Chapter 52 — Tell me, baby, how do you feel?
Xie Hejing’s short sentence was enough to scare Nan Xu wide awake.
“Don’t.”
If they really met now, tonight would definitely not end there—and Nan Xu didn’t even dare to imagine what would happen next.
Xie Hejing rested his chin on her shoulder, his fingers tapping lazily against her waist, the unhurried rhythm carrying an oppressive weight.
“Don’t want to?” he asked softly. “But you’ll have to face it someday. What will you do then—when you’re afraid?”
She was already terrified.
Nan Xu breathed shallowly, afraid even a louder exhale would trigger his next move.
“I…”
She wanted to refuse again, but Xie Hejing’s slender fingers pinched a small piece of her waist and began to knead it slowly.
The delicate touch made him reluctant to stop—his thumb and forefinger rubbing back and forth, savoring the softness.
The tingling sensation shot straight to Nan Xu’s mind. Her breathing grew heavier, ragged and uneven.
Hearing that sound, Xie Hejing asked in a low voice, “So? Were you about to refuse me again?”
There was a dangerous edge in his tone that Nan Xu couldn’t miss.
She kept her eyes lowered, trying to think of an answer that wouldn’t provoke him.
Then suddenly, the pressure of his fingers increased, and she let out a muffled gasp.
“Nan Xu,” he asked evenly, “why aren’t you answering me?”
If not for the weight pressing against her leg, she might have thought he was perfectly calm.
Nan Xu gritted her teeth. The unbearable ticklish ache at her waist seeped into her chest, making it almost impossible to think, let alone speak.
Even so, she bit her lower lip hard, forcing her thoughts back into focus.
“Then… we’ll talk about it when the time comes.”
She blurted it out in one breath and exhaled shakily afterward.
But her clarity lasted only a moment before his hand grew even bolder.
“When will that be?” Xie Hejing asked again.
Nan Xu turned her eyes away, trying to dodge the question. “I don’t know. Just—not now.”
Xie Hejing’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Alright,” he murmured, his teeth grazing her earlobe. “Then listen to me tonight, okay?”
Even through the fabric, his heat was unmistakable. Nan Xu used every bit of willpower to ignore it.
Her fists landed on his back—weak at first, then harder, as if venting her frustration. But Xie Hejing didn’t resist; the silence between them only grew hotter.
The heat made Nan Xu arch her back, but he held her even tighter.
She drew in a sharp breath, her manicured nails gripping his pajama shirt. As her breathing quickened, the dark-blue fabric sank beneath her hand.
Instead of anger, Xie Hejing’s smile deepened. “Are you trying to leave your mark on me? Should I take it off, then?”
“Don’t.” Nan Xu’s heart skipped, and she quickly stopped him.
She was afraid that if she spoke even a second later, Xie Hejing would actually act on it.
A hint of a smile flashed in Xie Hejing’s eyes. “Then what are you doing? Nan Xu, your breathing is heavy, your legs are trembling, your back is tense…”
Hearing him list her reactions made Nan Xu want to crawl into a hole, but in her current position, she could only end up closer to Xie Hejing’s embrace.
“Stop talking,” she quickly demanded.
Xie Hejing indeed stopped, then bit Nan Xu’s earlobe again, his tone silken, his warm breath fanning Nan Xu’s ear tip, which was practically scarlet.
“Be good, tell me, how does it feel? Hmm?”
His voice was low and husky, the soft exhales slowly drawing out and then settling, causing her heart to tremble.
Nan Xu’s breath hitched. She frantically turned her head away, trying to escape Xie Hejing’s breath and gaze.
“N-nothing… it doesn’t feel like anything.”
Upon hearing this, Xie Hejing’s eyebrows twitched, his expression darkening slightly. The hand resting on Nan Xu’s waist tightened, and the kneading force immediately became much stronger.
Waves of ticklish sensation washed over her, and Nan Xu was almost overwhelmed.
“Stop, stop kneading.”
Xie Hejing glanced at Nan Xu’s reaction, very satisfied, and completely ignored her words, his hand movements continuous.
Suddenly, a dark glint flashed in his eyes, and the kneading changed into a pinch.
“Ah!”
The force wasn’t heavy, but it startled Nan Xu. She subconsciously squeezed her legs together.
But Xie Hejing’s lean waist blocked her, making it impossible to close them.
In the split second of Nan Xu’s surprise, her fingernails sharply scraped across Xie Hejing’s back. His pajamas were thin, and the sensation was almost immediate.
The thrilling rush of pleasure traveled from his back to his chest, then surged downward.
He let out a low groan and pressed her further down.
“How about now?”
