Chapter 59 — Look carefully at what we’re doing
“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”
Xie Hejing flicked Nan Xu’s forehead lightly, but she still hadn’t recovered.
She couldn’t believe her luck, how could she have drawn such an outrageous card right from the start?
He raised his eyes lazily, spinning the card between his fingers without interrupting her as she tried to process what had just happened.
The rest of the cards lay scattered across the table. Xie Hejing, now intrigued, sat down and began looking through them one by one.
Every now and then, he’d come across something amusing and couldn’t help but chuckle, glancing at Nan Xu as he did. A few cards he even mentally noted down, planning to try them out with her later.
Three minutes passed, and Nan Xu still hadn’t moved.
After putting the cards away and sealing them back in the bag, Xie Hejing called out, “Come here, I’ll take off your bell.”
That finally snapped Nan Xu out of her daze; her frozen mind started working again.
“I’m coming,” she said stiffly, the words squeezed out through clenched teeth.
Xie Hejing propped his head lazily on one hand, legs crossed, smiling as always.
“Why so slow? Don’t want it off? Perfect then—”
Before he could finish, Nan Xu had already walked up to him, afraid he might change his mind. She spoke quickly, straight to the point: “Take it off.”
But Xie Hejing didn’t move. He kept smiling at her, eyes glinting.
“Why aren’t you?” Nan Xu asked.
“Do you still remember what was written on that card?” he said, pointing to the only one he’d left on the table. “Want to take another look?”
“No need.”
Nan Xu snapped, her voice quick and sharp. The image from that card was already burned into her mind the instant she saw it.
She was still breathing hard—she had never imagined such a card could exist, let alone contain that.
Xie Hejing’s gaze drifted toward the bell again, his tone thick with temptation.
“I could bite through the string with my teeth. It won’t hurt you.”
“But, Nan Xu… I want to taste the bell.”
“It’s rung three times already, it must be full of sweetness.” He paused for a moment, then added with a faint smile, “Maybe I should tie one on you every day…”
That way, he could always have that sweetness. As he spoke, he was already thinking about where he’d bought it.
The more he talked, the further he drifted off track, until his sudden silence made Nan Xu’s heart jolt.
“Stop talking,” she said, placing her hand on his head. “And stop thinking, too.”
The gesture made him laugh, unable to hold it in. “So bossy. You can tell what I’m thinking now? I can’t even think?”
“Well… it’s obviously nothing normal,” Nan Xu muttered. “Who knows what strange, crazy idea you’ll come up with next.”
“Yes,” he admitted easily. “Crazy. But you’re being vague.”
“Do you know what I was just thinking?”
“I was thinking… maybe you should wear that bell every time you come home. Each time it rings, you change it for a new one, and I’ll make sure each one carries that sweetness.”
“Or maybe the taste outside isn’t strong enough. What if I put the bell inside? But that might hurt you… so maybe I could use something else instead.”
“And there’s another way. What if I just replaced the bell altogether, and tasted it myself every day…”
“Enough,” Nan Xu quickly cut him off, forcing herself to calm down. She had never met anyone so addicted to these things.
“Can’t you control yourself a little?”
Control?!
Xie Hejing sneered twice, his hand fiddling with the bell, reminding her, “Nan Xu, if I hadn’t been controlling myself, you probably wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed right now.”
Such blunt and suggestive words left Nan Xu momentarily speechless. She stamped her foot in frustration.
“Do you really like that… that smell? Are you that addicted?”
Xie Hejing raised an eyebrow but shook his head. “It’s not the smell I like. I like you, so I like your smell.”
“Nan Xu, I’m addicted to you.”
He once thought he had weaned himself off Nan Xu, maintaining stability for several years. But the more he suppressed it, the faster the craving returned the moment they met.
Xie Hejing admitted he had a pathological desire for Nan Xu—a craving for every wisp of her breath, every glance to belong only to him. The name Nan Xu had long penetrated his bones, eating away at his heart.
Love is an uncontrollable addiction, and his addiction had now flared up beyond control.
He flicked the bell again with his fingertip, then looked down at his palm with satisfaction. “This is my fix.”
“Let’s go, back to the room. I think if we started here, you’d be too shy to stay even in the living room, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. We’ll go to my room.”
Nan Xu remained standing, but Xie Hejing’s hand tightened around her waist, pulling her forward without resistance. “If you don’t like that, we can go to your room instead.”
Xie Hejing always knew how to precisely pinpoint Nan Xu’s weakness, and her steps became much more cooperative.
The door opened with a click, and as the switch was pressed, the room quickly lit up.
Xie Hejing let go, walked to the bed, casually rolled the duvet into a bundle, piling it against the headboard, and then sprawled out onto the bed himself.
His actions were as natural as resting normally. When Nan Xu remained motionless for a while, Xie Hejing, staring at the ceiling, said, “Do I need to tell you the second half of ‘I lay down’?”
“No need.”
