Side Story (4) : Pei Shinian x Jing Si (5)
Pei Shinian was asked and was left dumbfounded.
It was just a simple question, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to answer.
He couldn’t say “yes,” nor could he say “no.”
He just felt like any response he gave wouldn’t be right.
Perhaps it was because right now, he was still in a daze.
From Pei Shinian’s prolonged confusion and silence, Jing Si seemed to have gotten an answer.
He gently furrowed his brow and broke the silence, “I’m sorry. If you need me to, I can apologize to you.”
Pei Shinian was at a loss, his lips moved, but he still didn’t know what to say.
He had actually been in an online relationship with Jing Si.
It was too embarrassing.
This was definitely the first time in his life he felt socially dead.
Right now, he just wanted to find a rat hole nearby and bury himself in it.
Jing Si also seemed to find it absurd, slightly curling his lips, he said, “I didn’t expect you to have such thoughts about her, nor did I expect you to be this foolish.”
“?”
The embarrassment and confusion in Pei Shinian’s eyes faded away, replaced by a look of bewilderment.
How did an apology turn into an insult?
“Is there anything else?” Jing Si glanced at his watch, clearly being dismissive, “My family is waiting; I have to go back.”
Pei Shinian nodded absently.
After this major misunderstanding, Pei Shinian felt somewhat embarrassed, and his attitude became much milder.
He looked back at the secluded road at the alley’s entrance. He immediately hopped on the bike, “It’s not safe to get a cab, and the road is pretty dark. Let me drop you off.”
“You don’t have to trouble yourself; I’m not a girl.” Jing Si didn’t look at him and walked straight out.
Pei Shinian: “…”
Watching that cold and distant figure disappear at the corner of the street, Pei Shinian lowered his head on the bike, covering his face. He roughly rubbed his hair a couple of times, “D*mn it…”
Remembering Song Jianchu’s instructions, Pei Shinian took out his phone.
He opened Weibo and indeed saw the official announcement of Qin Fang and Kun Yuan’an.
Pei Shinian closed his eyes.
He had been fantasizing about his good friend’s wife for over a month.
What a mess.
Feeling extremely embarrassed, Pei Shinian’s scalp tingled. He almost reflexively forwarded blessings.
Half an hour later,
After returning home and changing into pajamas, Pei Shinian logged into a game and found that after he and Jing Si added each other on WeChat, he and inHeaven were indeed listed as friends in the game.
J…Jing.
Unbelievable, it was so obvious, why didn’t he think of it then?
Pei Shinian thought for a moment and clicked into Jing Si’s Moments for the first time.
The most recent post was from a week ago, showing a victory screenshot saying “A great night for chicken dinner.”
It was also the only non-work-related post by this director.
Pei Shinian only needed one glance at the victory to remember.
That night, they had an unspoken understanding. They were on a lucky streak, winning more than a dozen rounds in a row. The excitement and thrill that night were more stimulating than when he first skipped class with his friends to play games at an internet cafe.
He seemed to have even pestered someone to wear “matching outfits” with him that night…
The memory was torturous.
Pei Shinian’s face burned with shame. He quickly exited Jing Si’s Moments, covering his eyes with his hand for a moment.
Lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling for five minutes in a daze, Pei Shinian impulsively picked up his phone again and re-entered Jing Si’s Moments.
“?”
Pei Shinian was taken aback, slowly sitting up from the bed and refreshing the page several times.
The game screenshot had been deleted.
The director’s Moments had reverted to mundane work-related updates.
“…”
Pei Shinian was stunned for a good dozen seconds.
A sudden sense of heartache struck him.
Suddenly, the solitary figure of Jing Si walking out of the alley appeared in his mind.
Normally, except for being aloof, Jing Si rarely displayed obvious emotions. But the back view just now, he wondered if it was just his imagination.
It seemed.
A little desolate.
Pei Shinian was stunned, lowering his gaze.
Looking at the relatively dull Moments compared to what ordinary young people shared, Pei Shinian belatedly realized something was off.
Could it be that Jing Si… actually likes him?
–
Jing Si didn’t return to the restaurant.
He flagged down a taxi at the intersection and went straight home.
The night’s lights were divided by the car window into a dim side, and Jing Si’s face was obscured in the dimness.
His features were rugged and sharp, especially when he had no expression. The taxi driver, who usually liked to chat, stayed silent after catching a glimpse of that handsome face in the rearview mirror, not daring to initiate a conversation.
After taking a cold shower at home, Jing Si casually wrapped himself in a gray bathrobe and went into the pet room.
