Chapter 2: Silent Longing
In September, city S remained under a prolonged heatwave.
The late summer sun was scorching and intense.
A wave of heat permeated the air, even the slightest breeze carried warmth. Standing under the sun felt like being engulfed in flames.
The instructor’s whistle and commands echoed constantly in their ears.
“March in step!”
“Halt!”
“Left turn!”
“…”
Xie Yang’s deep green camouflage uniform was soaked with sweat, his face pale, lips cracked, looking severely dehydrated.
Squinting, he glanced at the halo around the sun, the scorching heat almost roasting him alive.
With the command “At ease!” from the instructor, all classmates dispersed, hurriedly seeking shade under the trees to cool off.
Shaking his head, Xie Yang tried hard to stay alert, feeling as though he was seeing double of everything before him.
Like he was suffering from heatstroke.
Su Huai waved at him. “Xie Yang, come over here and rest.”
Rubbing his temples, Xie Yang felt the dizziness intensify.
Concerned, Su Huai looked at him swaying. “Are you okay?”
Xie Yang shook his head. “I’m fine.”
Su Huai quickly unscrewed a water bottle and handed it to him. “Your complexion is terrible. Have some water first.”
Taking the water, Xie Yang drank several mouthfuls, feeling some relief as the pain from his dry lips eased.
Su Huai squeezed some sunscreen onto Xie Yang’s hand, noticing his reddened face from sunburn, and furrowed his brows. “Why didn’t you apply sunscreen? The sun is brutal. Your skin can’t handle such strong UV rays, your face is already burnt.”
Perplexed, Xie Yang asked, “Sunscreen?”
Pausing, Su Huai recalled their time together recently and suddenly understood. “You just need to apply it evenly on your face, neck, and arms—any exposed skin.”
Seeing Su Huai squeeze out more sunscreen, Xie Yang hurriedly stopped him. “You don’t need to use so much.”
Smiling, Su Huai said, “It’s okay, this brand is cheap. I have a lot at home, and they’re almost expired. Perfect for clearing out some inventory.”
“Thank you,” Xie Yang replied.
“We don’t need to be so formal! Tonight, let’s do face masks together!” Su Huai suggested eagerly.
Seeing Su Huai’s enthusiastic expression, Xie Yang hesitated before nodding.
They had become good friends since the first day of school, from enrollment to moving into the dormitory. Su Huai had always been kind to him. Being in the same school and class without any prior conflict made their time together enjoyable.
Their beds were next to each other, so Su Huai often pulled him to lie down together, apply face masks, and gossip about S University.
According to Su Huai, good friends share everything.
In the adjacent medical department, students continued sweating on the playground. Perhaps due to the heat, their instructor had brought them to the shade near Xie Yang’s class for training.
The once quiet atmosphere now buzzed with excitement.
Notably, a few strikingly handsome guys from the medical department caught the attention of many students.
“The third row, third from the end, did you see him?”
“Which one? Let me see!”
“The one in the fifth row is quite good-looking too.”
“These few aren’t as eye-catching as the one standing at the edge of the last row. Look at his height, he must be over six feet tall, those long legs!”
“D*mn, the medical department hides such a handsome guy!”
“Go find out his name and maybe add him on WeChat?”
“He’s already being scoped out on the first day of school.”
“I knew it, with looks like that, he couldn’t escape notice.”
“However, I heard there’s someone from the School of Economics who’s even more popular.”
“Who? With that kind of looks, who could overshadow him?”
“Isn’t it Qi Xu from No. 1 High School?”
Xie Yang had been quietly resting nearby, listening to his classmates’ conversations.
Until the words “No. 1 High School” and “Qi Xu” gradually reached his ears, like pebbles thrown into a calm lake, stirring waves.
Qi Xu…
The boy he had liked for two years.
No matter when or where, hearing Qi Xu’s name always made his heart race.
Previously indifferent, he now listened intently.
“Qi Xu? Who’s that?”
“He’s the top scorer from No. 1 High School in S City!”
“He’s our school’s academic god, not only brilliant in academics but also super handsome!”
“I’ve been looking at guys in S University for several days, but none can match him.”
“What does he look like? Show me!”
“Go check the forums tonight. There are plenty of posts about him, with all sorts of photos.”
Forums?
Photos of Qi Xu?
Xie Yang silently noted down the information.
How did he not know about such good stuff?
The instructor’s voice interrupted Xie Yang’s thoughts.
“Assemble!”
Xie Yang panicked upon hearing the instructor’s voice, quickly got up, but the sudden movement caused an intense dizziness, making him lose balance and sway to the side uncontrollably.
“Xie Yang!”
Su Huai beside him quickly supported him, “What’s wrong with you?”
Xie Yang saw stars in his head, his face pale, shaking his head, “I’m fine, just need to rest for a while.”
Su Huai said worriedly, “Let me take you to the infirmary. If it’s heatstroke, it could be troublesome.”
At this moment, the instructor also walked over, seeing Xie Yang’s pale face, agreed to let Su Huai assist him to the infirmary.
The infirmary was crowded with freshmen in camouflage uniforms.
Su Huai helped him to a place where he could sit down and handed him a bottle of water.
“You probably have mild heatstroke symptoms. It’s too crowded in there, just sit here for now. I’ll find the doctor to give you some medicine.”
Xie Yang nodded, “Thank you.”
