Chapter 61 — Don’t rush, I’m putting it on.
On the evening of her fourth day in Huaining City, Nan Xu could clearly feel that it was much colder here than in Zhi’an. The weather forecast even said there would be snow in half a month.
Sipping her hot milk, Nan Xu felt a chill run through her and quickly pulled her feet back under the blanket.
She hadn’t come here for leisure anyway, so she’d spent almost all four days holed up in the hotel, letting everything stay calm and quiet.
During this time, she carefully tried to get some information out of Zhang Huiwan.
That was how she learned that Xie Hengzhi had fallen down the stairs that night—but thankfully, Zhang Huiwan had caught him in time. His life wasn’t in danger, though he did suffer a broken right leg. It wasn’t too serious, and these past few days, Xie Hejing had been taking care of him.
If Xie Hejing was busy looking after Uncle Xie, then he probably didn’t have the energy to bother her. Nan Xu let out a small sigh of relief.
Toward the end of their conversation, Zhang Huiwan asked when she planned to return—it had already been a month. She said she’d asked Xie Hejing, and he’d told her that Nan Xu was still staying at a friend’s place for a while.
Nan Xu straightened up and stared at the screen.
He’s still making up excuses for me?!
After hesitating for a moment, she decided to send a few messages to Zhang Huiwan.
[Aunt Zhang, I’ve been back in the country for quite a while now and have mostly settled down. I’d feel bad continuing to trouble you and Uncle Xie.]
[You’ve really been so kind to me these past weeks. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you both.]
When Zhang Huiwan saw the messages, she was shocked. Thinking of how gloomy Xie Hejing had looked these past few days, she wanted to ask him directly—but he wasn’t home.
So she sent Nan Xu a message instead:
[Jiaojiao, did you have a fight with Hejing?]
[If you did, tell me—Auntie will stand up for you.]
[I just wanted you to stay here with us. Hejing isn’t home most of the time, and now you’re leaving too—then it’ll just be me and Uncle Xie staring at each other all day.]
Zhang Huiwan got so flustered that she didn’t even think about Xie Hengzhi lying in the bedroom. Sitting in the living room, she hurriedly typed message after message to Nan Xu.
She truly liked this girl.
If Nan Xu really was moving out because of a conflict with Xie Hejing, Zhang Huiwan would probably scold him harshly. After all, since Nan Xu was alone in Zhi’an, it was her responsibility as a family friend to look after her properly.
But Nan Xu didn’t want to make things worse. She just wanted to calm Aunt Zhang down for now. After thinking it over, she simply said that she was looking for a place to stay and didn’t mention anything about what had happened with Xie Hejing.
Over the past four days, Nan Xu’s mood had stabilized a lot. She had also started thinking about what to do next.
Since things had come to this point, and with Xie Hejing still in Zhi’an, she probably wouldn’t go back there. She liked Huaining City—it was a pleasant city—and staying here wouldn’t be a burden.
She opened the rental and job-hunting apps and slowly began browsing. Over these past few days, she’d looked through quite a few listings, and several companies had already invited her for interviews—one of which was scheduled for tomorrow.
Feeling confident in herself, she decided to have dinner, get a good night’s sleep, and go to the interview in the morning.
Then came a knock at the door.
Knock, knock, knock.
Followed by a voice: “Delivery.”
It must be her dinner.
Nan Xu called out, “Just leave it outside!”
She closed the job app and waited a while before getting up to open the door.
But when she looked down, she realized the item outside wasn’t her food—it was a box.
She didn’t dare open it and couldn’t find any sign of the delivery guy. So she decided to just leave it there and went back into the room.
About half an hour later, the delivery man’s voice came again. Nan Xu still told him to leave it outside.
When she opened the door again, she saw her dinner—only this time, it was being held by someone.
Not just anyone.
But—
Xie Hejing.
“Nan Xu, it’s been four days. Did you miss me?”
Nan Xu froze, her face stiffening instantly. Her eyes widened, her lips moved a few times, but no sound came out.
Why was Xie Hejing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be home taking care of Uncle Xie?!
