Feeling the clarity in his hands, Mu Ye’s ambition surged, and the suppressed emotions returned to a soft and intangible state.
He held his hand with both hands, bringing his cold hand together in his palms.
In the end, he couldn’t bear to rush him away again.
Reluctant to let Mu Ye sleep on the narrow accompanying bed, Song Jianchu made some space for him.
Mu Ye hugged him as usual, holding him tighter, with his nose against his cheek.
The gentle breathing by his ear brought a sense of reassurance. Song Jianchu’s consciousness gradually became hazy, and he soon fell asleep again.
“Good night.”
He vaguely heard Mu Ye’s voice.
Mu Ye’s warm and deep voice called him softly in his ear, “Darling.”
…
As the patient’s condition deteriorated rapidly, in order to alleviate the symptoms as soon as possible, on the third day of hospitalization, Song Jianchu started receiving further combined chemotherapy.
Dr. Zhao told Mu Ye, “During chemotherapy, the patient’s immune system is extremely weak, so they must be admitted to the sterile ward and cannot be accompanied.”
Mu Ye asked, “What are the side effects of chemotherapy?”
Dr. Zhao said, “After using chemotherapy drugs, there are usually strong side effects. Common side effects include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fatigue, rapid decrease in platelets and white blood cells. Many patients find it difficult to persist with the treatment.”
Mu Ye tightened his brows and said, “When the symptoms improve a bit, we may consider transferring to another hospital.”
“Where do you want to transfer to?” asked Dr. Zhao.
Mu Ye said, “We want to go to Dr. Yan Guo’s for treatment. We’ve already made the arrangements.”
Dr. Zhao nodded and said, “That’s reassuring. Dr. Yan is an expert in treating accelerated-phase chronic myelogenous leukemia. However, the preferred treatment plan there won’t be much different from here.”
Mu Ye lowered his eyes and fell silent for a few seconds. “In any case, we must strive to ensure that he waits until a matching donor is found.”
The sterile ward had a television and allowed the use of mobile phones, but they had to undergo strict disinfection procedures. The two could only meet through video calls every day.
Occasionally, when nurses entered the room, they would catch a glimpse of Song Jianchu’s phone screen. They had long noticed the relationship between the two, but they remained professional and acted as if they hadn’t noticed anything.
Mu Ye returned in the past few days, and although he wanted to meet, he wouldn’t disturb Song Jianchu’s rest frequently. He would occasionally send a video call to accompany him and talk.
The one-hour video call with Mu Ye every night before bed was the time when Song Jianchu’s mood was at its best each day.
“Look, wait a moment.” Mu Ye picked up a small dog named Denglu. “This little thing has been fattened by Pei Shinian. Even his thin face has become round.”
Song Jianchu looked at the person and the dog on the screen, his eyes filled with a faint smile. “Grown.”
Mu Ye hugged the dog and looked at the noticeably thinner person in the video. “Did you not eat well? You’ve lost a lot of weight.”
Song Jianchu was about to speak when Mu Ye sighed again, “It’s not appetizing to watch, and it’s normal not to have much appetite.”
“…”
Song Jianchu chuckled lightly. “Indeed.”
Mu Ye asked softly, “Isn’t it boring during video calls?”
“It’s not too bad.”
Mu Ye said in anticipation, “Chu Chu, I miss you so much.”
Song Jianchu said, “You’ll be able to go out in a few days.”
“When you’re discharged, let’s go on a date,” Mu Ye said. “You haven’t taken me out on a date yet.”
Haven’t we?
Song Jianchu thought for a moment. “Didn’t we have dates overseas?”
“That was a date with the sponsor,” Mu Ye said. “I want to have a date with my boyfriend.”
Song Jianchu smiled and said, “Okay, let’s go on a date.”
Mu Ye looked forward and said, “This time, let’s go somewhere where nobody knows us, no need to cover our faces, just like an ordinary couple.”
Putting aside the fact that Chinese people are everywhere, Mu Ye’s high level of fame made it a bit difficult. Song Jianchu tactfully said, “It’s a bit hard to find such a place.”
Mu Ye’s expression dimmed, and he looked forlorn
Song Jianchu quickly said, “It’s not that difficult. We can go to a place with no one.”
After a pause, Song Jianchu hesitated and said, “Like Antarctica… or the Arctic.”
