Chapter 45 – The Reason
Bai Jinyan looked at the diary in his hand, silent. The contemplative look seemed to be weighing something.
Qiao Huaiyao immediately said, “Don’t try to brush it off.”
He pursed his lips slightly and asked, “Is it related to Aunt Meng?”
“Pushing me away wasn’t my intention, right?” Qiao Huaiyao felt confused, but at this moment, all the things related to this matter seemed to come together in his cluttered thoughts, making things clearer.
“Is it…?” Qiao Huaiyao’s voice trailed off, and the word he wanted to say was difficult to utter.
Even though he already had the answer in his heart, he hesitated to speak until Bai Jinyan confirmed it with his own words. When he opened his mouth, he was still hesitant.
Qiao Huaiyao urgently wanted to know the answer but was also afraid that the answer would align with his suspicions.
As his hand touched the door labeled “truth,” Qiao Huaiyao momentarily lost the courage to push it open.
“Yes,” the word dropped like a hammer on his ears. Qiao Huaiyao suddenly looked up and saw Bai Jinyan speaking earnestly and resolutely.
Tears welled up in his eyes.
Qiao Huaiyao closed his eyes, letting the tears roll down his cheeks, his lips tightly pressed into a line.
He stepped forward and embraced Bai Jinyan, burying his face in his chest.
“You should have told me…,” Qiao Huaiyao began, his voice choked with emotion, and he couldn’t find the words to continue. “You should have told me long ago. I should have known.”
Bai Jinyan wrapped his arms around him, gently patting his back, his eyelids lowered to hide his emotions.
Qiao Huaiyao’s crying was soft, as if he was venting the grievances of a previous lifetime. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he sobbed.
Bai Jinyan tightened his hold on him, letting his tears wet his shirt. “Don’t cry,” he said softly after a pause. “Be good.”
Seeing that Qiao Huaiyao was not responding, Bai Jinyan apologized, “I’m sorry, big brother was wrong. Please don’t cry, okay?”
Qiao Huaiyao shook his head, still crying and not paying attention to him.
What saddened Qiao Huaiyao was not the confession itself, but the fact that two people who cared about each other had missed out on so much.
While Bai Jinyan continued to pat his back and console him, Qiao Huaiyao remained silent. They stood together in the hallway for a long time.
…
After a while, Bai Jinyan sensed a change in the person in his arms and lowered his voice, “Alright, stop crying. Your eyes will hurt tomorrow.”
Seeing that Qiao Huaiyao was still not speaking, Bai Jinyan added, “You still have to attend the awards ceremony tomorrow. What if your eyes get swollen from crying?”
Qiao Huaiyao replied gloomily, “I’m just sitting in the audience. It doesn’t matter.”
Bai Jinyan wiped away the tears at the corner of his eyes with his fingers. “Let’s go back to the room,” he suggested.
Qiao Huaiyao nodded slightly but found it difficult to move. He reached out to steady himself by holding onto Bai Jinyan’s arm. Seeing this, Bai Jinyan hugged him tightly and lifted him off the ground.
As he lost his balance, Qiao Huaiyao’s eyes widened in surprise, and he instinctively clung to Bai Jinyan’s neck. Qiao Huaiyao couldn’t help but curl his fingertips. “Brother…”
“Hmm,” Bai Jinyan responded calmly. “Hold on tight.”
With Qiao Huaiyao now in his arms, he naturally fit against Bai Jinyan’s chest.
The sound of their heartbeats was far from as calm as it appeared on Bai Jinyan’s face.
Bai Jinyan carried Qiao Huaiyao back to the bedroom and laid him down on the bed before turning to leave.
Qiao Huaiyao was momentarily surprised, but then he reached out and grabbed the edge of Bai Jinyan’s shirt.
When Bai Jinyan looked back at him, Qiao Huaiyao’s eyes were averted, and his hand didn’t let go. “Uh, what…”
Bai Jinyan instantly understood the unspoken words and said, “I’ll go to the bathroom to get something, just a minute.”
Qiao Huaiyao’s fingertips moved slightly, and he slowly released his grip, whispering, “Okay.”
With the bathroom door closed, the sound of running water became the only noise in the quiet room. Qiao Huaiyao still held the diary, absentmindedly tapping it with his fingertips. After a moment of contemplation, he decided not to return the diary to its owner and instead placed it in his bedside drawer. Just as he closed the drawer, Bai Jinyan returned.
Bai Jinyan crouched in front of Qiao Huaiyao and said, “Close your eyes.”
“What is this?” Qiao Huaiyao asked, already closing his eyes. The warm towel emitting steam was approaching, bringing a soothing warmth.
“It’s for your eyes,” Bai Jinyan explained as he placed the warm towel, soaked in hot water and wrung out, on Qiao Huaiyao’s eyes. “To reduce the swelling. If you don’t do this, your eyes might hurt when you wake up tomorrow. Not unbearably, but it’ll be uncomfortable.”
Qiao Huaiyao reached out to hold Bai Jinyan’s hand and said softly, “Brother…”
Bai Jinyan remained calm, “Hmm?”
“Thank you,” Qiao Huaiyao whispered as he felt the comforting warmth of the towel.