She couldn’t find her voice, but her body reacted instinctively. Nan Xu immediately grabbed the door and tried to shut it—she didn’t care that her dinner was still in his hands.
But it was useless. Xie Hejing’s hand easily stopped the door, and with a casual push, he forced it open.
He nudged the box at his feet inside with the tip of his shoe. It rolled in, bottles clinking softly against each other before the sound faded.
His expression was calm, though his tone carried a faint hint of reproach. “What, you’re not happy to see me?”
Nan Xu shook her head.
With the threat radiating from him, who could possibly be happy to see him?
A flicker of cold sharpness flashed in his eyes before he buried it under a forced smile. “Ungrateful little thing,” he muttered, then set her dinner on the table.
“Come eat,” he said lightly. “You’ll need your strength later.”
Nan Xu stared at him. His voice was calm—too calm, as if nothing had happened between them. She couldn’t hold back her question.
“Why did you come looking for me again?” she asked. “Didn’t we agree that after one month, if it still didn’t work out, we’d stop?”
Something twitched in his jaw; his nerves were clearly on edge. But he drew in a deep breath and said, “Eat first. We’ll talk after.”
Nan Xu didn’t move. She just wanted to get this over with quickly—otherwise, she had a feeling that tonight, Xie Hejing might truly lose control.
Her gaze flicked to the box by the door. She still didn’t know what was inside.
“Nan Xu,” he called again, his tone firmer. “Come eat. Otherwise, I won’t say a word about what you want to know.”
Nan Xu frowned but reluctantly obeyed, sitting on the edge of the sofa, keeping a cautious distance from him. Her heart pounded as she picked at her food.
But under his unrelenting stare, and with her mind in turmoil, she couldn’t eat much. Soon she put her chopsticks down and wiped her mouth.
“You can talk now,” she said quietly.
“You want to leave me?” Xie Hejing asked bluntly.
Nan Xu stayed silent.
“So you’re not going back home,” he continued, his voice darkening. “You’re not even going back to Zhi’an. Is that it?”
“Yes.” The single word slipped out softly—but it was exactly the one he least wanted to hear.
In an instant, he lunged forward, trapping her against the sofa, his tone fierce and demanding.
“Nan Xu, didn’t you promise me last time that you’d only care about me?”
Nan Xu froze.
Out of everything she’d said, that was what he remembered? Not the part where she said she didn’t want to see him again?
Besides, that promise had been made in desperation—just to calm him down at the time.
“I…” Nan Xu blinked rapidly, unable to find her next words.
“You lied to me?” he pressed, frowning.
Nan Xu turned her head away.
Xie Hejing’s hand shot out, gripping her chin and forcing her to face him. His voice dropped, low and cold.
“Nan Xu, I’ll give you one last chance. Say it—tell me you didn’t lie. Tell me you want to be with me. Tell me you’ll only care about me.”
Nan Xu could see Xie Hejing’s eyes up close—dark, sharp, and deeply unsettling, with a kind of intensity that could pierce straight through her.
Her lips trembled slightly, but her voice remained firm. “You already know the answer. Why do you still need to ask?”
“I want to hear you say it,” Xie Hejing said, his voice low and hoarse. For once, there was a faint tremor in his tone.
His gaze was fierce, yet beneath it hid a kind of desperate fear. “Tell me… are you really going to leave me?”
Loose strands of hair fell over Nan Xu’s flushed eyes. She held her breath, realizing she had underestimated just how deep Xie Hejing’s obsession with her.
But the painful grip on her wrist reminded her—she couldn’t afford to soften. This man was dangerous.
“We’re just… going our separate ways,” she said quietly. “It’s not about abandoning anyone.”
“Heh…”
Xie Hejing gave a short, bitter laugh. No matter how they twisted and turned, it had all come to this.
He stood up, reached into his bag, and pulled something out, holding it out to her. “Look. I brought you something.”
It was the gold-thread bracelet he’d been wanting to make for her—four days of work, finally completed.
The translation for the full dialogue is:
Nan Xu shivered all over, and cried out in alarm: “You broke your promise?”