Mu Ye smiled. “That sounds good.”
“It’s just a bit far, and there are no hotels,” Mu Ye said with some regret. “It will be very cold at night, and we won’t be able to cuddle.”
Song Jianchu’s face remained calm, with a slight blush.
“Forget it,” Mu Ye lazily said, “as long as I’m on a date with Chu Chu, anywhere is fine.”
Song Jianchu smiled.
Occasionally, Yin Chi would also video chat with him for a few minutes, keeping him company and chatting.
“When did the doctor say you can be discharged?” Yin Chi asked. “I still want to come and see you.”
Yin Chi sat in the office and said, “Director Cui knows you’re hospitalized and has decided to suspend the program. We’ll record other variety shows first, and when you’re better, we’ll resume the recordings for this one.”
Song Jianchu frowned. “Can’t they replace me?”
“He said you’re the soul of the team, and it’s better to change the program than to change the person,” Yin Chi said. “So you need to recover quickly, otherwise your investments will all go to waste.”
“I don’t think so,” Song Jianchu said. “This should be the most rewarding investment.”
Yin Chi smiled and said, “Indeed, Mr. Mu is the most rewarding.”
The first phase of chemotherapy ended, and after staying in the sterile ward for a week, Song Jianchu’s symptoms improved slightly, so he was transferred to a regular ward, but the side effects were still severe.
When Mu Ye returned to the ward with a nutritious meal, Song Jianchu held his abdomen tightly, keeping his eyes closed and his forehead covered in cold sweat.
Mu Ye approached and gently touched his forehead, furrowing his brow. “Still feeling nauseous? Can you eat anything?”
Song Jianchu shook his head slightly.
“Eat a little less,” Mu Ye’s gaze swept over the visibly thin clavicle of the young man, his eyes filled with tenderness. He coaxed softly, “Be good, you’ve already lost too much weight.”
Song Jianchu suppressed a strong sense of nausea and sat up, reluctantly eating some food.
Mu Ye propped his face on his hand and watched him eat. He picked up some vegetables and said with a smile, “Shall I feed you?”
Song Jianchu paused for a moment. “No need.”
Mu Ye’s eyes filled with regret, and he said softly, “The aunties in the neighboring ward all have children to feed.”
Children in the neighboring ward??? Song Jianchu immediately knew that this person was talking nonsense.
Helpless yet amused, he handed over the spoon. “You can only feed me until the nurse comes.”
Mu Ye gladly took the spoon and carefully fed the porridge to his lips, pretending as if it were unintentional. “Why, don’t you want our relationship to be discovered?”
Song Jianchu had never been taken care of like this before, so he felt a bit embarrassed. His ears turned slightly red. “It’s embarrassing.”
Mu Ye’s eyes flashed with a teasing smile as he deliberately distorted his meaning. “Are you embarrassed by me?”
“No,” Song Jianchu quickly said, “it’s not like that.”
Finding Song Jianchu’s shy appearance adorable, Mu Ye leaned closer and gave him a kiss, savoring the moment. “Why is your face so thin-skinned, Chu Chu? You don’t even dare to kiss too forcefully.”
Just as the nurse was about to come and deliver the medication, Song Jianchu glanced towards the door.
“You’re so afraid of being seen?” Mu Ye fed him another spoonful and chuckled with a hint of ambiguity. “What will we do in the future?”
Song Jianchu obediently opened his mouth, his cheeks heating up even more than the porridge.
Suddenly, he remembered something. “Do we not need to prepare for the concert?”
“No rush,” Mu Ye said. “It has been postponed.”
Song Jianchu was taken aback.
Mu Ye blew on the porridge to cool it down and brought it to his lips, calmly saying, “The most important fans won’t be able to attend. They will understand.”
Song Jianchu hesitated and spoke, “Mu Ye…”
“Song Jianchu,” Mu Ye interrupted him, his expression indifferent. “You don’t have the qualification to voice your opinion now. Just obediently listen.”
“…”
That night, Song Jianchu couldn’t sleep.
He opened his eyes on the hospital bed and looked towards the accompanying bed. To avoid disturbing his rest, Mu Ye was sleeping on the accompanying bed tonight.
“Mu Ye,” Song Jianchu said, “let’s not postpone the concert.”
