Chapter 17: His Love
Nightfall arrived, and it began to drizzle again outside the window.
Only a dim little desk lamp remained in the dormitory. In the silent rainy night, the only sound was the patter of raindrops hitting the windowsill.
Drip, drip, drop.
Xie Yang listened quietly to the sound of the rain, and his thoughts began to drift away.
CX330: My city is raining. How about yours?
Caramel Pudding: Mm, it’s been raining a lot lately.
The weather in S City had been persistently rainy and cold recently.
When Xie Yang saw the message from CX330, he didn’t think much of it.
But when he saw CX330’s next message, Xie Yang was stunned.
CX330: What I mean is, I like you. I want to see you.
Xie Yang stared at the message repeatedly, unable to calm down.
Without a doubt, he liked CX330.
Even though they had only known each other for a brief two months, during that time, they had played games together every day.
Ever since they added each other on WeChat, they chatted every day.
They chatted during class, while eating, and at all times. They were always in contact.
Except for not being able to meet in person, they spent a lot of time “together.”
Feelings develop bit by bit through conversation.
Or maybe he was just too lonely.
These two months had been his happiest time since his grandmother passed away.
He didn’t know the other person’s name or appearance. He didn’t know much about him at all.
But they had accompanied each other for a full two months.
Even if it was just playing games.
But it was only limited to playing games, so Xie Yang had never thought there would be a chance to interact with CX330 in real life.
His liking was merely a fondness for a boy he had never met online. He admired him but never thought about having a relationship beyond being online friends.
CX330’s confession made him happy, but even more so, it made him uneasy and apprehensive.
He was gay, but he didn’t know CX330’s sexual orientation.
He had always thought CX330 was willing to spend time with him because he considered Xie Yang a “little sister.”
Some things had always been left unsaid, and Xie Yang had cowardly hoped they could just muddle through without addressing them.
But that wasn’t possible. When all issues are laid out in the open, he could no longer hide in his shell like a turtle, deceiving himself to avoid them.
It was time to let go of the warmth he had greedily held onto for so long.
Xie Yang opened the WeChat conversation. Their chat history still lingered on CX330’s confession.
Caramel Pudding: I’m sorry, there’s something I’ve never clearly told you. Actually, I’m a boy, not a girl.
Caramel Pudding: If you want to delete me or curse me out before deleting me, it’s okay.
Caramel Pudding: I’m sorry.
After sending out all the words he wanted to say, Xie Yang sadly turned off his phone screen.
His current mood felt as if it had returned to the day Qi Xu said he didn’t like him.
A sense of relief.
Expecting a death sentence from the other party, yet yearning to hear a different answer.
Every second waiting for a reply was torment.
Xie Yang didn’t even dare to look at his phone screen.
He was afraid.
Afraid that CX330’s former gentleness would be gone, leaving only harsh insults, like a sharp knife stabbing into his heart.
He couldn’t bear it.
Xie Yang trembled as he opened the chat window.
CX330: I like you, regardless of your gender.
CX330: Whether you’re a man or a woman doesn’t matter to me; I like you as a person.
Xie Yang was stunned once again as he read this.
He had thought CX330 might say some very angry words, or even directly block and delete him.
He never imagined that CX330 would say something so surprising and nerve-wracking.
His mind went completely blank.
CX330’s straightforward affection threw his emotions into chaos.
Thump—
His heart was pounding uncontrollably.
The inner turmoil left his mind a blur, his hands trembling uncontrollably as he typed a hasty message: But my gaming skills are terrible; I always hold you back.
He felt dizzy, not even knowing what nonsense he was saying.
CX330: I don’t mind.
CX330: I’m not into you for your game character or your gaming skills.
CX330: Little support, I like you, and it has nothing to do with the game.
Xie Yang’s heart trembled, his eyes slightly teary, unable to hold back his tears.
When he liked Qi Xu before, he thought that if his gaming skills were better, he would have a chance to play games with Qi Xu.
Even when he was kicked out of the room, he only blamed himself for his poor gaming skills.
He fantasized that if his gaming skills weren’t so bad, if he knew how to play the game, things might have turned out differently.
He had intended to create a new account to practice his skills.
But after meeting CX330, he seemed to have forgotten about it.
It turned out that some people didn’t care about his gaming skills.
They were willing to play with him regardless.
They never looked down on him for being bad at the game.
Xie Yang felt more complicated emotions.
Thinking about his awkward and unlikable personality, he decided to lay it all out.
