Chapter 29 – Did the Cafeteria Auntie Put Pig Feed in His Food?
Still immersed in his fantasy of shooting birds through a scope, Tangyuan suddenly froze, realizing something. He nudged Zhuang Bai, who was still guarding through his scope: “Did I… just say that out loud?”
Zhuang Bai gave a simple, straightforward answer: “Mm.”
“Why didn’t you warn me?” Tangyuan blurted out, then sneaked a side glance at the man sitting in the team leader’s spot. As he stared, he couldn’t help but wonder: they both grew up eating the same base cafeteria food—so how come that guy turned out so good-looking? He pinched the flesh around his own belly.
D*mn it.
Did the cafeteria auntie spike his food with pig feed?
Completely lost in this sudden conspiracy theory, Tangyuan forgot all about his current predicament—until the big boss spoke again.
“Fatty.” Shao Zhan’s voice was smooth and clear. “Do you want to answer me now, or wait until we’re back at base for a deeper… discussion?”
“I-I-I…” The moment he heard “deeper discussion,” Tangyuan practically had a blowout on the spot. “The ‘despicable’ I mentioned… I meant baby! Like the big-eyed baby! The one from horror movies! Super scary one…”
Shao Zhan, crouching until his legs had gone numb, was planning to mess with his teammate a little more—but a roaring wave of engine noise interrupted his fun.
With sharp eyes, Jiang Ranan was the first to report: “They’re here. Direction W.”
As soon as he finished speaking, the team voice chat returned to its usual icy silence.
No one moved. No one attacked. The vast ruins felt like a dead city.
“Captain, should we engage?” Jiang Ranan, the youngest on the team, was starting to get restless as the enemy vehicles approached.
If they let the opponents get within grenade range, the advantage Xinghai currently held would vanish in an instant.
Faced with the anxious question from his teammate, Shao Zhan simply replied, “No rush.”
In the operations room, Jiang Ranan tilted his head, clearly confused, and looked toward the captain.
But seeing that calm and unbothered look on Shao Zhan’s face, the anxiety in his heart gradually settled down.
When experts clash, it’s not like a reckless gunfight. What’s tested is mindset, strategy, and patience.
At first, Yang Sa had been desperate to win, but with each shot, he quickly adjusted his mentality. His opponent this time was a seasoned veteran, someone who had led his team to win PUBG’s highest honors—he knew he couldn’t let his guard down.
Meanwhile, Shao Zhan was also analyzing his attacker’s mindset. Most players, after a failed ambush, would weaken on their second attempt and break by the third. Or they’d grow impatient during a prolonged standoff and charge in recklessly the next time. But clearly, none of that applied to Yang Sa.
He was calm, controlled, and paced his team’s advance with precision, steadily carrying out the plan laid out from the very start.
Even Shao Zhan, mature beyond his years and known for his composure, couldn’t help but admire Yang Sa’s mental fortitude as LAP’s leader.
But did Yang Sa really think he’d just sit back and let LAP’s convoy drive into grenade range and start planting traps?
Through the scope, Shao Zhan observed a sudden shift in the enemy convoy’s formation.
Just before the change fully took place, Shao Zhan pulled the trigger.
…
“What the hell, are those two playing hide and seek?” Jie Ao’s captain, Zhou Heng, yawned as he reached out to ask a teammate for some water.
After a moment with no response, he remembered—he was sitting in Xinghai’s area, and the only one nearby was another lazy bastard who was just as used to being waited on as he was.
Faced with the idea of lifting his precious backside to get water himself, he licked his dry lips and decided he’d rather stay thirsty.
The captain of Team Weiguang, sitting beside him, clearly had the same thought. Instead of getting up, he tried to shift the mood with conversation: “If they keep circling like this, the flowers on the battlefield’ll wilt. Do these two even have any competitive spirit?”
Surprisingly, Zhou Heng from Jie Ao agreed for once. “Exactly. Slap a passive gameplay penalty on them. Disqualify them and send them back home.”
“No kidding.” Mu Chen from Weiguang nodded vigorously. He rolled up his sleeves and pointed at the screen. “If they were fighting like they did against Jiao’ao, this match would’ve been over already—”
Zhou Heng cut him off, “Why aren’t you using Weiguang as the example?”