“No,” he replied calmly. “I only said I’d drop it, I didn’t say I would let go.”
“!!!”
Nan Xu froze, clearly not expecting that response.
She scrambled to her feet, trying to run, but Xie Hejing caught her easily with one arm and lifted her off the ground, carrying her deeper into the room.
She kicked and struggled, but there was no escaping his grip.
The hotel bed didn’t have a headboard, so Xie Hejing had to tie her hands behind her back instead. Seeing the fear in her eyes, he pressed a kiss against her skin and said in a low, commanding tone, “Nan Xu, don’t be afraid of me.”
Having learned his lesson from last time, he tied the knots more tightly this time. Nan Xu struggled for a long while but couldn’t get free. The frustration made her head pound.
“Xie Hejing,” she said quickly, desperate to think of something, “my hands hurt.” Her voice came out small, almost pitiful.
He hesitated—her tone always got to him—but he knew that the moment he loosened his grip, she’d run far away.
So instead, he leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Be good. It’ll stop hurting soon.”
Then he walked over to the door, picked up the box of liquor, and tore it open. Without hesitation, he grabbed a bottle, twisted off the cap, and began drinking straight from it.
Nan Xu’s eyes widened in shock. She had never seen anyone drink like that—with such violence, such raw, reckless abandon.
One bottle after another, the crash of glass against glass rang harshly in her ears.
The veins on the back of his hand stood out, his grip so tight it seemed like he might shatter the bottle. He tilted his head back, pouring the burning liquor down his throat without pause.
The liquor was strong, but unlike before, he could actually taste it now—bitter and acrid.
Unable to stand it any longer, Nan Xu shouted, “Brother—please, stop drinking!”
The moment the words left her mouth, Xie Hejing actually stopped.
He walked toward her slowly, eyes fixed on the girl he had wanted since their school days.
Why did she always want to leave him?
When he restrained himself, she came closer. When he reached out, she pushed him away.
Nan Xu was kneeling on the bed, and he crouched in front of her, tilting her chin upward. “Didn’t you say you wanted to see what I look like drunk?” he said with a faint, dangerous smile. “Don’t worry—you’ll see soon enough.”
Nan Xu’s heart pounded wildly. When had she ever said that?
If he kept drinking like this, once he lost control, things could get even worse.
“Please don’t drink anymore,” she pleaded softly. “I don’t want to see that. Brother, stop… please stop…”
But this persuasion not only didn’t work, but instead wrapped around Xie Hejing’s heart like a poisonous web, causing a sharp, gripping pain.
He picked up another bottle of wine: “Shall we get drunk together?”
Although it was a question, Xie Hejing didn’t give Nan Xu any chance to resist. He took a sip of wine and then went to kiss Nan Xu.
Even with Nan Xu’s strong resistance, even with the wine spilling from between their lips and teeth, even with Nan Xu biting Xie Hejing hard, drawing blood, Xie Hejing still “fed” her, tirelessly enjoying it.
If one bottle wasn’t enough to get drunk, they’d have a few more.
After three bottles of wine, even though a large amount of it went into Xie Hejing’s stomach and Nan Xu barely drank any, she still looked intoxicated.
Xie Hejing curled his lips in satisfaction. He couldn’t force any more; if he did, Nan Xu would be completely drunk and would forget what happened tonight.
He wanted her to remember it thoroughly.
Xie Hejing sat alone drinking on the side. Half an hour later, he finally felt drunk.
His body swayed, but his mind was still clear.
Nan Xu was lying on the bed now, already feeling drowsy, and would soon fall into a deep sleep.
Xie Hejing gave a laugh. The fact that she could still fall asleep at this moment showed how incredibly unconcerned she was.
He reached out and pulled her up.
“Nan Xu, it’s about to begin,” he bent down to kiss the corner of her eye, “Don’t sleep.”
Nan Xu opened her blurry eyes, her gaze filled with Xie Hejing. Hearing his intoxicated voice for the first time, Nan Xu’s heart rate skyrocketed.
She struggled to calm herself down, coaxing him in a soft voice: “Xie Hejing, brother, let go of me, I…”
But Xie Hejing didn’t give her a chance to say more, kissing her directly on the lips and pressing her down onto the bed.