Mu Ye was lying on his side, facing away from him and keeping his eyes closed.
They had been sleeping together for a long time, and Song Jianchu could tell from the breathing that he was still awake.
“We can livestream it,” Song Jianchu suggested. “Don’t let the fans down.”
“Chu Chu,” Mu Ye suddenly said, “let’s go public.”
Song Jianchu was taken aback.
After waiting for a long time without a response, Mu Ye chuckled lightly and said, “If you don’t want to, then forget it.”
“If I remember correctly, you have never missed the opening show of every world tour,” Mu Ye said softly. “You’ve been consistent all these years. It would be a great regret to miss this one.”
Song Jianchu was a bit surprised.
Mu Ye had seen him before?
In an instant, Song Jianchu’s mood changed, and he slightly curved his lips, calmly saying, “No.”
“Yes, you have.”
Song Jianchu blinked.
Mu Ye said, “You not being visible will make you feel uncomfortable and affect your performance.”
After considering it for a while, although it was regrettable to miss the opening show, Song Jianchu still felt uneasy about it.
He knew how much anticipation there was for Mu Ye’s concert. Many fans had been waiting for a year or two in advance. If it suddenly got postponed without a good reason, they might face criticism.
After hesitating for a moment, Song Jianchu still spoke up, “Mu Ye…”
Before he could finish, Mu Ye opened his eyes and looked at him. “Song Jianchu.”
Song Jianchu was taken aback and obediently held back his words.
Mu Ye observed the expression that flickered across Song Jianchu’s face and felt somewhat perplexed.
Restraining his expression, Mu Ye said, “No more talking. Go to sleep.”
“…”
Song Jianchu obediently closed his eyes.
During the treatment period, he couldn’t take a shower. Worried that Song Jianchu would feel uncomfortable, the next night, before going to sleep, Mu Ye brought a heated towel from the bathroom and smiled, saying, “It must be uncomfortable not being able to take a shower. Let me wipe you down.”
Song Jianchu did want to take a shower, but he wasn’t quite comfortable with this method.
He held Mu Ye’s outstretched hand and blushed, saying, “I’ll do it myself.”
Mu Ye laughed. “What’s there to be shy about? What haven’t you seen?”
Song Jianchu’s gaze hesitated.
It felt completely different. Back then, everything could happen naturally, but now it felt forced.
Helplessly, Mu Ye said, “Just don’t look at me. Close your eyes.”
Song Jianchu persisted, “It’s fine. I can do it myself.”
Just as he was about to sit up, Mu Ye narrowed his eyes and said in a gentle tone, “Song Jianchu.”
“…”
With a burning face, Song Jianchu lay back down and awkwardly averted his gaze.
Mu Ye raised an eyebrow as if he had discovered something amusing and muttered to himself, “This works so well.”
Song Jianchu was still very embarrassed and reluctantly sat up. “Just a simple wipe.”
The hospital gown was loose, so his body shape was not easily discernible.
As he pulled up the gown, Mu Ye’s movement subtly paused for a moment. His gaze quickly swept over the young man’s thin upper body. His barely noticeable frown deepened, and the corners of his mouth slowly turned down.
The memory of a once tight and well-proportioned body was now visibly thin, with visible ribs and more prominent bruises and marks on his fair skin, like bruises from bumps.
Song Jianchu not only had delicate and tender lips, but his youthful skin was also smooth and delicate.
Every time they were intimate, Mu Ye was very careful and reluctant to leave any marks.
Mu Ye quickly lowered his gaze, suppressing the melancholic emotions in his eyes, and intentionally teased to lighten the mood, “You seemed very happy when you were watching me shower. Aren’t you interested in watching me?”
Song Jianchu averted his gaze. “I was wearing sunglasses.”
Mu Ye chuckled. “Wearing sunglasses makes you invisible?”
Song Jianchu didn’t want to bring up the past again and skillfully pretended not to hear.
Using the heated towel, Mu Ye helped Song Jianchu wipe his arms. When he wiped the bruises on his skin, he applied gentle pressure, his gaze deep and his tone relaxed. “You can wear sunglasses too. Tomorrow, I’ll get you a pair.”
Song Jianchu thought that Mu Ye was referring to sunglasses and looked up, confused.
