Chapter 20: He Knows
So that person was Qi Xu after all.
Su Huai recalled that Qi Xu seemed to have been playing under a pseudonym recently, and his main account had dropped out of the leaderboard.
Before this, Qi Xu had always dominated in their circle of friends.
Su Huai had heard about Qi Xu using an alias, but he had never clicked into Qi Xu’s gaming profile to check.
What surprised him was that Qi Xu, of all people, would engage in an online relationship.
He was perfectly fine in real-life relationships, so why resort to online dating?
And not only that, he was engaging in a homosexual relationship!
How come Su Huai had never heard that Qi Xu was gay!
Seeing Xie Yang cry so sadly, Su Huai couldn’t quite understand. “Isn’t this good? You’ve liked him for so long, didn’t have a chance in real life, and now you’ve got a chance online. You’re talking to each other, and he likes you too. Isn’t it a happy ending?”
Xie Yang shook his head. “He doesn’t like me.”
He didn’t want to let Qi Xu find out eventually that his online lover was himself, and feel disappointed.
If they never met, if they never knew each other.
Or perhaps there might still be a chance.
But he knew very well that Qi Xu wasn’t gay.
He had said he didn’t like men.
And he had even heard Qi Xu say he didn’t like him.
It was hard to imagine how disgusted Qi Xu would feel if he found out that his long-time crush online was himself.
He could continue using his online identity, [Caramel Pudding] to interact with Qi Xu in a way that he liked.
Or perhaps change Qi Xu’s perception of him.
Even though that was the person he had liked for a long time, he couldn’t bear to deceive Qi Xu’s feelings online.
He knew that Qi Xu liked him very much, but he liked “Little Assistant” and [Caramel Pudding] not Xie Yang.
So he couldn’t selfishly continue the online relationship with Qi Xu.
Su Huai sighed. “So, did you break up with him?”
Xie Yang nodded. “Yeah, I also deleted him as a friend, and I won’t go online anymore.”
So Qi Xu should understand his determination.
He didn’t mean to hurt Qi Xu’s feelings, they just weren’t meant to be.
Su Huai bit his lip, looking at Xie Yang hesitantly, and finally said, “Why do you think deleting him as a friend means he won’t find you?”
Xie Yang’s head buzzed, freezing in place.
His mind went blank, the waves of sadness receded, leaving only panic.
How could he think that breaking up unilaterally meant they had broken up?
How could he assume that deleting Qi Xu as a friend would make it as if nothing had happened?
Even if he erased all traces of these two months online, what about Qi Xu?
How could Qi Xu just easily forget everything?
And if Qi Xu wanted to find him, wanted to dig up his real-life information, wouldn’t it be difficult?
Even though they had been chatting for more than two months, he had never revealed his real-life information, but couldn’t Qi Xu guess?
And the bouquet he sent.
Just a little check on the sender’s information would reveal his identity, right?
Xie Yang was in turmoil.
He sent messages in the morning, and now it was already noon.
Was Qi Xu already investigating his information?
Xie Yang’s visibly pale complexion turned instantly pale, his bewildered appearance making Su Huai feel a little distressed. “Actually, I think you don’t need to be too pessimistic. Qi Xu, with his personality, if he likes you, he will definitely come find you. If he finds out you used to like him, he will be happy. If he doesn’t like you, he won’t bother you again. He’ll act like nothing happened.”
Su Huai wasn’t just saying comforting words to Xie Yang.
He had known Qi Xu since he was a child and understood his personality to some extent.
Dominant, paranoid, possessive, cold, heartless, and sharp-tongued.
He had taken all the good and bad.
If Qi Xu could devote this much effort to online romance and even be moved by someone he had never met online, it meant that Qi Xu didn’t actually care about the appearance of his online lover. He wasn’t superficial and valued the person’s qualities and character.
Su Huai couldn’t help but glance at Xie Yang.
Unexpectedly, Qi Xu liked someone like Xie Yang.
But it wasn’t surprising at all.
It was just unfortunate that the two of them were at odds in real life.
If Qi Xu really liked Xie Yang, he wouldn’t have let him go.
Even if Xie Yang erased all traces online, as long as Qi Xu found any clues, Xie Yang couldn’t escape Qi Xu’s reach.
It all depended on whether Qi Xu wanted to.
Actually, he was curious about what Qi Xu was thinking.
After he found out that his online lover was actually Xie Yang, what was his feeling like?
They spent three years in the same high school. Even if Xie Yang didn’t stand out much, Qi Xu couldn’t possibly have not seen him.
Xie Yang wasn’t bad-looking; it’s just that he used to have long hair and gave a delicate impression, which might have led people to misunderstand his appearance.