“I don’t want to hear you talk, you’re a liar, you only lie to me.”
Lying to him, not even knowing if she could keep up the lie for a lifetime—she was just a liar without any credibility.
Evidently, his trust in her was already at a critical low. Nan Xu felt like crying but couldn’t, as Xie Hejing stripped off her clothes one by one.
She completely panicked: “Let go of me, I won’t lie to you. I… I’ll go back with you.”
She struggled to pull at the ropes, but this time Xie Hejing was determined to keep her bound. Even if Nan Xu used all her strength, she would only feel the pain of the ropes constricting her.
Xie Hejing continued his movements, his fingertips touching Nan Xu’s waist and then moving downward.
Nan Xu gasped for breath: “Calm down. Can’t we talk things through properly?”
He slightly curved his lips. Being drunk didn’t feel bad; Nan Xu was even resorting to coaxing him in every possible way.
With a month of experience, he knew Nan Xu’s body intimately, easily arousing her desire.
Nan Xu had thin skin, and a layer of red would appear on her body with just a light touch from Xie Hejing’s hand.
Xie Hejing’s hand moved from down to up, then reached the focal point, slowly curving his fingertip inward, and then hooking upward.
“Ungh…” Nan Xu trembled all over, instantly breaking out in a sweat.
Xie Hejing greedily inhaled her scent and watched Nan Xu’s aroused expression. He asked: “Calm down? Can you calm down?”
“I can,” Nan Xu said through gritted teeth.
A fire ignited within her, burning ever hotter with the friction from Xie Hejing’s hand.
Tears welled up in her eyes instantly, but she still persisted.
“I can.”
Even like this, seeing Nan Xu still trying to endure, Xie Hejing completely lost his temper.
“Nan Xu, you clearly have desire for me too, so why are you resisting?”
“Kiss me… Nan Xu, it will relieve it. All the feelings you have right now will be relieved, as long as you’re willing to kiss me.”
He grasped the buttons on his shirt and then suddenly tore it, accompanied by the sound of fabric ripping. The next second was the soft click of a belt buckle being opened.
Nan Xu’s heart pounded violently, fast and uneven.
There were still a few faint scars on his body; they weren’t visible from a distance, but now they were clearly presented right before Nan Xu’s eyes.
Heat radiated from him. His skin rose and fell dramatically with his breathing, his whole body overflowing with the tension of arousal.
A surge of horror flashed in Nan Xu’s eyes. She quickly closed them, but the scene she had just witnessed was irrepressibly playing out in her mind.
How could Xie Hejing have taken everything off!
The heat on her body, compounded by the shock before her eyes, made Nan Xu feel even more miserable.
She whimpered, saying: “Brother, can you please not be like this?” Her throat was so dry that it took effort to utter every single word.
“Heh…” Xie Hejing’s emotions surged. He let out a cold laugh, “You really know how to pick a time, calling me ‘brother’ now.”
Suddenly, the mattress sank and then quickly rebounded. Nan Xu knew Xie Hejing had gotten off the bed. However, she still didn’t dare to open her eyes and could only slowly shrink towards the inner side of the bed, relying on memory.
A moment later, Xie Hejing returned to the bedside. Two seconds later, Nan Xu clearly heard the sound of a packet being torn open.
Nan Xu’s chest suddenly tightened. Realizing something was wrong, she finally opened her eyes.
Xie Hejing had been staring at her and naturally saw her eyes open. He gave a laugh: “Don’t rush, I’m putting it on.”
Nan Xu just watched him: opening, taking it out, checking the orientation, and then rolling it down.
In the middle of it, she could hear him let out a soft “hiss.”
It was the pain of being tightly constricted and squeezed.
Nan Xu froze completely, her mind briefly blank, her gaze following Xie Hejing’s movements.
Xie Hejing climbed back onto the bed, kneeling. Seeing Nan Xu’s flushed cheeks, he asked: “Do you still want to resist?”
Nan Xu’s lips were pressed into a straight line. She forced out one word: “Yes.”