Mu Ye tilted his chin and changed to a different towel to wipe his face, his eyes filled with ambiguity as he looked at Song Jianchu. “But wearing sunglasses is very cool. You should be mentally prepared.”
Song Jianchu’s gaze gradually became perplexed.
At this point, any trace of embarrassment in Song Jianchu’s heart had dissipated.
As Mu Ye talked to him, he helped him wipe, his movements almost tender, his expression focused.
Song Jianchu’s gaze remained fixed on Mu Ye’s familiar expression. Before he could feel embarrassed, the wiping was over unconsciously.
Mu Ye changed into clean hospital clothes.
Song Jianchu breathed a sigh of relief, whispering, “Thank you.”
“Good boy.” Mu Ye leaned over and kissed his forehead affectionately, speaking in a gentle tone. “Go take a shower. If you need anything, just call.”
After this incident, Song Jianchu’s mood felt somewhat strange.
He stared directly at Mu Ye, who was arranging the towels, and couldn’t seem to look away. When Mu Ye turned around, he unconsciously grabbed the hem of Mu Ye’s clothes, which was a rare occurrence. “Can we kiss again?”
After being in the hospital for so long, they hadn’t kissed in a while.
Song Jianchu surprisingly felt a little desire for it.
Mu Ye looked at him for a few seconds, then leaned over, propping himself on the bed, and pressed his lips against Song Jianchu’s, maintaining the pure connection for a few seconds.
Before he could kiss enough, Mu Ye had already pulled back, brushing against his nose and saying in a gentle voice, “Don’t tempt me. Be good. You owe me kisses during this period, and you have to repay them after you’re discharged.”
Song Jianchu bit his lip and felt the lingering softness on his lips.
Mu Ye patted his head and gently coaxed, “Go to sleep. Goodnight.”
Song Jianchu’s gaze was filled with regret. “Goodnight.”
After entering the bathroom, Mu Ye closed the door.
Setting down the basin and towel, Mu Ye leaned slightly on the sink, lowering his head. He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled, feeling a lump in his throat. It took him a few minutes to adjust his emotions.
He hastily finished washing up and changed into his pajamas before returning to the bedside to check on Song Jianchu.
Song Jianchu was already asleep.
Song Jianchu always slept well. He could stay in the same position all night, especially when he slept in his embrace.
Mu Ye sat quietly by the bed, gazing at the young man’s slender face. He used the blanket to cover the hand that was outside.
Turning off the bedside lamp, Mu Ye sat on the adjacent companion bed, about to lie down when he heard a faint vibration from his phone in the ward.
Mu Ye found his phone and saw a message from Yin Chi.
[Yin Chi: Mr. Mu, Song Yan is willing to do the matching!]
Mu Ye held his phone and went to the corridor to call Yin Chi.
Mu Ye’s tone was calm. “Why did he change his mind? Can we trust him?”
“I’m not sure. He called just now and said he’ll go to the hospital for matching tomorrow,” Yin Chi said. “Let him give it a try. We’ll see the results later. Jianchu can’t wait any longer.”
Mu Ye said, “Tell him to contact me when he arrives.”
“Alright,” Yin Chi said. “I’ll send him your number.”
After hanging up the phone, Mu Ye looked through the small window on the door, his brow slightly relaxed.
…
The next morning, Song Yan came to the hospital for the matching, and Mu Ye chatted with him for a few minutes.
The two of them talked on the hospital rooftop.
Mu Ye asked directly, “Why did you change your mind?”
“You don’t have to be so guarded against us,” Song Yan pursed his lips. “No one can force me to do something I don’t want to do. Once I’ve made up my mind, I won’t regret it.”
Mu Ye said calmly, “If the matching is successful, you can have whatever reward you want.”
“I’m not here to make money,” Song Yan sneered. “Although I’m having a bit of bad luck now, it’s not to the point of selling my bone marrow.”
Song Yan handed a card to Mu Ye. “Give this to Song Jianchu. He doesn’t need to pity me.”
Mu Ye took the card.
“Please pass this message on to him,” Song Yan frowned, turning his face away. “For the things my father did, it’s useless to say anything now… I apologize on his behalf. If I can repay it this time, I will.”
Mu Ye remained silent for a moment and said, “The matching results will be available in about a week. Regardless of the outcome, thank you. I hope you can take good care of your body during this period and avoid excessive drinking.”