Compared to furry cats and dogs, Jing Si preferred cold-blooded animals.
He raised seven geckos, all extremely rare domestic breeds, with an inestimable value.
Each one was hatched by him from the egg stage.
The care and breeding of geckos required immense patience and effort.
Because artificially raised geckos were abnormally fragile, anything from inappropriate humidity and temperature in their enclosure, dissatisfaction with their environmental conditions, loud noises, bright lights, being startled, bad moods, or even inexplicable circumstances could result in the sudden death of the gecko.
Geckos frequently shed their skin, sometimes needing human assistance to prevent skin blockage.
Jing Si opened the enclosure and gently took out a gecko that needed help shedding. He softened the skin in water at the specified temperature and carefully assisted the gecko in shedding, starting from its mouth, under a desk lamp, using tweezers.
Shedding was comfortable, the small gecko lay obediently in the man’s broad palm, happily wagging its tail, thoroughly enjoying the gentle and meticulous care.
After peeling off the last piece of skin from the claw, Jing Si put down the tweezers and touched the gecko’s head with his thumb.
The gecko comfortably opened its mouth, revealing a soft, heart-shaped, pink tongue.
After the gecko, with its renewed color after shedding, was placed back in the enclosure, and each gecko was fed, Jing Si didn’t linger. He turned off the lights and left the pet room.
Jing Si liked quietness, spending most of his private time alone. Even his best friends couldn’t get him to go out when he didn’t want to. He lived alone all year round, not residing with his parents, occasionally visiting them for a few days.
The day he accidentally turned on his microphone was at his parents’ house.
From childhood to adulthood, he was an exemplary child in others’ eyes, excelling in academics and having no bad habits. His family was well-off, yet he never took a penny from them for his studies abroad. His greatest hobby was his current job, and during his studies, he relied solely on income from commercial shoots, establishing a solid reputation in the industry based solely on word of mouth without any hype.
The most impulsive thing he’d ever done was that rude and offensive kiss that day.
Even he couldn’t explain why he did something so out of character at that time.
After lazily sitting on the couch for a while, he took out his phone from his coat pocket, calmly deleted that out-of-place post without much thought.
Afterward, he left his phone and went to his studio to sketch storyboards, trying to distract himself with work as usual.
This time, however, it didn’t quite work.
After a few casual strokes, he furrowed his brow, put down the pencil, and closed his eyes in frustration.
He didn’t know where the seeds were planted.
Those uncontrollable thoughts seemed like an enormous tree, deeply rooted in his heart, growing wildly.
When he received the invitation to return home, it was the first time he met the top idol he needed to collaborate with in person.
At first, he just found the person familiar.
Later, upon seeing the unconscious gestures of the other person, he remembered it was the junior from high school he had reprimanded a few times for breaking rules.
The junior looked unchanged from those high school days, but because the first impression was of a truant student, Jing Si did have some bias against this collaboration partner.
His impression changed in an unexpected encounter later on.
Initially planning to decline the collaboration invitation, he unexpectedly saw the idol again at a club while discussing matters. An elderly cleaner accidentally spilled dirty water on Pei Shinian’s clothes. Seeing a big star, the cleaner immediately apologized. The coat was worth more than a year’s salary for the old man, but Pei Shinian calmly lied, claiming he spilled it himself.
Jing Si didn’t think much of it at the time, just thinking this person had decent acting skills and wasn’t entirely unusable.
This chance encounter led to an unstoppable change.
He kept witnessing similar incidents.
On the first day of filming, he saw a top-tier artist sitting idly on the side of the set like an unemployed person. A child lost the pocket money given by the parent and was crying frantically. Pei Shinian managed to fish out some cash from his pocket, lying that he found it nearby.
A new assistant got Pei Shinian’s favorite coffee flavor wrong, which was considered a “serious mistake” in the circle around the top artist. The girl was frightened and about to be scolded by the manager, but Pei Shinian lied, saying it was his order.
This person seemed to have no arrogance or pretense of being a top-tier artist. During breaks, he could be seen chatting with extras in the crew and often seen feeding stray cats and dogs at the filming locations with a few makeup artists. There seemed to be no one in the crew who didn’t like Pei Shinian, even the aunties cooking for the crew were fond of him, treating him specially like their own son, offering him delicacies daily.
Jing Si just found it fascinating.
He had never seen anyone so carefree and unpretentious, nor someone so consistent in character.
At times, he seemed like the embodiment of justice, like a wandering hero hidden in the mortal world.
