. Startled, she quickly hung up.
Letting out a sigh, she stood there, completely at a loss, about to turn back inside when her phone suddenly rang.
Panicking that she might wake Qi Zhiyu, Nan Xu hurriedly declined the call and turned off her ringtone.
She leaned over the balcony and peeked into the room. Qi Zhiyu was still fast asleep, not a single movement in sight. Only then did Nan Xu quietly breathe out in relief.
When she looked at her phone again, Xie Hejing had already called her over ten times. Messages popped up one after another.
[Nan Xu, what’s your deal? You call and then hang up?]
[Nan Xu, are you messing with me? Answer the phone.]
[Nan Xu, pick up.]
…
[Not replying either? Do you want me to come find you right now?]
Just as she read that last one, his name appeared on the screen again. Nan Xu quickly answered.
The first thing she heard was his gritted voice: “Nan Xu, you really know how to tease me!”
Biting her lip, she said softly, “Brother, it’s so late… you couldn’t sleep again?”
“And you?” Xie Hejing’s tone was drawn out, lazy. “Having fun?” After a pause, he added with a faint chuckle, “Guess not, since you’re still awake at this hour.”
Nan Xu replied mildly, “I had a good time.”
Xie Hejing went silent for a beat. “…So you called just to tell me how much fun you had?”
Hearing the edge in his voice, Nan Xu hurried to say, “If I disturbed you, I’ll hang up.”
Xie Hejing gave a short, cold laugh. “Now you realize you’re disturbing me?”
Nan Xu said nothing.
He glanced at his phone and muttered stiffly, “…It’s not really a bother.”
Still, there was only silence from her side.
“I said it’s not a bother, did you hear me?” he repeated.
Two seconds later, he frowned, voice low and threatening: “Nan Xu, don’t you dare hang up. If you do, we’re not done.”
Nan Xu remained utterly quiet.
Through clenched teeth, Xie Hejing growled, “Nan Xu, you—”
At last, Nan Xu’s voice came through. “Brother, Yuyu came to talk to me just now, so I put my phone on silent. What did you say? I didn’t hear.”
Xie Hejing was silent for a moment.
He took a slow breath. “Nothing.”
“Oh.” Nan Xu responded quietly.
The night breeze swept past again, cool against her skin. Nan Xu recalled what Qi Zhiyu had told her earlier—
Desire is different from affection.
Lowering her gaze, she hesitated for a few seconds before speaking. “Brother, I think… I need to confirm something.”
Hearing that she didn’t plan on hanging up, Xie Hejing’s tone turned languid. “What is it?”
Without overthinking it, in the stillness of two in the morning, Nan Xu said just two words—
“Desire…”