“I know,” Song Yan turned and walked towards the stairs to the rooftop.
To avoid disappointment in case of an unfavorable result, Mu Ye temporarily didn’t tell Song Jianchu about this matter.
They spent New Year’s Eve in the hospital.
Song Jianchu leaned on the bed and scrolled through the comments on Weibo, a long-lost activity.
The fans sent plenty of New Year’s wishes in the comment section.
[Stinky Treasure, happy New Year! Get well soon and leave the hospital early!!]
[Wuwuwu, it’s been so long since you last updated on Weibo. Momma misses you, report that you’re safe. Happy New Year, baby!]
[Today is the last day, hoping that all the bad things that tormented you this year will stay in this year, and may everything go smoothly next year. [Praying]]
[Baby, I miss you. Look at the New Year’s Eve dinner. Even in the hospital, you should eat well. [Image]]
[Defeat the illness! My New Year’s wish is for my son to be healthy and safe every year. [Firecracker]]
[Son, rest well and get better soon. Mom is waiting for you to come back and film the show!!]
[Happy New Year, Leader! We’re waiting for you!!!]
The members also posted on Weibo.
[Pei Shinian v: Leader, recover quickly and get back to work. I want to go to work [Ultraman]. Song Jianchu.]
[Bai Xingyu v: Waiting for you to return to work. Leader, get better soon. Song Jianchu.]
[Lu Shen v: [Cheering] Song Jianchu.]
The previous few episodes’ flying guests also posted on Weibo.
[Qin Fang v: Leader, taking the day off? Hurry up and rise to the occasion. Song Jianchu.]
[Kun Yu’an v: Missing the leader, please recover quickly. I want to go back to work [Tears] Song Jianchu.]
[Xiaoqing Is Peace v: Leader, go for it!! Next time you go to work, announce it in advance. I want to be fed by the divine leader, wuwu. Song Jianchu.]
……
“What are you looking at?”
Mu Ye went out to fetch something, wearing a warm coffee-colored cashmere coat as he returned to the ward, placing the multiple-layered lunch boxes on the table.
Song Jianchu locked his phone and set it aside, saying, “Weibo.”
“You won’t be able to have the New Year’s Eve dinner, but I’ll take you back next year to have it,” Mu Ye opened the lunch boxes, and the enticing aroma filled the entire room. “This was sent by Ming. Sister-in-law’s cooking skills are also excellent.”
Song Jianchu hesitated. “Is it okay that we’re not going home for the New Year?”
“I’ve already talked to them,” Mu Ye arranged the exquisite New Year’s Eve dinner nicely and expressed his satisfaction. “Let’s eat. After we’re done, we’ll make some New Year’s calls and Mumo will send out red envelopes.”
Song Jianchu’s expression faltered. “You know about us?”
“Not yet,” Mu Ye picked up some food with his chopsticks and looked at him gently. “There’s no rush to make it public. Can I talk about the people?”
Song Jianchu lowered his head and picked up his chopsticks absentmindedly. “Mu Ye, let’s wait a bit longer, can we?”
“Why?” Mu Ye poured a bowl of soup and smiled. “You’ve met them before, and they all like you.”
Song Jianchu licked his dry lips. “I’m not ready yet.”
Mu Ye chuckled. “Don’t be so nervous. Then we’ll wait until you’re ready. Let’s eat.”
Song Jianchu observed Mu Ye’s expression. “Hmm.”
After finishing the New Year’s Eve dinner, Song Jianchu sat on the hospital bed, looking at the warm orange glow reflected in the night sky outside the window. He could faintly hear the distant sound of fireworks.
Mu Ye was about to take out a towel from the bathroom to help Song Jianchu wipe his face when Song Jianchu suddenly said, “Mu Ye, I want to go out.”
Mu Ye paused in his footsteps, a distance between them. His gaze fixed on the side of the young man’s face as he gazed out the window.
Song Jianchu’s complexion was even more haggard than when he was admitted to the hospital, yet it wasn’t unpleasant, exuding a pale beauty that portrayed his youthful fragility.
Unbeknownst to them, they had already been in the hospital for over half a month.