Since his last breakup, Xie Yang had cut his hair short and ditched the thick glasses. Now he looked neat and obedient.
If Qi Xu liked Xie Yang’s online persona, he should also like Xie Yang’s real-life appearance.
If Qi Xu knew that Xie Yang had secretly liked him for two and a half years, he wondered what Qi Xu would think.
Perhaps, this crush might even turn into something real.
He was quite curious how the school’s flower, the popular guy, fell in love and fell from grace.
Xie Yang only stayed in the hospital for one night and returned to school the next day.
After being on IV all night, there was a small bruise on the back of his hand.
He asked for a few days off from his teachers.
When alone in the dormitory, he would always be lost in thought.
Had Qi Xu received his flowers?
Had he seen the letter he tucked inside the box?
How was he feeling right now?
Was he more sad or angry?
He missed CX330.
Not Qi Xu, but CX330.
This heartbreak was even harder than the last one.
In just a few days, coupled with being sick, he had lost even more weight.
To quote Su Huai, he was as thin as paper, ready to be blown over by the wind.
Seeing Xie Yang’s distraught appearance, Su Huai couldn’t help but ask Xi Rui and Song Xingyu one night in the dormitory when the lights were turned off, “Why haven’t I heard you guys mention Old Qi recently? I haven’t seen him even when I occasionally pass by the School of Management. Is he missing?”
When Xie Yang heard Qi Xu’s name, his heart tightened, and he focused intently, listening.
Xi Rui chuckled, “Hey, I know about this. I heard from Sheng Fei that Old Qi got dumped. Although I think it’s nonsense, after all, that’s Qi Xu. How could he possibly get dumped? He’s not even capable of dating.”
Song Xingyu also smiled and said, “I heard he was the one who got dumped, which is even more ridiculous. Could anyone really lay a hand on Old Qi’s face?”
Su Huai glanced in Xie Yang’s direction. “When did Qi Xu start dating? Do you guys know about this?”
Song Xingyu replied, “Nope, that’s why I don’t believe Sheng Fei’s words.”
Xi Rui added, “Unless Old Qi is into online dating, otherwise how could he not see his wife for two months? According to what Sheng Fei said, they’ve been dating for a while, right?”
Su Huai pondered, “Maybe it’s really possible?”
Xi Rui shook his head. “How could Old Qi possibly do online dating? He’s always looked down on these messy things.”
Su Huai choked up a bit.
How could it be considered messy?
Xi Rui asked, “Hey, do you need something from him?”
Su Huai replied, “No, I was just asking.”
Xi Rui continued, “Anyway, I heard he took a few days off, but I don’t know the reason.”
Song Xingyu chuckled, “Sheng Fei also said he took a leave because he was heartbroken after being dumped.”
Su Huai felt uneasy and quipped, “Qi Xu doesn’t seem like that kind of person.”
Xi Rui agreed, “That’s why I say Sheng Fei is just talking nonsense.”
Su Huai sighed softly. Perhaps Sheng Fei wasn’t talking nonsense after all.
As for being excessively heartbroken, that was definitely impossible, but being dumped after a breakup was true.
Most likely, he had taken leave to organize the information he had on hand, intending to track down Xie Yang.
Qi Xu might already know that his online lover was Xie Yang.
Xie Yang remained silent.
Was Qi Xu really feeling so sad?
He had actually hurt someone he liked.
That wasn’t his intention.
He never wanted to hurt Qi Xu, never wanted to make him sad.
He just… just wanted Qi Xu to forget about him.
Unable to hold back, Xie Yang hid under the covers and silently cried.
I’m sorry.
Truly sorry.
…
The spacious apartment was illuminated only by a dim light.
Empty beer cans were strewn across the living room table, and the air was thick with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes.
It was acrid and unpleasant.
Qi Xu flipped through his chat history with Little Assistant.
How did things suddenly end like this?
A beautiful bouquet of roses sat on the sofa, accompanied by a handwritten letter.
Qi Xu looked at the contents of the letter and chuckled softly.
“Little Assistant, couldn’t you have at least lied to me?”
Qi Xu gently traced the tear stains on the letter with his fingertip, murmuring softly, “Clearly you liked me so much, yet you said you wanted to break up.”
Break up?
He didn’t agree.
Because his friend had been deleted, he could no longer see Little Assistant’s circle of friends.
But the previous chat records were still there, and Qi Xu sifted through them one by one, searching for any information related to Little Assistant.
From the trivial details Little Assistant shared daily to his strange behavior a few days ago, Qi Xu was certain that Little Assistant recognized him.
If it weren’t for knowing him, there was no way Little Assistant would casually suggest breaking up.
He had already found out the identity information left on the express delivery.