He was afraid CX330 would regret it.
Caramel Pudding: I have a bad personality, poor social skills, and not many friends.
He was like a little mushroom growing alone in a dark corner, never seeing the sun.
Few people were willing to be friends with him.
Some even avoided him, thinking he was gay.
CX330: How can someone so good and so cute have a bad personality?
CX330: I also have poor social skills and not many friends.
CX330: You’re all I have.
Xie Yang lightly bit his lip, his heart pounding like a drum.
“You’re all I have.”
This sentence made Xie Yang’s hand holding the phone tremble.
The calm lake was now full of ripples, waves surging, and billowing.
CX330’s expression of love was like the afternoon sun, shining through the treetops, casting dappled light on the ground.
Bit by bit, it filled the cracks in his heart.
In this cold winter, it warmed him from head to toe.
Perhaps he really was too deprived of love, so he was moved so easily.
But he still refused.
Caramel Pudding: Sorry, I’m not ready to meet you yet.
He nervously rejected CX330’s affection.
Xie Yang looked at the status bar above, showing “the other party is typing…” and pursed his lips slightly.
Five minutes later, CX330 sent another message.
CX330: If you can’t accept reality for now, we can try starting with an online relationship.
Caramel Pudding: Online relationship?
CX330: We don’t need to know each other’s names or appearances. We can continue interacting as we always have.
Xie Yang wasn’t unfamiliar with online relationships, but he had never thought that CX330 would choose to have one with him.
It seemed incredible.
At first, he thought someone with CX330’s personality would never bother with an online relationship with anyone.
Just as he said, online relationships don’t require revealing real-life information.
It’s more like providing each other with emotional value through the internet.
Xie Yang was moved.
He couldn’t bear to say goodbye to CX330.
If transitioning from being gaming friends to an online relationship only means being closer, then there’s no real difference.
This was what he wanted, what he liked.
He wasn’t good-looking, just average.
His real life was a mess too.
For some reason, he didn’t want CX330 to know these things, so he always avoided talking about his family background when they chatted.
If it was just an online relationship, they wouldn’t need to meet or know each other’s real-life details.
In this virtual world, he hoped that CX330 would remain his electronic boyfriend.
Thinking this, Xie Yang felt himself relax.
Perhaps it was taking too long for him to reply, so CX330 sent another message.
CX330: Can’t accept me?
Xie Yang quickly replied: No.
Caramel Pudding: I just didn’t know what to say.
CX330: So you don’t like me?
He asked so bluntly.
Xie Yang’s face turned bright red, and he slowly typed a few words.
Caramel Pudding: I do like you.
As soon as he sent that message, CX330’s voice call came through.
Xie Yang was startled.
Though they had been chatting on WeChat for a long time, they had never made a voice call.
Usually, when they played games, CX330 would use voice chat to guide him, but Xie Yang always typed his responses.
Even in WeChat chats, he had never sent CX330 a voice message.
Staring at the red decline button, he hesitated to press it.
In the past, he would have used the excuse that his roommate was around to refuse.
But they had just confirmed their online relationship.
In an online relationship, even as electronic boyfriends, they should maintain their connection through voice calls, right?
He had read posts about online relationships a few days ago, and voice calls were part of the routine.
They help increase emotional intimacy.
Biting his lower lip, Xie Yang lightly touched the screen and accepted the call.
“Good evening, little support.”
The excited and joyful voice from the receiver made Xie Yang even more nervous.
Usually, he could easily call him “Brother”, but now he couldn’t get the words out.
After several mental preparations, he finally stammered, “Brother”
His voice was so soft that Qi Xu almost thought he imagined it.
It was like a feather gently brushing Qi Xu’s heart.
Ticklish and soft.
Qi Xu coaxed gently, “Say it again, okay?”
Blushing to his neck, Xie Yang mustered his courage and said, “Good evening, Brother.”
Qi Xu smiled contentedly.
Little Support’s voice was just as he had imagined.
Very obedient, very soft, sounding very young.
Qi Xu: “I’m very happy.”
Xie Yang softly replied, “Mm,” feeling genuinely happy too.
He still felt a bit fluttery inside, as if everything was going too smoothly, too dreamlike, giving it an unreal feeling.
Qi Xu chuckled, “I thought you would hang up on me.”
Xie Yang felt the awkwardness of having his thoughts exposed. Initially, he did want to hang up, so he quietly explained, “I’m alone in the dorm right now, so I can talk.”
