Chapter 57 — I’ll change your clothes myself.
The car stopped downstairs, and as usual, Xie Hejing held Nan Xu’s hand and led her toward the building.
While they waited for the elevator, Nan Xu watched the numbers climb closer and closer, a thin layer of sweat forming in her palm.
Sensing it, Xie Hejing tightened his fingers around hers, pulling her a little closer.
“Nervous?” he asked.
Nan Xu looked away without answering. Instead, she asked softly, “What are you going to do later?”
She couldn’t imagine what kind of “punishment” Xie Hejing meant.
She knew he would never hurt her—but maybe that was exactly why she was so uneasy. Whatever he had in mind might be something she couldn’t handle.
Her gaze flicked toward the bag in his hand, and she suddenly asked, “When did you buy all that?”
“I passed by a shop on my way back and went in for a look. Thought some of the things were nice—you might look good in them,” Xie Hejing replied calmly, his tone so composed that there wasn’t the slightest hint of embarrassment.
Just hearing how casually he said it made Nan Xu’s face burn.
She stole another glance at the bag, recalling that she’d seen something that looked like… clothing.
No, it couldn’t really be called clothing.
“You mean…” Nan Xu swallowed hard, trying to voice her suspicion, “you want me to wear what’s in that bag later?”
“They’ve been washed,” Xie Hejing said matter-of-factly. “There’s not much fabric, so they dried quickly. You don’t need to worry.”
Not much fabric?!
Nan Xu’s eyes widened.
How could he say something like that so casually?
Just then, the elevator arrived with a soft “ding.” The doors slowly opened. It was empty inside, and a blast of cold air rushed out, making Nan Xu shiver.
Grinding her teeth, she asked, “And what if I refuse to wear it?”
Still holding her hand, Xie Hejing led her in and chuckled. “That’s what I’ve been dreaming of.”
Dreaming of?
Nan Xu blinked in confusion. A moment ago, he’d been talking about the clothes being washed—and now this?
Then, after replaying her own words in her head, realization hit.
She had said not wearing it.
When she turned, Xie Hejing was already looking at her with an amused, assessing gaze—as if he’d completely accepted her declaration.
Nan Xu glared at him. “Keep dreaming.”
He wasn’t the least bit annoyed. Instead, he smiled. “Then I suppose you will wear it.”
Nan Xu: “…”
The elevator doors opened again, and the moment the apartment door clicked shut behind them—
In the blink of an eye, Xie Hejing had cornered her against the wall.
“W–what are you doing?!” Nan Xu stammered, still trying to catch up.
His breathing was uneven now as he brushed his lips against her neck. “Thinking about how you’d look without it.”
God only knew how badly he’d wanted to drag her straight into the bedroom the moment she’d said those words—to tear her clothes away and admire every curve of her body.
“Why do you always say things like that?” Nan Xu muttered, her face burning all over again.
“What else should I say then?” Xie Hejing murmured, pausing to look at her. His dark eyes held her still. “That I want to marry you? Would you say yes?”
Nan Xu froze under his gaze. “I—It hasn’t even been a month yet. Isn’t it too early to talk about this?”
Xie Hejing’s expression darkened for a moment, but he quickly recovered.
He straightened up, nodded slightly, and said, “You’re right. There’s still a week left. So let’s not waste time.”
He reached for the bag and pulled out that piece of black “clothing.”
“Change.”
Holding the pitiful scraps of fabric in her hands, Nan Xu’s face tensed in disbelief. The material was so light it felt like a single breath could blow it away.
She frowned and protested, “How am I supposed to wear this?”
It was barely enough to cover anything.
“Don’t know how?” Xie Hejing lifted his chin slightly. “I’ll help you.”
He really meant it—he started to reach for it.
Nan Xu quickly tightened her grip and stepped back, dodging his hand. “That’s not what I meant! I mean… there’s too little fabric. How is anyone supposed to wear this?”
Leaning casually against the wall, Xie Hejing crossed his arms, amusement flickering across his face. “You do have a choice—wear it, or don’t.”
That wasn’t a choice at all—just two burning pits of fire. The only difference was which one would scorch her slower.
Within half a minute, Nan Xu made her decision. “I’ll wear it.”
At least that way, there’d be something to cover her up.
She turned to head toward her room with the fabric in hand, but Xie Hejing reached out and stopped her.
Puzzled, she asked, “What? Didn’t you just tell me to change?”
The corners of his lips lifted into a lazy, roguish smirk. “I changed my mind.”
Nan Xu’s heart leapt in relief, thinking he was letting her off—until he added, “I’ll help you change,” and after a brief pause, “Right here.”
“You—” Nan Xu’s lips parted, at a loss for words. “You’re going to help me change? You…”
She could hardly describe the feeling. The few times he had touched her before, she had at least been able to hide her face. But now he wanted to dress her himself—in that.
And as if that weren’t enough to shake her, his next words made her pulse pound in her temples.
“Mm, right here in the entryway.”