After receiving chemotherapy, Song Jianchu’s condition briefly improved, only to deteriorate rapidly again. The aggressive treatment phase was a constant struggle against fate, where they could only adapt and cope with sudden and life-threatening symptoms.
Song Jianchu, however, hardly showed any obvious signs of suffering. Even during the days when the side effects of chemotherapy were the strongest, he appeared unaffected, enduring it with remarkable strength.
In order to ensure uninterrupted treatment, Mu Ye didn’t dare to easily transfer Song Jianchu to another hospital.
Their matching with Yin Chi had both failed as expected, so now they could only wait for the results of Song Yan’s matching.
“Alright,” Mu Ye smiled and said, “Put on some clothes.”
There is no medicine available now. Mu Ye greeted the doctor and helped Song Jianchu put on warm outerwear, carefully placing a knitted hat and scarf on him.
They didn’t go too far. Mu Ye pushed Song Jianchu in a wheelchair to the hospital rooftop, which offered a wide view.
Up high, the cloud layer in the sky appeared low, with dark orange clouds spread across the city like a warm blanket.
Fireworks were allowed in designated areas outside the Fifth Ring Road.
Golden fireworks constantly bloomed in the sky above nearby neighborhoods, emitting a gentle sizzling sound when they burst, like sprinkling golden powder.
The rooftop was windy, so Mu Ye pulled down the knitted hat, covering Song Jianchu’s ears, and smiled. “Do you want to set off fireworks?”
The young man’s brown, glass-like eyes seemed to be immersed in shimmering golden powder.
Song Jianchu shook his head. “We probably can’t set them off.”
Mu Ye smirked and took out a box of sparklers from his pocket. “These can.”
“Where did you get them from?” Song Jianchu’s eyes lit up.
Mu Ye opened the flat cardboard box and poured out a sparkler with an air of seriousness. “I saw some kids playing with them outside just now. The nearby sales booth had sold out. I sweet-talked a little girl and managed to swindle a box from her.”
Song Jianchu was stunned, his expression complex as he stared at Mu Ye for several seconds.
Mu Ye lit two sparklers and handed one to Song Jianchu.
The starlight in the distance was held in their hands, and the warm firelight softened both of their faces.
Song Jianchu kept his gaze fixed on the sparkler until it burned out completely.
After playing with the whole box, Mu Ye noticed that Song Jianchu’s eyes were still longing for more and jokingly said, “Not satisfied? Should we go and swindle another box?”
Song Jianchu’s tone was calm. “Mu Ye, don’t let others kiss you so casually.”
Mu Ye, finding his boyfriend jealous, was a rare sight and couldn’t help but continue teasing. “Not even little kids?”
“No,” Song Jianchu replied, not appearing too happy as he lowered his gaze, and said softly, “Even little kids will grow up one day.”
“That’s true,” Mu Ye’s gaze became absent-minded as he evaluated the young man in front of him who had already grown up. He said softly, “When you were sixteen, you were only nine. In the blink of an eye, you’ve grown up.”
Upon hearing that age, Song Jianchu suddenly realized something and slowly raised his eyes, following Mu Ye’s movements.
Mu Ye squatted in front of him, carefully observing his features.
“Be tougher,” Mu Ye said, “Since you’re not at ease, don’t leave any chance for others to stay.”
“Watch over it,” Mu Ye locked his gaze onto Song Jianchu’s eyes and spoke in a very gentle and soothing voice, “Spoil, pamper, indulge—an irreplaceable gift. Make you so accustomed to it that you can’t be without it. Besides making you happy, they won’t know anything else.”
Mu Ye took off the silver bracelet from his hand and put it on Song Jianchu’s wrist. “Afraid that you won’t be able to live without me, so I can’t rest easy for a single moment. I’ll always hold on to you. Afraid that I won’t be able to hold on to you, I can only keep you close, not going anywhere, always by your side.”
Song Jianchu stared blankly at the person in front of him, his gaze suddenly enlightened.
The man’s features had not been dulled by time but had become even more radiant due to sufficient growth. His gray eyes were misty, with a deep and subtle shimmer, and the corners of his eyes formed an enchanting curve.
“Master,” Mu Ye turned over Song Jianchu’s hand and looked at him, tilting his head and nuzzling against his palm, seeking affection. “I want to be a beautiful waste.”
Mu Ye chuckled softly. “Can dreams like that come true?”