Nan Xu walked forward, each step agonizingly slow, but Xie Hejing didn’t rush her, just waited for her to slowly come closer.
Her love, her desire, should walk towards him.
Every path, no matter how slow, eventually ends. Despite extreme procrastination, Nan Xu finally stood by the bed.
She glanced at Xie Hejing, her face resigned as she bent her legs and knelt onto the bed.
After several moments of hesitation, Nan Xu still lacked the courage to move forward. She dug her fingernails into her palms until it was agonizingly painful, then gritted her teeth and tried to move her leg, but quickly pulled it back.
She couldn’t overcome the hurdle in her mind, and her voice was edged with a sob, “I can’t.”
Xie Hejing inhaled, suppressing his intense craving, and volunteered, “I’ll cover my eyes, Nan Xu. All you have to do is sit.”
Xie Hejing offered only minimal concessions; no matter what, he wouldn’t let Nan Xu cancel.
After saying this, he got up to grab a random towel, but then suddenly remembered something. Xie Hejing put down the towel and pulled out the tie from the closet—the one Nan Xu had used to cover his eyes last time.
He smoothly returned to the bed and covered his eyes with the tie, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Nan Xu, the longer you drag this out, the more I’ll want.”
Nan Xu knew Xie Hejing was telling the truth.
She inhaled sharply, slowly moved her legs forward, stood up, and straddled Xie Hejing.
Her heart felt like it was about to burst; Nan Xu thought she must be crazy too. If it were before, no, even a month ago, she wouldn’t have believed she would do this.
She frowned, unable to take the next step no matter how hard she tried.
Xie Hejing could sense Nan Xu’s hesitation and see her inner struggle. He tried to reassure her. “Nan Xu, this is normal between lovers, isn’t it? Don’t be scared, don’t be nervous.”
“Be good, baby. Just try it—you might feel something… unexpected.”
“Wait—”
His words were abruptly cut off when something cold and hard covered his mouth.
Above it was warmth—and a faint, sweet scent.
His hand instinctively grabbed the sheet, his entire body trembling as a gentle yet intoxicating sweetness invaded his mouth and nose within seconds.
He felt as if he were being torn apart, the heat beneath his blindfold blazing dangerously.
Just as he imagined—the taste of the bell was wonderful. So wonderful that he didn’t want to swallow, only to keep that sweetness in his mouth forever, to slowly savor and bite down on it.
He never realized how quickly time could slip away. The moment he wanted more, to chase that sweetness again, it was already gone.
He yanked off his tie. His eyes were still burning with desire, barely restrained, almost breaking free.
Then he saw Nan Xu—kneeling at the edge of the bed, her face flushed red. Her fingertips dug into her legs so hard it seemed she might draw blood.
In that fleeting instant just now, Nan Xu had truly felt what Xie Hejing meant by “something unexpected.”
But at the same time, she felt like a stranger to herself—so strange that it frightened her.
A shock of panic ran through Xie Hejing’s heart. He quickly took her hands, saw the tears welling in her eyes, and pulled her into his arms, soothing her softly.
“Baby, don’t blame yourself. Don’t hurt yourself.”
Nan Xu could treat him however she wanted—he didn’t care—but what terrified Xie Hejing was the thought that she might actually hurt herself.
He cursed himself for pushing her too far. After holding back for so long, couldn’t he have endured just a few more days?
“You can pinch me, hit me, curse me—all of it’s fine. It’s all because of me. I’m the one who tempted you. I’m the one who—”
“Brother… will I go crazy too?”
Nan Xu asked uncertainly, her voice trembling as she sought an answer from him. But deep down, she already knew—everything that had just happened between them felt insane to her, shattering every bit of restraint she once had.
“…”
For the first time, Xie Hejing fell silent in deep thought.
He didn’t answer right away. He was thinking—was Nan Xu afraid of becoming like him? Did she hate his twisted nature so much that she feared catching it herself?
“Brother, will I?” Nan Xu asked again.
She recalled that moment—his breath brushing against her, the tingling sensation that almost took her breath away. Yet after the sobs came… a strange hint of pleasure.
Nan Xu truly thought she must have gone mad. She looked at Xie Hejing’s lips, then his eyes and brows—features so familiar to her.
Just like the brother in her memories.
The brother in her heart.
Exactly the same.
A strange sense of relief rose in her chest—thankfully, he was only the brother in her heart, not one bound to her by blood.
Nan Xu’s heart gave a painful throb.
The brother in her heart.
She had fallen in love with the brother in her heart.
And, amidst this madness, there were signs of her sinking into it.
This thought made Nan Xu’s hand tremble in Xie Hejing’s grasp. She hadn’t thought about this in detail before, but now she realized: to what extent did it contain an element of taboo?
Xie Hejing tightened his grip on her hand, his voice regaining its composure: “You won’t, Nan Xu, you won’t go crazy. All your feelings are just being coaxed out by me; you are still you.”
