Part 3 of Chapter 47
This chapter is brought to you by Yobikir, thanks for the ko-fi! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･
Do You Still Hate Her? 37 – A romance variety show that doesn’t feel quite romance
Once they’re all inside, the director spoke with a sense of purpose, “Welcome, everyone, to <The Most Loved Her and Him>. Tomorrow marks the first episode of our romance variety show. Here are the rules: it’s divided into three segments – morning, afternoon, and evening. Each resident guest will have a date with three opposite-sex resident guests. However, Teacher Yu Su and Teacher Ou Yi won’t participate in these dates. They will serve as love observers, guiding the audience as we all watch together.
“The date will be divided into three different scenarios: couples in the early stages of passionate love, engaged couples who have been together for some time and are preparing for marriage, and couples in the ‘seven-year itch’ phase experiencing a cold war.”
Because Shang Lu performed exceptionally well in the escape room, her privilege this time is to choose her date partners for each of the different scenarios, while others will have to draw lots after her selection.
After some thought, Shang Lu decided on the order of the performances and said, “Ye Lu, Xu Ze, Song Zeqian.”
A staff member asked, “Why did Teacher Shang choose Teacher Ye to play the role of a couple in the passionate love stage?”
Ye Lu immediately sat up straight, waiting to hear Shang Lu’s praise.
Shang Lu answered honestly, “Couples in this stage are more likely to break up.”
Ye Lu : “?”
[Hahaha, Shang Lu has a point. Engaged couples have probably met each other’s parents, and if they’ve been married for a few years, especially if they have a child, it’ll be harder to break up. It’s simpler for couples in the passionate love stage to want to break up.]
[So Shang Lu chose Ye Lu because he’s probably the easiest to break up with (definitely).]
[Among these three, if you choose a boyfriend, Ye Lu is indeed the easiest to make angry (definitely).]
[The program team did a good job selecting these three stages of love and marriage.]
[Because of love, starting life, and becoming numb.]
After Shang Lu made her choices, the next step was random assignment.
In the order from passionate love couples to engaged couples and then to married couples, Lin Yanyan drew Song Zeqian, Ye Lu, and Xu Ze, while Jiang Jing drew Xu Ze, Song Zeqian, and Ye Lu.
Then the program team directly announced that the first date location tomorrow morning would be on the campus, with Shang Lu and Ye Lu, Lin Yanyan and Song Zeqian, and Jiang Jing and Xu Ze forming the three groups to enter together.
They each have to draw a persona card tomorrow morning, and they must speak and act according to the persona they draw for the entire morning. There will be eight online dating observers, along with Ou Yi and Yu Su watching them. Once more than half of the observers believe they have done something that breaks their persona, the observers can press the corresponding button. The wristbands worn by the guests will administer a mild electric shock as punishment.
In the end, the staff will tally the number of times each guest was shocked during their three segments of dating due to breaking their persona. The guest with the fewest total shocks, in other words, the one who has the most intact persona, will have the production team donate one million in their name as a scholarship for rural left-behind children.
The first thing they will do after breakfast the next morning is draw their persona card.
There are a total of six persona cards: [Aloof] [Gentle] [Cute] [Sharp-tongued] [Tsundere] [Reliable].
Ou Yi reminded Shang Lu, “You should wash your hands to have good luck.”
Shang Lu didn’t believe it, so she ended up drawing the [Cute] card, which she didn’t really want. She looked at Ye Lu and found out that he had drawn the [Aloof] card.
Shang Lu was a bit curious, “I’ve never seen the aloof side of Ye Lu.”
Ye Lu snorted and immediately put on a cold expression, “You’re about to see it.”
Lin Yanyan, who drew the [Reliable] card, envied Song Zeqian because he got the [Sharp-tongued] card that perfectly matched his image, allowing him to act naturally.
Xu Ze, on the other hand, had no expression when he drew the [Tsundere] card. His partner, Jiang Jing, also had the [Gentle] card, which suited her persona well.
The program team emphasized once again that from now on, they all had to act according to their personas.
And these persona cards have a lot of restrictions.
For example, Shang Lu drew the [Cute] card, so until her ‘relationship’ with Ye Lu ends, she must use a reduplicative word in every sentence.
As for Ye Lu, who drew the [Aloof] card, from this moment on, he cannot display any expressions and must maintain a poker face. Moreover, he can only speak in two-word sentences.