“We haven’t tried the living room yet, or the kitchen… or the bathroom. Tomorrow, I’ll take you to shower. Or maybe your bedroom—how did it feel last night? How about another round on your bed?”
“Will that make you think of me in your sleep? Or keep you awake? Nan Xu, will you crave that feeling—go crazy over it?”
“Will you crave me? The same way I crave you?”
A hint of regret crossed Xie Hejing’s face. One month was too short—but maybe that was fine.
After a month, no matter what, he’d make sure she stayed by his side. Completely.
Nan Xu took a step back until her heel hit the door. The small sound snapped her back to reality. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest.
“What feeling?”
“The feeling on my tongue,” Xie Hejing said, eyes half-lidded, the corner of his mouth curling in a faint, dangerous smile. His voice was both feverish and unhinged.
Nan Xu’s breath stopped altogether. She knew—he wasn’t joking. He meant every word, and he would do it.
She turned her gaze aside. “No… no, I wouldn’t.” She knew that if she said otherwise, if she admitted even a little, Xie Hejing would take it as encouragement—dragging her back into that maddening cycle again and again.
If that ever happened, she’d collapse completely under him one day.
The coldness in Xie Hejing’s eyes gradually intensified. He stared intently at Nan Xu, trying to find any trace of a lie on her face, but there was absolutely none. She had denied him so calmly and resolutely.
His unwillingness reached its peak at that moment, the veins on Xie Hejing’s arms bulged, and then he suddenly let out two bursts of laughter.
“It doesn’t matter. There are many more positions, many more moves. We’ll find the one you’re obsessed with.”
Xie Hejing plucked the few pieces of fabric connected by a string from Nan Xu’s palm.
“Now, start changing.”
“I’ll undress you.”
To be honest, Nan Xu had felt okay just moments ago, but now she was starting to feel afraid.
She could sense that the thread of Xie Hejing’s rationality was taut and burning.
And the reality was exactly as Nan Xu perceived it.
For a moment, Xie Hejing genuinely considered letting Nan Xu feel what it was like to be beneath him right now.
She would struggle, cry out, and gasp; and the more she did, the more heightened Xie Hejing’s emotions would become.
But it wasn’t the right time yet; she would flee, she would avoid him, she would hate him.
What finally snapped the thread of Xie Hejing’s rationality was a single, short sentence from Nan Xu.
“Brother, I’m not changing,” she was terribly frightened, but still hoped they could just stop at this moment and not go any further. She worried Xie Hejing would completely lose control. “Should we… maybe, just forget it.”
In fact, dark and twisted thoughts had long been rooted in Xie Hejing’s heart.
He desired Nan Xu, he wanted her completely, from body to soul, he wanted it all.
And right now, he was trying to win her heart, but Nan Xu’s last sentence instantly made him feel that his effort to win her heart had utterly failed.
He gripped Nan Xu’s neck and lunged forward. Nan Xu was forced tightly against the door, her eyes filled with terror, breathing with extreme difficulty.
“Nan Xu, what did you say? Say it again!”
Even as cold sweat broke out on her forehead, Nan Xu still managed to say, “I said, let’s just forget it…”
“Shut up.” Xie Hejing shouted, cutting her off, his grip on her grew tighter, and with a cold, hard expression, he reached out and tore Nan Xu’s clothes open.
“Cough, cough…” Nan Xu choked out a few coughs. Xie Hejing abruptly eased his grip, deliberately avoiding the look of panic in Nan Xu’s eyes.
Xie Hejing bit his lip hard until blood spilled from between them again. With a chilling gaze, he continued to unfasten and pull aside Nan Xu’s inner wear.
“Brother, Xie Hejing…” Nan Xu tried to appeal to his reason.
He shouldn’t be such a lunatic; he used to seem so bright and cheerful.
But Nan Xu’s fragmented words had no effect.
His movements were relentless, his breathing heavy and ragged.
Nan Xu was completely powerless to resist, and soon a wave of coldness washed over her, making her skin tremble.
But the next moment, a wet sensation grazed her, and a delicate yet numbing feeling flooded Nan Xu’s mind.
Nan Xu tried to raise her hands to block him, but Xie Hejing quickly pinned them behind her back.
“Nan Xu, don’t reject me, don’t reject me. Not for this one week, at least.”
This one week was his final opportunity to win her heart; he wouldn’t admit defeat until the very last moment.
Her outer garment was undone, and her inner wear lay loosely crumpled on top. Nan Xu’s mind was a mess, and she was unable to respond to Xie Hejing’s words.
At this moment, she had to admit that Xie Hejing was indeed such a lunatic, only he had been cautious and disguised it in front of her before.
Nan Xu’s persistent lack of response caused Xie Hejing to intensify the pressure with his mouth, as he picked up that point and ground his lips and teeth against it.
“Hss…”
The cold mixed with pain, and Nan Xu’s hands trembled where Xie Hejing held her down.
He was terrifying.