In this moment, Xie Hejing’s feelings were complicated. He simultaneously hoped Nan Xu would be obsessed with him, addicted to him, and only have him in her heart, yet he was also worried that she might be afraid of that side of herself.
“It’s my fault,” Xie Hejing said, lowering his eyes.
Nan Xu shook her head: “No, I said from the beginning that I wanted to confirm something.”
“…Sexual desire.”
Two seconds later, her voice reappeared.
“I think,” Nan Xu struggled to say, finally breaking through her inhibition, “I think I might have developed a little for you.”
From sharp pain, stagnation, silence, flutter, heat, to ecstasy, Xie Hejing’s heart went through this entire process in a very short time.
He stared at Nan Xu, swallowed, and could barely believe his ears.
“Say that again.”
Nan Xu looked away: “No. If you didn’t hear it, then forget it.”
She tried to get up, but there was no way Xie Hejing would let her go now. He scooped her back into his arms. “Good girl, say it again, okay?”
“No,” Nan Xu turned her head away petulantly.
Xie Hejing was both frustrated and amused. He eagerly pressed, “Is it because of just now? Or is it because of something else?”
If it was because of that thing just now, he would make sure to try it every day.
Nan Xu answered honestly: “I don’t know, maybe.”
Desire surged and flickered in Xie Hejing’s eyes. He lifted her into his arms and started walking out.
“What are you doing?” Nan Xu panicked. He hadn’t untied the bell yet! This position was extremely stimulating for her.
What Nan Xu didn’t expect was that Xie Hejing carried her into the walk-in closet.
Looking at the racks full of clothes, Nan Xu asked, “Do you want to change clothes?”
But most of the clothes in here were hers.
Xie Hejing curled his lips. He pressed a button on the side, and a huge, clear mirror rotated out from behind the closet.
Nan Xu had changed clothes here countless times but had never noticed that a large mirror could rotate out.
She glanced at the mirror, saw her current outfit, and her gaze dropped to where the bell was…
Nan Xu’s face flushed hot, and she turned around, hiding her face in Xie Hejing’s chest. “Quickly turn that mirror back.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed wildly. Xie Hejing saw his completely undisguised desire reflected in the mirror, and a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. “This way, we can see clearly.”
Nan Xu wanted to ask what he intended to see clearly, but Xie Hejing’s actions had already given her the answer.
He pressed down on Nan Xu’s shoulders, turned her around, and then walked in front of her, slowly kneeling down.
“Nan Xu, I’m going to make sure you remember tonight. So, when I start, stare into the mirror, don’t look away for a moment.”
Xie Hejing flicked the bell again, and then pressed his lips against her.
Staring blankly at the shocking scene in the mirror, Nan Xu’s face could barely register any expression other than surprise and astonishment.
She swallowed.
“Ding-a-ling!”
That familiar sound rang out again.
Xie Hejing’s gaze deepened. He paused for a moment, leaned back slightly, then looked up at Nan Xu. “Nan Xu, did you see clearly? What are we doing in the mirror?”
“Do you remember it? It’s not enough for your mind to remember, your body has to, too.”
Nan Xu lowered her head. She couldn’t ignore the dampness on Xie Hejing’s lips. It was as if something in her mind snapped.
“We… you…”
She could barely string a sentence together.
“This time it’s like this. Next time in front of the mirror, we’ll change to a different position. You can look forward to that, Nan Xu.”
Xie Hejing resumed what he had been doing, focused and intent, as if pouring all his desire into his lips.
After a long while, Nan Xu’s legs gave out. Her body went limp, and she completely collapsed into his arms, unable to stand.
Effortlessly, Xie Hejing held her, walked to the mirror, rested his chin on her shoulder, and cupped the back of her neck to make her see their reflection.
Two figures pressed close together—her disheveled hair clinging to her cheeks, her glistening eyes meeting Xie Hejing’s gaze in the mirror, filled with emotion.
Nan Xu trembled and tried to look away.
“Look at us. Don’t hide.”
He held her chin with one hand, and with the fingertips of the other, he pointed to the center of the mirror, indicating the cream he hadn’t finished yet, before pulling her into his embrace.
“Do you feel it?”
Nan Xu blushed and panicked, weakly pushing against him.
Xie Hejing only smiled, caught her hand, and pressed it against himself.
“Don’t let go… just like that.”
He buried his face in her neck, his breath heavy and restrained.
Even through the fabric between them, the heat and tension made Nan Xu’s fingertips tremble.
Her hands were soft and weak, moving only as he guided them.
And facing the mirror, Xie Hejing could easily tell whenever she tried to avert her gaze.
Whenever she did, he’d tighten his grip on her hand, forcing her to look straight at their reflection—at every motion, every expression.
The combination of that unavoidable sight and the sensation against her skin was an overwhelming double stimulus.
Suddenly, a low groan escaped Xie Hejing’s throat, followed by a deep exhale that brushed warm against Nan Xu’s skin.
The sound made her back tingle all over.
Then he bent down and whispered, “Next time we stand before the mirror… these will definitely meet.”