He even became interested in filming a behind-the-scenes documentary of Pei Shinian’s life on the set.
It was really interesting.
By the time he habitually looked for that active figure, Jing Si suddenly became alert. His frequency of attention towards this person had far exceeded the normal range.
So much so that after the movie finished shooting, for a long time, he found his usual life surprisingly dull.
Until one day, in the game, he saw that late-night online gaming enthusiast, and it was then he realized he had involuntarily sent a team invitation.
…
Exhaling deeply, Jing Si pressed his forehead and concentrated, picking up the pencil again.
–
Pei Shinian had never truly experienced heartbreak.
But recently, his feelings were all very strange, as if something was off everywhere.
After finishing work at night and returning home, he’d habitually log in to the game, just to see if that person was online. Every time he saw that dimly lit couple’s nickname, he’d suddenly feel low, as if he’d actually gone through a breakup.
After that day, Jing Si never logged into the game again.
This led Pei Shinian to feel guilty about Jing Si.
Pei Shinian began reflecting on himself.
Was he considered mistreating the other person? Should he invite Jing Si to dinner and formally apologize?
In the end, Pei Shinian chose to avoid it.
After being so independent for so many years, this time, Pei Shinian admitted defeat.
He genuinely didn’t know how to face this bizarre online dating partner.
He felt he couldn’t and wouldn’t bend; he still liked girls. He couldn’t imagine being in a romantic relationship with a man or doing those kinds of things with a man.
The consequence of avoiding was the torment of self-guilt.
For a whole week of extreme emotional lows, Pei Shinian’s dark circles couldn’t be covered up by the makeup artist.
Qin Fang, seeing him self-reproach, consoled him, “Sorry, brother. Did we stimulate you, me and Yuan’an?”
Several days of severe insomnia, Pei Shinian, sitting half-lifelessly in front of the makeup mirror, seriously thought about it and nodded, “Maybe.”
Yeah.
“He must be feeling so bad because he got ‘dumped‘ by his goddess.”
“Where’s your ambiguous companion?” Qin Fang, curious, asked: “You were about to have a girlfriend, it shouldn’t make you this upset, even if I annoy you.”
Pei Shinian had another heartache, expressionless: “Don’t ask, it’s off.”
“Alright… sigh, how many people have I offended by engaging in a romance?” Qin Fang sat down on the nearby chair and sighed: “Director Jing isn’t coming today.”
Pei Shinian paused, hesitantly asking, “Wasn’t there an interview today?”
“Said he has a severe cold,” Qin Fang said, “How could he possibly catch a cold with his physique? He definitely just doesn’t want to see me.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Pei Shinian picked up his phone from the table and opened the chat with Jing Si.
Their conversation was still at the last death threat.
After several revisions, Pei Shinian changed the initial inquiry about the illness into a complaint before sending it out calmly.
[Pei Shinian: The director isn’t cooperating with promotion, worrying about the box office.]
Staring at the screen for a few minutes, it remained ice cold.
No reply.
D*mn.
He couldn’t even respond to work-related matters?
Even when he didn’t use a microphone in the game, he always replied instantly.
Pei Shinian suddenly felt he made a mistake. Even if it was his mistake, hadn’t he helped Jing Si many times in the game? This was the bottom line of friendship between men.
Why was this grown man so petty?
Ignoring his own frustration and dissatisfaction, Pei Shinian tossed the phone aside.
If he spoke up again, he’d be acting like a dog.
Five minutes later, Pei Shinian picked up his phone again, subconsciously looking around. As if afraid of being discovered, he quickly typed: [You’re sick? Heard it’s a cold? Did you go to the hospital?]
After sending, Pei Shinian thought, I’ve already taken the initiative, not replying would be too much.
This time, he received a response.
[J: Mm.]
Looking at this familiar single word, Pei Shinian’s week-long frustration inexplicably eased.
His face brightened a bit, unconsciously raising the corners of his mouth, thinking it was alright like this.
Even though he was straight, he had invested so many days in this. Finding an opportunity to talk things through and being friends afterward would be quite nice.
[Pei Shinian: Is it serious?]
[J: Mm.]
Pei Shinian clicked his tongue, suddenly feeling a bit restless, furrowing his brow.
[Pei Shinian: Which hospital?]
Perhaps because he added one more character, Jing Si took a few seconds longer to reply this time.
[J: Need something?]
The staff notified him to go on stage, leaving Pei Shinian no time to think much. He hastily replied: [Send address.]