If a character breaks their persona ten times in the same role, the romantic relationship will be terminated immediately.
Ye Lu, who is usually quite talkative : “?”
The others aren’t faring any better. Different personas come with their unique restrictions, and it’s actually quite challenging for everyone.
They all ride in a regular, unmodified bus on their way to the campus.
On the other side, in the live broadcast room of Ou Yi and Yu Su, the two observers go live as well.
Ou Yi, full of enthusiasm, says, “Hello, everyone. I’m observer Ou Yi. Welcome to <The Most Loved Her and Him>. Today, we’ll witness three reluctant couples in love and show you what it means when love doesn’t come naturally.”
Yu Su adds, “I’m observer Yu Su. In the first segment today, couples in the passionate love phase will have breakfast together on their way to school. The girlfriend has prepared a homemade breakfast for her boyfriend.”
At the same time, the bus’s speakers announce this task and encourage them to display as much sweetness as possible as a couple in the passionate love phase.
A homemade breakfast? Where can they find that?
Shang Lu looks puzzled, and then she sees the staff handing three backpacks, one to her, one to Lin Yanyan, and one to Jiang Jing.
Shang Lu opens her backpack and indeed finds a meal box inside.
Shang Lu opens the meal box.
In the first second, Shang Lu showed a disgusted expression.
In the second second, when she realized it wasn’t for her to eat, she smiled.
Shang Lu looked at Ye Lu and said in a lively voice, “This is the breakfast I personally made for you. You must eat it all, okayie-pokie~?”
The corner of Ye Lu’s lips twitched slightly as he struggled to control his expression. To maintain his image, he only said one word, “Gross… Oh.”
Nonsense.
Who wouldn’t feel nauseous at the sight of strawberry stir-fried meat right after breakfast?
Clearly, Ye Lu didn’t want to eat it.
However, Shang Lu picked up a spoonful and offered it to Ye Lu, saying, “Open wide-wide!”
Ye Lu : “…”
Ye Lu reluctantly took a bite.
The taste wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was strange.
And then, Ye Lu was fed several more bites. Shang Lu had a sweet smile on her face, while Ye Lu tried to keep his cool and suppress the twitching corners of his lips.
The other two couples weren’t faring any better.
Every lunchbox they opened had similarly strange combinations of fruits and vegetables stir-fried together.
[Don’t talk about sweet love; I can see they’re suffering.]
[Hahaha, the three male guests are miserable.]
The staff continued to announce, “Boyfriends, after eating the heartfelt breakfast made by your girlfriends, please provide different evaluations based on your personalities.”
Song Zeqian : “It’s so unpalateable, please don’t make it again next time.”
Xu Ze : “It’s not tasty, but next time… maybe, you can make it again.”
Ye Lu : “Terrible.”
Song Zeqian and Xu Ze corresponded to the personas of [Sharp-tongued] and [Tsundere], so both of their answers were on point.
Only Ye Lu was shocked.
Ye Lu asked directly, “Why only me?”
Before he could finish speaking, he was shocked for the second time.
Shang Lu then explained to him, “The first time, Song Zeqian and Xu Ze corresponded to the roles of [Sharp-tongued] and [Tsundere], so they’re allowed to criticize it. But how can you, with your [Aloof] personality, directly criticize your girlfriend’s skills during the passionate love period? The second time was because you exceeded two words, so be a teeny-weeny bit more careful.”
Shang Lu always remembered to use reduplications in her speech.
Ye Lu could be said to be like a mute person forced to eat bitter medicine, unable to express his pain. However, he dared not show a painful expression, fearing that if he broke his [Aloof] character again, he would receive a third punishment.
And then, there was a twist.
The production team continued to announce, “The boyfriends were deeply moved by the loving lunchboxes prepared by their girlfriends, so they took out the vegetable and fruit juice they had personally squeezed from their bags under the chairs, ensuring their beauty-conscious girlfriends don’t forget their skincare routine every day.”
[Haha, indeed! The program team treats male and female guests equally, no one can escape]
[Fairly persecuting everyone]
Watching Ye Lu take out a bottle of bitter gourd juice from his bag, Shang Lu’s expression changed in an instant.
Ye Lu looked at her, “Drink up.”
Shang Lu forced a ‘smile’ and said, “Thankie-thanks.”
rokumi’s note : Shang Lu’s forced reduplicative words is a real torture… both as translator and as reader.🫣🫣