After waiting for a long time and Su Huai hadn’t come out yet, he had to send Su Huai a text message: “I’m going to wash my face. I’ll be back soon.”
Xie Yang’s head was still spinning, and it wasn’t until he finished washing his face that he remembered he had applied sunscreen earlier. Now it was all washed off. Fortunately, he could go back to the dormitory soon without having to attend military training again.
He washed his glasses as well, wiping the water off them as he walked.
“I say, can you act a bit more convincingly? Your exaggerated acting, and he still let you go.”
“That’s right.”
“Old Qi, shouldn’t you be thanking me? If I hadn’t faked fainting, do you think you’d be here? You’d still be out there in the sun.”
“Tsk.”
Voices of several boys talking at the stairway made Xie Yang stop abruptly. He hurriedly put on his glasses and looked towards the stairs.
It was Qi Xu’s voice!
But after he put on his glasses, the voices abruptly stopped.
Xie Yang couldn’t discern his exact direction for a moment, looking around but not seeing Qi Xu’s figure, as if everything just now had been a hallucination.
He sighed disappointedly.
Forget it.
There would always be a chance to meet. No need to rush.
In the evening, Su Huai helped Xie Yang apply a face mask. Xie Yang’s long bangs fell into the mask, so Su Huai had to tie them up with a small hair tie.
“Your hair is getting too long. You should get it cut.”
Xie Yang nodded, “I’ll go this weekend.”
Originally, he had planned to cut it before the school started, but the bakery was quite busy back then, and it wasn’t until the day before school started that the boss finally let him go. So, he didn’t have time to get a haircut and kept postponing it until now.
Su Huai smiled, “It’s about time. Look how good you look with your forehead exposed.”
Xie Yang smiled shyly.
Although he didn’t think he was good-looking, it was rare for him to be praised by others.
Su Huai lay on the bed, took out the photos he had taken with his phone today, and asked him softly, “What do you think of the guy from the Medical Department we saw today?”
Xie Yang asked, “Medical Department?”
Su Huai said, “The one standing on the far right in the last row, the most handsome one.”
Xie Yang thought for a while, his memory blurred, and he hesitated embarrassedly, “I forgot what he looks like.”
At that time, although his classmates had been discussing the appearance of the guy Su Huai mentioned, he wasn’t curious. He just casually glanced up and didn’t think much of it.
His mind was filled with thoughts of Qi Xu, and Qi Xu’s handsome face was the only thing left in his mind.
Su Huai pointed to the photo on his phone screen, “Here, this is him.”
Xie Yang didn’t have much impression of this guy, but looking at Su Huai’s slightly expectant eyes, he confidently said, “He’s very handsome.”
Though not as handsome as Qi Xu.
He vaguely understood Su Huai’s implication.
Su Huai also didn’t intend to hide it from him and regretfully said, “That guy looks like a typical straight guy, no chance. Oh well, on to the next one.”
Su Huai never liked dealing with straight guys; he only dated people within his circle.
He never thought about turning straight guys, which might seem thrilling to many people, but Su Huai considered it asking for big trouble.
Therefore, he never made a move on straight guys; he wouldn’t do it until he knew their orientation.
Xie Yang fell silent upon hearing this.
Qi Xu was also straight, even homophobic.
So he always kept his feelings hidden deep inside.
He dared not let the other party find out, nor did he dare let others find out.
He feared causing trouble for the other person and feared becoming disliked.
In his heart, silently loving someone was the most beautiful thing he could do.
Qi Xu didn’t need to know his feelings.
Thinking of Qi Xu, he suddenly remembered the forum the classmates had mentioned when they were cooling off in the shade.
It was Xie Yang’s first time logging into S University’s forum, where he saw various posts welcoming freshmen, interspersed with confessions.
Qi Xu’s name appeared frequently in his view, and Xie Yang eagerly clicked into each post to learn everything about Qi Xu.
[I heard this freshman is from the School of Economics and Management. Anyone got his contact information?]
[He’s in our class! Can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be in the same class as the campus heartthrob!]
[Could someone upstairs share his contact information?]
[Willing to pay a high price for his WeChat ID.]
[Forget it. I’ve been in the same class with Qi Xu for three years in high school and still haven’t added his WeChat.]
[Qi Xu is as cold as ice. He barely speaks to anyone he doesn’t know. My advice is to give up…]
[Many girls wrote love letters to him during high school, but he never seemed interested in anyone.]
[Didn’t expect our Qi Da1 to be such a heartthrob. Straight to the top at S University.]
The thread also had many people asking for Qi Xu’s photos, and quite a few had posted photos of Qi Xu taken from various angles by passersby.
Xie Yang clicked open each photo one by one, viewing them all and quietly saving quite a few, placing them inside a locked album.
Inside this album were all photos of Qi Xu, collected from various sources he had seen. Whenever he felt down, he would open this secret album and browse through Qi Xu’s photos.
Every time he looked at Qi Xu’s face, it would bring him secret joy. The admiration he held in his heart was enough to sustain Xie Yang for a long time.
With his fingertips, he carefully traced the features of Qi Xu in the photos.
Since graduating from high school, he hadn’t seen Qi Xu for a long time.
Longing silently, fortunately silently.
Note :
- “Qi Da” (祁大) “Da” (大) can imply “great” or “big,” suggesting that Qi Xu is recognized or renowned in some way, likely for his achievements or popularity. It’s a nickname or informal title used to denote his stature or status among his peers. ↩︎
awww mc is a cutie!