Hearing her voice, Xie Hejing kept his head lowered and continued. Nan Xu’s body was tense, but there was nowhere left to retreat—she could only endure it.
“Nan Xu, don’t reject me.”
“Even if you see the madness in me, don’t run from me. Don’t leave me. Nan Xu, love me.”
He knew how timid she was, had always known how much she feared this dark, twisted side of him—how she couldn’t bear the weight of his desire.
But Xie Hejing still wanted to hear the word “love” from her lips.
“Nan Xu, say you love me. Say it!”
When he heard nothing, he finally raised his head—and saw confusion in her eyes, even regret.
Her slow thoughts finally caught up. She realized she had truly provoked someone dangerously unstable.
That flicker of regret in her eyes made Xie Hejing’s anger flare. He grabbed her by the throat again and shouted, “Say it. Say you love me!”
Don’t provoke him anymore. Don’t let him see her regret, or her fear.
Because once he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself—he’d lose control, let all his emotions explode, listen to her gasp beneath him, and completely possess her.
But he wanted to win her heart first, so she had to stop provoking him.
Nan Xu bit her lip. What scared her most wasn’t just Xie Hejing’s madness—it was the way he made her feel utterly powerless, completely under his control.
She wanted to get away from the chaos he brought into her calm life.
Yet, when he spoke just now, all she could think of was the kindness he’d shown her—the warmth that had been undeniably real.
Her lips trembled. Tears spilled uncontrollably from the corners of her eyes, one after another, falling onto the back of Xie Hejing’s hand.
His hand began to shake violently. He lowered his head against her shoulder, his voice breaking: “Nan Xu, say you love me. Please… say it.”
Nan Xu’s eyelashes quivered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Xie Hejing looked so pitiful. Why did he have to beg for love like this? It made her feel cruel—she wasn’t someone who could bear to hurt others like this.
But she had lived a quiet, sheltered life. Apart from her family’s bankruptcy, she had always been protected.
She had never encountered emotions this fierce, this suffocating—ones that threatened to consume her whole.
She was pitiful too. Because even though she feared this side of Xie Hejing, she still loved him—she truly did.
Could that love overcome her fear?
She couldn’t stop wondering.
Could it?
She didn’t know.
All she knew was—there was one week left.
Xie Hejing wanted to win her heart, and she needed to test hers.
She had to try to face these emotions, instead of running away. Even if she couldn’t accept them in the end…
Xie Hejing had promised to keep his word. When the time came, they’d part—just as they’d agreed.
“Xie Hejing…” Nan Xu finally spoke.
Her voice was hoarse, like gravel scraping against stone.
Xie Hejing didn’t move, still resting against her shoulder, but her sudden words made his heart tighten.
He was afraid that if he heard another word from her, the fragile thread of his sanity would finally snap.
He didn’t want her to hate him.
He wanted her to love him.
“I don’t want to hear it…”
It didn’t matter if Nan Xu stayed silent. As long as she didn’t say something that might push him over the edge again, he could restrain himself—he had always been good at restraint.
Her thoughts slowly cleared, and the tears in her eyes began to fade.
“I’m sorry.”
She shouldn’t have been so abrupt just now, shouldn’t have said it was over like that. It wasn’t fair to him.
Xie Hejing froze. He didn’t dare listen any further—because after “I’m sorry,” what usually followed were words that hurt.
“Don’t say it,” he warned in a low voice. “Don’t provoke me.”
But Nan Xu didn’t listen. She sniffed softly and said, “There’s one more thing. Don’t you want to hear it?”
When had she learned to tease like this?
Leaning against her shoulder, Xie Hejing felt torn in a way he’d never experienced. He’d always been able to read Nan Xu, but now—he couldn’t guess at all.
What would she say next?
Was she going to end things and walk away?
Say she hated him?
Or tell him to move away because she was afraid?
He didn’t want to hear any of that.
And yet—he wanted to hear her voice, even if it was all of those things.
“…Go on,” he said.
Nan Xu lowered her eyes. “I’ve never been good at handling emotions, so… I’m sorry.”
His expression dimmed. He didn’t want to hear her apologize.
When he first fell for her, he already knew how slow and hesitant she was when it came to feelings.
“But I’ll think about it seriously,” she continued. “You’re right—we still have a week.”
At that, Xie Hejing’s eyes lit up.
Did that mean she wasn’t planning to end things yet?
So for now, he didn’t need to resort to desperate measures to keep her.
“For the next week,” Nan Xu said softly, “I’ll try… to go along with you. But you can’t make me too… embarrassed.”
Xie Hejing’s heart skipped a beat.
“There’s one more thing,” Nan Xu said, swallowing hard.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I love you.”
“!!!”
He didn’t speak. He just pulled her into his arms—tightly, almost losing control.
“So now,” Nan Xu whispered, “you can take my clothes off.”
Taw’s Note: No… I honestly didn’t know the story would develop like this… I thought it would be all fluffy and cute… oh my… (@_@)