Just hearing that made Zhou Heng’s blood pressure spike. When other teams lost, it stayed internal. But when he lost, not only did he get mocked across the entire internet, he also got turned into a viral meme.
“Well, you know…” Mu Chen chuckled awkwardly, “It just… came out naturally.”
Zhou Heng raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘Jie Ao came out naturally’?”
“You tell me.” Mu Chen shot him a glance, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Off in a corner, a pair of sharp eyes were quietly observing the Xinghai team’s player section.
Qin Chuan pulled out his little gossip notebook, bit off the pen cap, and started scribbling furiously in the glow of a nearby armrest light: “Those two are definitely hooking up. Definitely hooking up!”
“You really don’t know what I meant?” Zhou Heng asked again.
“How would I know?” Weiguang’s captain nervously swallowed.
With a sudden move, Zhou Heng lifted Mu Chen’s chin. “You… really don’t know?”
“I… I know…”
“Louder.”
…
Bang!
A gunshot rang out, immediately followed by the battle report:
[Starcraft—Mars knocked down LAP—Killer with an AWM]
As the notification flashed on screen, the remaining vehicles surged forward like mad to shield their injured teammate.
Thick smoke grenades were quickly deployed, and within moments, the convoy disappeared into a dense white fog.
However, the Xinghai players, having already received the signal to attack, began unloading pre-aimed bullets directly into the veil of smoke.
[Starcraft—Sweet knocked down LAP—Blue with a 98K]
[Starcraft—Keen knocked down LAP—White with an AKM]
[LAP—White eliminated Starcraft—River with a frag grenade]
[Starcraft—Keen killed LAP—White with an AKM]
At this point, both teams had lost one player. The situation was unclear, and everything remained hidden in the heavy fog of war.
Spectators at the front rows stared at the big screen, trying to make sense of the battle through the chaos of roaring engines, gunfire, and explosions.
[Starcraft—Sweet knocked down LAP—Black with a 98K]
[LAP—Blue knocked down Starcraft—Keen with a frag grenade]
As Blue, having just been revived, drove to reach Black, Keen rushed forward toward the frontline.
While both sides were focused on emergency revives, a rusty jeep suddenly burst through the northern flank, racing straight into the inner part of the ruins.
Gunfire erupted again as Mars, who had anticipated the enemy’s route, calmly fired a shot to intercept.
Downstairs, Yang Sa wasn’t going to just sit there and take it. The moment he spotted the flash of a barrel at the window, he slammed the gas, switched seats mid-movement, and hurled a grenade using the vehicle’s momentum—landing it perfectly through the target window.
Shao Zhan let out a soft hiss, a hint of regret flashing across his face for missing the last shot. He had watched the bullet spark off the front passenger seat—only to realize Yang Sa had already switched to the back row.
Just as he became aware that he’d missed a rare opportunity for a long-range kill, a grenade rolled to a stop on the floor behind him—boom.
While Shao Zhan turned to heal, he heard rapid footsteps below. He knew there was no avoiding a close-quarters fight with that person.
At the same time, Yang Sa climbed through the window, his heart pounding. After all the games he’d played, all the ground he’d covered, all the shots he’d fired—he had finally earned the right to stand face-to-face with that man.
Upstairs, Shao Zhan carefully repositioned himself, using the sounds of footsteps to pinpoint Yang Sa’s location.
Elsewhere nearby, both teams had entered into close combat. The battle was at a boiling point.
The odds were 50/50—whoever landed the first blow here would secure the win for their team.
Footsteps came to a halt at the top of the stairs, as if aware that a gun was aimed precisely at the empty stairwell.
Shao Zhan smiled faintly and casually cooked a grenade, counting the seconds before tossing it downstairs.
At the same moment, a perfectly timed grenade flew up in return, forcing him to retreat.
As Shao Zhan was falling back, Yang Sa—risking death from the blast—charged the staircase.
Before his feet were even fully planted, he fired in the direction of the retreating steps, based solely on sound.
His speed and fearlessness were so astonishing that even the professional players watching had to admire it.
Two grenades exploded around him, one in front, one behind, bursting into dazzling fire. But that still wasn’t the deadliest part.
What truly left him defenseless… was the man who had been waiting for him all along.
[Starcraft—Mars killed LAP—Killer with an AWM]