But the person who sent the package didn’t match the information Qi Xu knew about Little Assistant.
Su Huai.
He knew him.
How could the person who had been flaunting their affection in his circle of friends for several months possibly be the one he was dating online?
Qi Xu opened his WeChat and went straight to the point: Who was the person you sent to deliver the package to me?
Su Huai was planning to stay up late watching something adults should watch when he was startled by Qi Xu’s message.
Su Huai: [I’ve never sent you a package.]
Qi Xu: [?]
Su Huai: [Alright, I was indeed asked by someone else, but without his permission, I can’t say.]
Qi Xu: [Is it Xie Yang?]
Su Huai: […]
You’ve already guessed it, what more do you want me to say?
Qi Xu already knew the answer.
He just wanted to confirm.
Seeing Su Huai hadn’t replied further, Su Huai couldn’t help but ask: [Are you planning to settle scores with Xie Yang? Actually, he didn’t know you were his online lover. Besides, he didn’t lie to you emotionally.]
Qi Xu: [Why do you think I’m looking to settle scores with him?]
Su Huai: [Don’t you dislike him? Why else would you be looking for him?]
Su Huai: [Besides, he’s still not fully recovered from his illness. He can’t handle the stress.]
The information in Qi Xu’s investigation showed that Su Huai and Xie Yang had a very good relationship. They weren’t just roommates; Xie Yang considered Su Huai a friend.
So, in a way, Su Huai’s attitude indirectly reflected Xie Yang’s feelings.
Qi Xu realized he had never explicitly said he didn’t like Xie Yang. Why would Su Huai or Xie Yang think that?
Is that why Xie Yang broke up with him?
Was there some misunderstanding between them?
And what about Su Huai’s comment that Xie Yang was still sick? Qi Xu couldn’t help but frown.
At that time, Little Assistant had said he just had a bit of a fever. It’s been so long, and he’s still not better? Has he been taking his medicine properly? Did he see a doctor?
Qi Xu: [Did he go to the hospital?]
Su Huai: [Yes, he did. The day he broke up with you, he was still in the hospital, so he asked me to send the flowers for him.]
Thinking about how Little Assistant barely spoke to him that day, Qi Xu realized it was because he was sick.
He felt both angry and guilty.
Angry that Little Assistant hadn’t told him his identity and just jumped to conclusions.
Guilty that he hadn’t earned his trust enough to take care of him.
There were many things he didn’t want to ask Su Huai; he wanted to hear Xie Yang’s explanation personally.
As Qi Xu didn’t reply, Su Huai remembered Xie Yang’s two and a half years of unrequited love for Qi Xu.
Knowing Xie Yang’s personality, it was uncertain when or if Qi Xu would ever find out about it.
Even though Qi Xu didn’t seem like he was out to cause trouble for Xie Yang, Su Huai couldn’t help but try to set things right for his good friend.
He felt he had to do something for his best friend.
Su Huai: [Xie Yang is very timid. He takes everything you say seriously. If you don’t like him, don’t look for him anymore.]
Su Huai: [If you think he did something wrong, don’t take it out on him. I’m sure if you told him you didn’t want to see him, he would stay far away from you and never appear in front of you again. Even the online relationship, he wouldn’t tell anyone. He’d keep it to himself.]
Su Huai: [Just like last time, when you said you didn’t like him, he automatically stayed out of any place you could see him.]
Su Huai: [Hurting him once is enough. This time, it’s his turn to hurt you. So, in a way, you’re even.]
After venting, Su Huai felt a pang of guilt. He had shared something without his friend’s consent.
He didn’t even know if anything could come of it between the two of them. Was he worrying unnecessarily?
If Qi Xu really didn’t have feelings for Xie Yang, wouldn’t he have just made things worse with his good intentions?
Su Huai started to retract his messages one by one.
But Qi Xu had already seen them all.
He was both shocked and confused.
When had he ever hurt Little Assistant?
And why would Little Assistant avoid him?
Qi Xu: [When did I ever say I didn’t like him?]
Su Huai felt embarrassed, realizing Qi Xu had seen his messages before he could retract them. He wondered if there was any point in retracting them now.
Su Huai: [You said it yourself, and Xie Yang heard it with his own ears.]
Su Huai: [It’s all your fault!]
Su Huai: [Because of you, he cried countless times. He finally moved on and started an online relationship, and it turned out to be with you!]
Su Huai: [Xie Yang has the worst luck!]
Su Huai looked at the message he sent and immediately clicked to withdraw it.
He got too excited by mistake…
Qi Xu seemed to understand from the message Su Huai sent him.
Xie Yang liked him. Before Little Assitant liked CX330, Xie Yang liked Qi Xu.