Xie Hejing completely burst into laughter and said: “Nan Xu, do you know what’s about to happen?”
Being looked at by Xie Hejing like this, and seeing Xie Hejing in this state, Nan Xu was utterly ignited, a never-before-felt, unbearable tingling.
She truly felt she couldn’t hold on any longer. Her body was like a balloon about to explode, every inch of her skin stretched taut.
She was exasperated and didn’t want to admit defeat like this.
“I know, so what?” Nan Xu said stiffly, “Nothing will change. What’s meant to leave will still leave.”
“It’s just, at most, a way to release the tension.”
This sudden shift made Xie Hejing’s expression darken further: “Is that so? Not pretending anymore?”
Didn’t she just say she would return to Zhi’an with him? She was lying to him, after all.
His tone was chilling and indifferent: “Then let’s try. I hope you can still hold out.”
Xie Hejing pulled her legs to his waist, making her wrap them around him, and then leaned in.
Nan Xu’s waist was forced into an arch, and her body, from her legs to her buttocks, rippled, instinctively tensing up.
She continued, her voice mixed with ragged breaths: “Xie Hejing, who do you think you can keep by doing this?”
Xie Hejing gritted his teeth, saying nothing.
He didn’t hear!
He placed his hands on both sides of Nan Xu’s legs, pulling her a little closer towards him.
“Ungh…” Tears welled up at the corners of Nan Xu’s eyes, “Do you think you can make me addicted to you this way? Impossible.”
Xie Hejing’s muscles tensed all over his body.
He didn’t hear!
He narrowed his eyes, lifted himself, and then aimed. Xie Hejing’s hands were even trembling slightly.
The heat drew near. Nan Xu clenched her fists: “Are you really trying to make me love your body instead of you as a person?”
Xie Hejing gripped Nan Xu’s legs forcefully.
He didn’t hear!!!
Xie Hejing told himself over and over again in his mind.
He didn’t hear!
He didn’t hear…
Slowly making contact, he was then blocked. A low growl escaped Xie Hejing’s throat. Nan Xu gasped in pain, unable to stop herself from twisting, but she was fiercely constrained by Xie Hejing’s large hand.
“Xie Hejing, I just…” Nan Xu used all her strength to speak loudly, but before she could finish, Xie Hejing interrupted her.
He held her firmly and shouted: “Enough.”
He pulled Nan Xu up, forcing her to look him in the eye. Tear drops still clung to her wet eyelashes, meeting Xie Hejing’s scorching gaze.
Nan Xu swallowed hard.
Xie Hejing placed a hand on the back of her neck: “You were the one who provoked me in the beginning. You were the one who said you liked me. You were the one who…”
Xie Hejing stopped, his Adam’s apple bobbing frantically. After a moment, he asked her: “And now you’re going to abandon me?”
Nan Xu’s throat was successfully blocked. It took a long time before she said: “But… I’m scared.”
“Would you have the heart to let me be afraid?”
“Jiaojiao, I miss you so much… come home with me,” he lowered his gaze, “From the time we were in school until now, I have always wanted to have a home with you.”
He wasn’t lying. He truly had always wanted to have a home that belonged just to the two of them.
She knew Xie Hejing was susceptible to her pitiful tone, and Xie Hejing knew she was soft-hearted.
The two confronted each other in silence like this.
Finally, Nan Xu closed her eyes first…
After a while, Xie Hejing’s hand slipped down to her waist, pulling off the ropes on Nan Xu’s wrists. He interlaced his fingers with hers in one hand and held her waist with the other.
He lowered his gaze and slowly moved forward.
Nan Xu’s back arched, cold sweat streaming down as her freed hand gripped Xie Hejing’s arm, trying to stop him from moving. But her fragmented whimpers swallowed every word she wanted to say. Tilting her head back, Nan Xu struggled to breathe.
The curve from her neck to her shoulder line was smooth and undulating. Seeing this, Xie Hejing kissed her neck, then gradually pushed forward.
Nan Xu’s breath hitched, and she finally couldn’t hold back a cry.
“Xie Hejing, it hurts…”