Jing Si, wearing a mask, was alone getting an IV at the hospital. He hesitated for a moment before sending the hospital’s address.
He hadn’t caught a cold for many years. He found himself having a severe one when he woke up that morning and, afraid it would affect more work, had to come for an IV.
With a high fever and dizziness, Jing Si didn’t have much energy.
Nor did he dare to have any expectations.
Two hours later, Pei Shinian, wearing sunglasses sneakily, appeared at the entrance of the IV room. A flicker of surprise passed through Jing Si’s eyes.
After finishing the interview, Pei Shinian immediately drove to the hospital and bought two bowls of congee on the way.
The IV room had only a few elderly people who didn’t recognize the two celebrities.
Carrying the takeout, Pei Shinian walked over and saw someone visibly lacking energy in the seat, pretending to be disgusted: “Why are you so useless? You’re even stronger than me, all that exercising for nothing.”
Jing Si looked at the person in front of him, unable to figure out their intentions, silent for a few seconds. “Mm.”
Pei Shinian laughed hearing this, as if he had seen the teammate from the game who only knew how to type jump into reality. He put down the takeout and sat beside him: “You’ve mastered the art of thriftiness with words. Director Jing, with this kind of communication skill, you’ll end up with no friends.”
Jing Si’s eyes softened a bit due to his illness, and his gaze became gentler. He slightly turned his head, staring at him without blinking: “Originally, I didn’t have many.”
Pei Shinian sighed helplessly: “How am I supposed to respond to that?”
Jing Si’s eyes carried a faint smile: “You don’t have to.”
“Okay.” Pei Shinian opened the takeout on the small table between them, “Keep me company eating something; I didn’t have breakfast this morning, starving.”
Actually, he had a McDonald’s breakfast for two.
Raising an eyebrow, Jing Si said, “Aren’t your managers handling this?”
“He wishes I’d eat less,” Pei Shinian said while spoon-feeding Jing Si, jokingly, “Afraid I’d get too fat and not look good in front of the camera.”
“No need to diet,” Jing Si frowned, speaking hoarsely, “This is just right.”
“You don’t have to strain your voice, continue being thrifty with words.” Pei Shinian raised his chin, “Hurry up and finish the congee.”
After finishing eating, Pei Shinian didn’t leave but sat beside, playing games with headphones on to avoid any awkwardness in conversation.
After the IV, Pei Shinian and Jing Si went down to the underground parking lot together, neither breaking the harmonious surface.
Pei Shinian looked at Jing Si’s car, “Can you still drive?”
Observing Pei Shinian’s eyes, Jing Si pondered if he could.
Before he could speak, Pei Shinian tugged at his coat sleeve, heading towards his own car, “Forget it, I won’t cause trouble for the traffic police. Get in my car, I’ll take you.”
Jing Si narrowed his eyes slightly and followed slowly.
Arriving at the building’s entrance, Jing Si didn’t rush to get out, inviting naturally, “Come up? Sit for a while.”
Pei Shinian hesitated, looking up, “You live alone?”
“Mm.”
Pei Shinian thought for a moment, “Is there anything interesting? If not, I won’t go.”
He wasn’t interested in the house of a solitary man.
Jing Si chuckled softly, “Yes.”
Pei Shinian looked skeptical, “My definition of fun is quite particular.”
Jing Si took out his phone and showed a few pictures, “I’ve been raising several mantises.”
Pei Shinian took a glance and immediately unbuckled his seatbelt, “Let’s go, let’s go.”
For the first time at someone else’s home, Pei Shinian didn’t feel constrained. After a brief tour, listening to the sound of water, he went to the kitchen, “I didn’t see much. Are you trying to deceive me?”
Jing Si took off his coat, wearing a dark gray knitted sweater underneath, rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, handed him a teacup, and leisurely said, “Sit first, I’ll show you later.”
Pei Shinian narrowed his eyes, “There were no mantises at all, right? I have a friend who specializes in breeding mantises, and I haven’t seen those species at his place.”
Jing Si took a sip of tea, in the mist of the hot vapor, lowered his eyes, then suddenly asked, “Why did you come to the hospital to see me?”
Pei Shinian was taken aback by the question, awkwardly averted his gaze, finding a random excuse, “This is my movie premiere. If the director had an accident, it wouldn’t be auspicious.”
“Pei Shinian,” Jing Si leaned against the white kitchen counter, holding the teacup against his arms, gazing at him intently, “You also know I’m gay. Have you ever considered that your actions might make me think a lot?”
