Chapter 10: Struggling to Let Go
The sudden heartbreak left Xie Yang in a state of quiet sadness for a long time.
He still liked Qi Xu.
A two-and-a-half-year crush couldn’t be easily let go.
But now, Xie Yang was learning to let go of this unrequited love.
Letting go of a relationship is one of life’s essential lessons.
But unfortunately, he hadn’t fully mastered this lesson yet.
He still couldn’t completely let go of the memories and feelings from over eight hundred days and nights.
He no longer yearned for opportunities to see Qi Xu, nor did he hope for any interactions with him.
Qi Xu’s clear rejection made Xie Yang realize that this unrequited love needed an end.
He should learn to move on, rather than keeping himself stuck and struggling alone.
The Computer Science and Business Administration departments weren’t far apart, so if he wanted to see Qi Xu, it wouldn’t be difficult.
But he no longer had the desire to orchestrate chance encounters or sneak peeks at him from a distance.
Instead, he wanted to stay far away.
Even when he occasionally heard Qi Xu’s voice while his roommates were gaming together, he would put on headphones and turn up the volume to drown out all other noises.
He no longer yearned for anything related to Qi Xu and forced himself to abandon this love.
Su Huai said he was sick.
Xie Yang wasn’t sure.
Su Huai introduced him to many excellent guys in their circle, but Xie Yang always ended up comparing them to Qi Xu.
None of them were as good as Qi Xu.
When he sat alone in quiet contemplation, he always thought of Qi Xu.
He hadn’t opened that secret photo album again, nor had he logged onto the forum or searched for Qi Xu’s WeChat account daily.
But he still remembered Qi Xu’s face.
That clear contour, those exquisite features, and that cold expression.
It was as if they were deeply etched in his mind, impossible to forget.
Xie Yang sighed softly and tried to compose himself.
He didn’t want Qi Xu to affect his emotions anymore.
The doorbell rang, accompanied by the sound of an electronic greeting.
“Welcome.”
Xie Yang looked up and was slightly stunned.
The face he remembered so clearly was right in front of him.
Xie Yang couldn’t recall how long it had been since he last saw Qi Xu.
He had deliberately avoided all places where he might run into Qi Xu, except for this cake shop.
The longing he had buried deep inside started to crumble at this moment.
Just seeing him once shattered all his efforts.
Xie Yang took a deep breath, adjusted his breathing, and spoke calmly, “Hello, what would you like to order?”
“One caramel pudding.”
Hearing “caramel pudding,” Xie Yang was momentarily dazed. Under Qi Xu’s puzzled gaze, he quickly came to his senses.
“Okay, please wait a moment.”
Distracted, Xie Yang baked the pudding, thinking about his game ID.
He hadn’t logged into the game for a long time. He had created a smurf account to practice his skills, hoping to play with Qi Xu someday.
But after that one time, he hadn’t gone online again.
He wondered if the expert had deleted him as a friend by now.
After being offline for so long, he wondered what rank the expert had reached and if he could still carry him in duo queue.
Lost in thought, Xie Yang accidentally overcooked the caramel pudding a bit.
Feeling guilty, he glanced at Qi Xu.
There was only one caramel pudding left in the shop.
Maybe Qi Xu wouldn’t notice.
“Here is your caramel pudding,” Xie Yang said, handing it to Qi Xu with a slight bow and a sweet smile on his face.
He felt strangely uneasy.
Some customers liked the caramel on top to be a bit more burnt and crispy; he hoped Qi Xu was one of them.
Qi Xu’s gaze lingered on his face.
In fact, he remembered seeing this person frequently.
At events, in school, in many places.
It seemed like they had met countless times.
But Qi Xu didn’t know his name.
He often ignored this person’s presence.
However, he had a vague impression of him.
His gaze moved from Xie Yang’s face to his pale, slender hands.
Xie Yang had very fair skin, thin fingers, slightly red fingertips, and neatly trimmed nails.
It was clear that he was very clean.
He was also petite and thin, which easily evoked a protective instinct in others.
Every time Qi Xu saw him, he always seemed particularly nervous.
His gaze held admiration, shyness, and many emotions Qi Xu couldn’t understand.
He looked well-behaved, and his personality seemed the same.
That’s why Qi Xu’s gaze lingered on him a little longer.
But unlike before, this time, standing in front of Xie Yang, he noticed that Xie Yang’s eyes had less admiration and shyness and more complexity and sadness.
He didn’t understand why Xie Yang’s gaze had changed.
But he also didn’t think it was necessary to know.
He had never cared about others’ affairs.
After Qi Xu left, Xie Yang let out a sigh of relief.
He couldn’t help but feel that Qi Xu seemed different today compared to his previous visits to the store.
But it didn’t matter anymore.
Xie Yang didn’t return to school until eight o’clock that night.
After he finished showering, his roommates gradually came back.
Su Huai and Xia Heng had recently started dating and always returned late at night.
Song Xingyu and Xi Rui spent their free time playing duo queue to rank up.
Seeing them playing so enthusiastically, Xie Yang remembered he needed to log into the game.