Nan Xu shivered all over, a feeling she had never experienced—strange, oppressive…
She felt like her nerves were being tugged by Xie Hejing, from top to bottom, from outside to inside. Her scattered thoughts were forcefully pulled back by Xie Hejing, entirely focused on the burning contact.
She frowned and bit hard on Xie Hejing’s shoulder; the tattoo was once again covered by a teeth mark.
Xie Hejing was actually somewhat obsessed with the feeling of Nan Xu biting him—a subtle, intoxicating feeling mingled with the sharp pain.
He called this Nan Xu actively leaving a mark on him, a sign of claiming.
But Xie Hejing also knew Nan Xu was furious at the moment. He tried to soothe her, saying, “Be good, get used to it. You’ll become familiar with it later.”
Nan Xu wasn’t listening; she only knew that if this continued, there would truly be no stopping tonight.
“If you don’t let me down, I’ll be angry, and I won’t talk to you tomorrow, or the day after… and I won’t ever try again with you.”
She issued a final ultimatum.
Xie Hejing frowned deeply. Undeniably, he had heard her.
And he was genuinely considering whether or not to release Nan Xu.
Seeing that Xie Hejing was beginning to waver, Nan Xu added fuel to the fire. “I mean what I say. Xie Hejing, if you really make me angry, I’ll just go try it with someone else.”
She had only said it to tease him, but she never expected such a strong reaction.
He stood up abruptly, gripping Nan Xu’s legs tightly so she couldn’t move, forcing her to wrap her arms around him as he strode toward the bed.
Watching the distance between them shrink rapidly, Nan Xu panicked and pleaded, “Hey, I was joking! Xie Hejing, I’m not mad anymore, okay? You can’t be mad either…”
“Calm down, I told you—it was a joke!”
“Ah!”
Nan Xu yelped as she was thrown onto the bed. Xie Hejing leaned over her, bracing himself with both hands as he demanded, “Who do you plan to ‘try’ with? Have you already decided to leave me?”
The air around him dropped to a freezing point, his expression dark and terrifying as he glared down at her.
“Nan Xu,” he ground out, voice hoarse and edged with fury, “I’ll say this once—don’t even think about it.”
Only then did Nan Xu realize how sensitive he was to those words. She swallowed nervously and said carefully, “Okay, I won’t. Don’t be angry, okay? Let’s both calm down.”
Xie Hejing didn’t answer. His gaze stayed fixed on her, as if trying to tell whether she truly meant it.
Nan Xu didn’t shy away. Instead, she mimicked his usual way of comforting her—wrapping her arms around him and gently patting his back, again and again.
Xie Hejing’s eyes flickered, and the chill around him slowly faded.
Nan Xu continued softly, “I just said it without thinking.”
“And you were being mean too. I was already so—so embarrassed, and you just had to say it out loud! It’s mortifying!”
Leaning into the crook of her neck, Xie Hejing inhaled her scent freely.
“Mm, I was mean,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. But I’m serious, Nan Xu—you’ll have to get used to it, otherwise it’ll hurt a lot later…”
Nan Xu froze, quickly covering his mouth. “Why are you still talking?” she protested.
He kissed her palm lightly. “I’m just saying—I don’t want to hurt you…”
“Ah! Stop talking already!” Nan Xu covered her own ears in frustration.
Seeing this, Xie Hejing straightened up. He tugged lightly at her wrist, but when she didn’t move, he didn’t force her—he didn’t want to risk hurting her.
Whether she could hear him or not, he said, “It’s a natural thing. But if you don’t want to hear it, fine… I won’t say another word.”
I’ll just show you instead, he finished silently in his mind.
“Really?” Nan Xu lowered her hands, a small smile tugging at her lips.
Watching her fall right into his trap, Xie Hejing replied smoothly, “Really.”
“But the night isn’t over yet,” he added with a faint smile. “I won’t make you talk about how you feel, but you’ll have to make it up to me somehow.”
“What do you mean, make it up?” Nan Xu asked.
As soon as the memory of earlier flashed in her mind, she turned away in embarrassment.
“I don’t want you holding me tonight,” she muttered.
Xie Hejing’s lips twitched. He wanted Nan Xu to take back what she just said—better yet, to throw it away and never bring it up again.
But considering how close he’d come to losing control earlier, he clenched his jaw and forced out, “Okay.”
Nan Xu finally relaxed a little.
But just as she lifted her head, she saw Xie Hejing expressionlessly taking off his clothes. Startled, she scrambled to the other side of the bed.
Her reaction made his gaze darken, stirring the primal, predatory instinct within him. The veins in his forearm tensed; it took every bit of restraint not to pull her under him, kiss her deeply, and then…
Her soft little gasp from earlier echoed in his mind. Would it sound even better if she were beneath him? Would she cry? She probably would—and she’d be beautiful when she did.
She’d likely be overwhelmed; he’d have to hold himself back.