Qi Xu pretended to be sad, “You can’t normally?”
Xie Yang was flustered, hastily explaining, “The dorm is usually noisy, so it’s inconvenient to talk.”
After saying this, he quickly added, “I’m sorry.”
Qi Xu: “Why are you apologizing? If anyone should apologize, it should be me.”
Xie Yang opened his mouth slightly, but the words got stuck in his throat.
Why?
Qi Xu: “I was just teasing you earlier. I wouldn’t get upset over something like that. Every time I call you, I wonder when you’ll finally agree to a voice chat.”
Xie Yang bit his lip and spoke uncomfortably, “My voice doesn’t sound good.”
It was a world apart from CX330’s voice.
Qi Xu didn’t understand why his little support was so insecure.
Even about his voice.
But to Qi Xu, everything about him was wonderful. His personality was very sweet, even his voice.
So sweet it made Qi Xu’s heart ache.
Qi Xu: “What do you mean it doesn’t sound good? I like it.”
Xie Yang’s face turned red again, and he murmured, “Your voice sounds really nice.”
Qi Xu: “Do you like it?”
Xie Yang quietly said, “Yes, I do.”
Qi Xu laughed softly, “I’m honored.”
Xie Yang was at a loss for words, so he simply pressed his lips together and stayed silent.
Qi Xu: “From now on, when your roommate isn’t around, will you voice chat with me?”
Xie Yang thought for a moment, then obediently replied, “Okay.”
Qi Xu: “Good boy.”
Xie Yang felt hot all over. Despite the cold weather, he was burning up, unable to calm his agitated emotions.
Qi Xu: “Wanna play a game?”
Xie Yang: “Mm.”
After logging into the game, Xie Yang, as usual, tried to pull Qi Xu into a room.
Qi Xu: “Give me a few minutes.”
Xie Yang: “Okay.”
In the quiet environment, Xie Yang could even hear the light breathing from the other end of the headphones.
Whenever he voiced with CX330, Xie Yang felt like he was right there beside him.
He no longer felt alone.
Qi Xu: “All set.”
Xie Yang noticed a small red dot on the screen.
In the toolbar under the personal profile section, there was a small red dot next to [Intimate Relationship] Xie Yang clicked on it.
CX330 has requested to become your partner.
[Accept/Reject]
Xie Yang softly murmured, a bit confused, “Partner?”
Qi Xu: “I’ve been thinking for a while, wondering when we could also bind as a couple, just like others.”
Xie Yang didn’t respond, staring at the game interface, not really understanding these features.
Qi Xu: “Or are you going to reject me?”
CX330’s voice turned cold. When teasing him, his tone was playful and gentle, but now it sounded tinged with disappointment.
Xie Yang hurriedly said, “No, that’s not what I mean.”
He clicked [Accept]
[System: You are now a couple with CX330.]
Xie Yang hadn’t had time to figure out what being a couple in the game meant before CX330 invited him into the game room.
“I’ve invited you.”
[Caramel Pudding joined the room.]
Qi Xu: “What do you want to play?”
Recently, Xie Yang had been playing Zyra a lot. He liked this flower-planting hero.
Zyra had crowd control and damage, and wasn’t too hard to play, so he could manage her easily.
Except for being a bit squishy, there wasn’t much wrong with her.
But now he wanted to try something different.
Xie Yang: “Can we play something else? Maybe ARAM or even auto chess.”
His voice grew softer and more uncertain as he spoke.
Qi Xu: “We can play whatever you want. Even if it’s card games or small web games like those on 4399, it’s fine.”
Or they didn’t have to play games at all; he just thought his little support was too shy. If they didn’t do something, just having a voice chat might make him too reluctant to speak.
4399?
Xie Yang was embarrassingly tempted.
As someone without much gaming talent, he really enjoyed casual games.
Unfortunately, those web games usually required two people to play together on the same device and couldn’t be played online.
Xie Yang couldn’t help but imagine them sitting together, playing games.
Even though he didn’t know what CX330 looked like, he imagined CX330 must be taller and more handsome than him.
They would sit together, looking at a small computer screen.
Each controlling their own characters.
Thinking about this, Xie Yang couldn’t help but smile.
CX330’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Little support?”
Xie Yang reflexively responded, “Yes?”
Qi Xu teased, “Daydreaming again?”
Xie Yang pulled himself together, pushing aside those idle thoughts.
But he couldn’t help but hope.
He hoped they would have a day like that someday.
Update quickly please 😭