As soon as he logged in, he checked his friends list to see if the expert had deleted him.
Seeing that the system showed the expert was online seven days ago, Xie Yang couldn’t help but feel relieved.
It turned out everyone was busy.
Feeling a bit melancholic, Xie Yang queued up for a game.
Suddenly, he saw CX330 come online.
Quickly canceling his match, he poked CX330 in a private message: “Good evening ^^”
It took Qi Xu a moment to remember who Caramel Pudding was.
Xie Yang invited him to join a game.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Let’s play together, Master.
[Team] CX330: Don’t call me master.
Xie Yang also felt that calling him an master was a bit weird.
Hmm.
Xie Yang thought for a moment, feeling that the other person was probably older than him.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: How old are you?
[Team] Qi Xu casually replied: 20.
Just as he thought!
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Brother, let’s duo queue together.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Please. jpg
Qi Xu clicked his tongue lightly.
Why call him brother?
System: CX330 has joined the room.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Thank you, brother.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Obedient. jpg
Qi Xu thought for a moment and changed his primary role to ADC and his secondary role to mid lane.
If he set his secondary role to jungle, he might not get the ADC role, as there were fewer jungle players and he would likely be assigned to jungle. Since there were more mid lane players, he was less likely to get mid lane.
Xie Yang banned Thresh himself.
Qi Xu banned Blitzcrank for him.
Then the enemy picked Nautilus.
Qi Xu: “…”
Xie Yang: “…”
Maybe the enemy support saw that Xie Yang’s team banned both Thresh and Blitzcrank, so they decided to pick Nautilus.
Nautilus also had a hook.
Xie Yang felt like the enemy had figured out his thoughts.
He chose Lulu again.
Qi Xu picked Kalista.
Once in the game, Xie Yang followed closely behind Qi Xu, feeling very secure.
This time, he didn’t hide under the tower but bravely positioned himself behind the minions.
He realized that if there were minions in front of him, those hook champions couldn’t hook him.
Qi Xu noticed that the little support had gotten smarter.
Now he knew how to soak up experience points.
Nautilus was a big champion, but he was actually quite squishy.
The first time Nautilus hooked Lulu, Xie Yang panicked and immediately flashed, nearly getting killed by his own ADC’s damage combo.
Nautilus’s hook ability causes him to fly to the target, unlike Blitzcrank who pulls the target towards him.
So, each time Nautilus tried to hook Xie Yang after that, Xie Yang wasn’t as panicked. He even coordinated with Qi Xu to deal some damage in return.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Brother, you’re amazing.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: I’m going to win effortlessly.
Xie Yang praised him generously, hoping to hold on to this cool player.
Qi Xu had always been talented at gaming, so Song Xingyu and Sheng Fei often asked him to carry them. He was used to receiving praise, but for some reason, he felt particularly happy today and even talked more than usual.
[Team] CX330: Don’t start the game yet. Go to the store and buy Yuumi.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Yuumi?
[Team] CX330: Attach to me, and you won’t have to worry about getting hooked.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: !!!
A champion like this exists?!
Xie Yang quickly returned to the main game screen and searched the store several times before finding Yuumi, as Qi Xu suggested.
He carefully read through the champion’s skills but still didn’t quite understand.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Brother, how do I play this champion?
[Team] CX330: Start by learning the W skill and attach to me. Just don’t detach.
Xie Yang sort of understood.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Got it, brother.
This constant “brother” amused Qi Xu.
Xie Yang’s rank was in Silver, so he was matched with other Silver players, where Blitzcrank was a popular pick.
In this match, the enemy support was indeed Blitzcrank.
Xie Yang and Qi Xu picked Twitch and Yuumi, respectively.
Qi Xu’s movement was very agile, making it impossible for a Silver-level Blitzcrank to hook him.
Xie Yang did as Qi Xu instructed and stayed attached to him the entire game.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Feels like I don’t even need to move.
[Team] Caramel Pudding: Can I just keep playing Yuumi and stay attached to you, brother?
Qi Xu didn’t respond, but it was evident he was in a good mood.
That “stay attached to him” line pleased Qi Xu.
Sheng Fei climbed over from the next bed, peering over.
“What are you playing?”
“You’re smiling so creepily.”
Qi Xu immediately reined in his smile, casting a glance at Sheng Fei, signaling him to leave.
Sheng Fei stubbornly leaned closer, looking at Qi Xu’s phone screen, and exclaimed, “D*mn, Qi Xu, you’re playing on a smurf again? Wait, you’re playing Twitch, and that’s Yuumi on your head. Are you carrying a girl?”
Qi Xu grunted.
Sheng Fei looked at him incredulously, surprised, “Are you really carrying a girl? Who is it? Someone from our school? Do I know her?”
Qi Xu didn’t answer, not wanting to tell this blabbermouth anything.
Sheng Fei quickly glanced at the support’s ID.
“Caramel Pudding? Isn’t that your little support?”
“You told me you deleted her.”
“Tsk.”
“So you couldn’t bring yourself to delete her after all.”