That thought made Xie Hejing’s breath hitch. The longer Nan Xu stayed near him, the harder it was to control himself.
Maybe one day, he really would lose control.
His hands hadn’t stopped unbuttoning his shirt when Nan Xu’s panicked voice broke in. “What are you doing! Let’s just talk, okay? Don’t take it off!”
“What are you afraid of? I’m not going to do anything to you.”
Those words did ease her nerves—just a little—but not enough for her to fully relax.
Her eyes stayed fixed on him, wary of any sudden move she couldn’t handle.
“I meant I want you to do something to me,” Xie Hejing said lightly.
“…” Nan Xu choked.
“Do what, exactly?” she asked after clearing her throat.
Xie Hejing quickly stripped off his shirt, revealing the firm, defined lines of his muscles, then lay down on the bed.
“Nan Xu, get the thing in the top drawer of the nightstand,” he said.
“Oh, okay.”
She agreed, but since she was sitting on the inside of the bed, she’d have to climb over him to reach it.
She swallowed nervously. “When I go over there, you’re not allowed to grab me.”
“Alright.”
Moving gingerly, Nan Xu got up and stepped past him. Halfway through, she accidentally met his eyes—dark and bottomless—and nearly lost her balance. Luckily, she managed to steady herself and reached the nightstand.
She opened the drawer but didn’t see anything except a tangled bundle of red string.
She couldn’t understand why he’d keep that in his nightstand.
Xie Hejing didn’t bother to explain. “Bring it here.”
Nan Xu straightened out the string, held it carefully, and walked back to him. “Now what?”
“Tie it around my waist,” he said calmly.
“!!!”
Her mind went blank, and heat rushed up her neck.
“Are—are you serious?”
What kind of shameless request was that?
“Mn.”
When he’d prepared that red string, all he’d thought about was her—how it would look wrapped around her body, winding over her skin. But that was something he could never say out loud.
Seeing Nan Xu frozen in place, Xie Hejing said slowly, “You don’t want to do this? Then do you want to continue what we were doing just now instead?”
Before he even finished speaking, Nan Xu had already kicked off her shoes, climbed onto the bed, and hurried to his side. “I’ll do this one,” she blurted out, so quickly it was as if she feared he might change his mind.
Even though she didn’t fully understand his strange request.
She picked up one end of the red string and placed it against his waist. The firm, flexing muscle under her fingertips made her tremble slightly.
Forcing herself to stay calm—and trying to ignore the scorching gaze she could feel from above—Nan Xu knelt beside him. One hand held the end of the string in place, while the other slowly drew it across his body.
As she leaned forward to reach the other side, her hair brushed lightly over his torso.
He turned his head slightly, his expression taut with suppressed emotion.
His gaze followed the movement of that red string. Since Nan Xu refused to bite him, perhaps this was another way to leave a mark on his body.
Nan Xu focused only on wrapping the string. She’d finished the side facing her and paused.
Xie Hejing lay half-reclined on the bed, his slightly arched waist accentuating the defined lines of his abs.
The thin red thread stretched tremblingly across his waist, carrying a quiet, dangerous allure.
Its vivid color drew the eye—no matter how much she tried to look away, Nan Xu couldn’t ignore it.
She risked another glance. The red string swayed faintly with his breathing, teasing the air in silence.
Xie Hejing cleared his throat on purpose, making the string quiver even more, further catching her gaze.
Her hand tightened around the thread, palms damp with sweat that slightly stained the silk-red fibers.
“Can’t handle it anymore?” Xie Hejing’s tone was faintly amused. “Or are you… feeling something?”
Nan Xu gritted her teeth. “I’m not scared,” she muttered, tugging at the thread. “Turn around. I need to tie the other side.”
He raised an eyebrow and spread his hands lazily. “Figure it out yourself.”
Clearly, he had no intention of cooperating by turning over.
Nan Xu pressed her lips into a line. What could she do—push him over?
…Should she try?
Her hand hovered midair, hesitated, then dropped again. She just couldn’t bring herself to touch him.
Feeling a little helpless, she whispered, “Brother, I really can’t.”
“What do you want me to do then?” she asked in a resigned tone.
She was getting better at guessing what he’d say next, and that only made the smile in Xie Hejing’s eyes deepen.
He didn’t tease her for long. “Kiss it.”
“Huh?”
Kiss him again? He really seemed to like that.
But she didn’t have much choice. Nan Xu shifted closer on her knees, about to lean in when Xie Hejing suddenly stopped her.
She tilted her head, confused—it was the first time he’d ever refused her kiss.
“What’s wrong?”
“Be good,” he said softly. “Kiss the red string.”
Seeing her still staring at the thread in her hand without reacting, he added with a hint of laughter, “The one that’s on me.”