Since he couldn’t avoid it, Pei Shinian felt he should be open. He faced Jing Si, looking serious, “I know, but I genuinely didn’t mean anything else. Actually, these past few days, I’ve been thinking of apologizing to you formally. After all, it was my misunderstanding that caused you to misinterpret. I’m sorry, Director Jing.”
Jing Si listened attentively, shaking his head, “I’m sorry, I don’t accept this apology.”
“?”
After a moment, Pei Shinian could also understand.
Indeed, feelings were the most challenging to compensate for, and he hadn’t expected an apology to fix everything.
“So how do you want me to compensate you?” Pei Shinian said earnestly, “Just say it, I’ll try to satisfy you.”
Jing Si looked at him quietly and suddenly asked, “Are you sure you don’t like me at all?”
“Sure,” Pei Shinian hesitated for not a moment, “It’s not about you. I just don’t feel anything for guys.”
“Why not give it a try?”
Pei Shinian didn’t feel repulsed now and was very honest, “I’ve tried it before. I really didn’t feel anything.”
Jing Si set down the teacup on the countertop, took the cup from his hand, and asked, “Would you dare to try again?”
Pei Shinian was shocked.
How the hell was he supposed to try?
Was he going to act all innocent? Did he look so naive to be fooled?
“Are you trying to take advantage of me again?” Pei Shinian took a step back, raising his hand defensively, “Save these tactics for someone else.”
Jing Si said very seriously, “If this time you don’t feel anything, I won’t think about you anymore.”
Pei Shinian hesitated unexpectedly.
He moved his gaze slightly away, staring at the two teacups, and reconsidered.
He had been tortured by guilt these days. Today, when he came to resolve things, he had to, or else he might lose sleep in the future.
D*mn it, kissing once was still kissing, kissing twice was still kissing. As a straight guy, why was he being such a coward?
Jing Si cautiously leaned closer.
For a moment, Pei Shinian stiffened, closed his eyes firmly, convincing himself it was just a peck on the cheek.
The moment his lips felt the soft touch, Pei Shinian’s fingers trembled, and it felt like an explosion in his mind.
As the warm fingers holding the teacup touched his neck, the hand gently lifted his chin.
Pei Shinian grabbed that wrist, feeling the rapid pulse.
He held his breath, enduring the gradually deepening kiss, but his heartbeat was becoming uncontrollably intense. Unlike the previous impulsive kiss, Jing Si’s kiss this time was gentle yet forceful.
He was pushed backward until he had no way out, leaning against the refrigerator, and was then pushed onto the sofa amid the intertwined hot breaths and increasingly passionate kisses.
During the process, Pei Shinian felt increasingly uneasy.
With a sudden panic in his heartbeat, he abruptly opened his eyes, immediately pushing the person hovering above him away.
Jing Si retreated slightly, breathing a bit heavily, eyes reddening. He slightly smirked, looking down, “No feeling?”
“!!!”
Pei Shinian’s face turned red in an instant.
This was unexpected, absolutely unexpected.
Pushing the person away abruptly, Pei Shinian stood up with a bright red face, grabbed the fallen coat sleeve, turned around, and was about to leave.
Jing Si grabbed the hat of the cowardly guy’s coat and pulled it back, “Don’t go out and embarrass yourself.”
Pulled back, Pei Shinian subconsciously glanced at him.
The guy who was actually gay seemed a lot calmer.
The straight guy, embarrassed, said angrily, “That didn’t count just now!”
Jing Si nodded understandingly, “Want to try again?”
“Try my ass!” Pei Shinian resisted the urge to punch someone, fumed in anger and helplessness, “I’m telling you, not just in this life, even in the next life and the one after that, I’ll still be a straight guy!”
“Okay.”
“Yeah, right!” Pei Shinian found his calm demeanor irritating, “Where are the mantises? You tricked me into your home with your deceitful ways, you perverted bastard. If you can’t produce exactly what’s in those pictures, I’ll make you regret it!”
Jing Si, suppressing a laugh, didn’t dare to laugh too blatantly, continued to stroke the straight guy’s fur, “I didn’t deceive you. Let me show you, wait.”
With Jing Si going into the pet room, Pei Shinian slipped away.
What the hell was he even looking at?
Frantically pressing the elevator buttons, Pei Shinian’s heart pounded, feeling dizzy.
Impossible.
He couldn’t possibly like men.
It was all that despicable perverted guy’s trick!
Pretending to be gentle and coaxing him.
Jing Si was just a scumbag!