The director turned to Shen Wanwan and announced:
“Shen Wanwan, Qi Luozhou—you’re a team.”
Shao Yuye looked like he’d been struck by lightning. His fur instantly bristled as he exploded, “Did you mess up?!”
His little sister, on a team with Qi Luozhou?!
Meanwhile, Shen Wanwan stood off to the side with her arms crossed, utterly calm. The director had deliberately dragged things out to tease everyone earlier, and she’d already known there was no way she’d be teamed up with her brother.
She reached out and lightly patted her brother on the shoulder. “It’s fine. We can be on a team another time.”
[Hahahaha, obviously, not having to team up with his mortal enemy, God Zhou quietly breathes a sigh of relief!]
[Holy crap! ‘WanZhou’ shippers are ecstatic!]
[Why does Shao Yuye look so reluctant to part?]
[Laughing to death, if I were Shao Yuye, I wouldn’t want my partner switched either. Teaming up with Shen Wanwan would be so fun!]
[Yeah, and Shen Wanwan’s finally playing to her strengths now. If physical strength isn’t her thing, she uses her brain. She and Brother Ye are a perfect match!]
[Wuwuwu, my ‘Petty Reveng Duo’… how could it be dismantled just like that, TAT]
[It’s fine, ‘WanZhou’ can take over. Keep going, keep shining!]
Although the audience accepted the team results pretty well, Shao Yuye was still seething. In his anger, he swept a glance sideways at Qi Luozhou, just in time to see Qi Luozhou curve his lips into yet another smile.
The little flame in Shao Yuye’s heart instantly flared up with the wind. He sneered coldly, “Lucky bastard.”
Qi Luozhou’s response was to walk over to the director, pick up a team uniform, and hand it to Shen Wanwan.
A pink pullover hoodie. On an autumn day like this, it carried a special kind of warmth.
As Shen Wanwan reached out to take it, Qi Luozhou tilted his head toward Shao Yuye, the corner of his mouth lifting into a provocative smile.
Watching Qi Luozhou’s smug, spring-breeze smile, Shao Yuye felt dazed for a moment, as if he could hear an unspoken reply drifting through the air.
—”Jealous?”
凸(艹皿艹)
So damn punchable!
Unable to help himself, he faced the camera directly and blurted out, “Lin Kexin! Lin Kexin, have you been sleeping well these past few days?”
The live comments instantly erupted into laughter again.
[Brother Ye’s 40-meter-long blade has been unsheathed!]
[@Lin Kexin, be careful when you go out lately. I’m afraid Brother Ye’s coming to assassinate you.]
Still full of resentment, even after calling out Lin Kexin, Shao Yuye remained dissatisfied with Shen Wanwan and Qi Luozhou wearing the same-colored uniforms. He turned sideways and complained to Jiang Yuan, “The production team, seriously. Early on they don’t do team uniforms, later they don’t do them either, but they just have to pull out this flashy nonsense now!”
Jiang Yuan said, “Mainly it makes it easier for the audience to tell the teams apart. You can see it at a glance by color.”
That explanation finally made Shao Yuye feel a bit better.
He picked up his blue uniform and looked at it again and again… somehow, he still felt the pink one looked better!
Over there, Bai Ling and Su Tingxuan stood together. That faint hint of ambiguity that had once lingered between them had already dissipated without anyone noticing.
Bai Ling stared blankly at Qi Luozhou and Shen Wanwan, feeling especially downcast.
If it were only Shao Yuye treating Shen Wanwan differently, that would be one thing…
But now, she could clearly sense an indescribable, unnameable emotion flowing between Shen Wanwan and Qi Luozhou as well.
She didn’t know if it was just her imagination.
After everyone changed into their team uniforms and returned, the challenge of this stop officially began.
Jiang Yuan, now in a blue uniform, walked over to Shao Yuye and muttered softly, “Am I really cursed or something? Why do I always get assigned to the singles team…”
The comments burst into laughter:
[Jiang Yuan: Does nobody want to speak up for me?]
[The show’s already more than halfway through, and Jiang Yuan has been ‘the king’s man’ from start to finish. The only difference is he moved from God Zhou’s side to Brother Ye’s side, hahahahaha!]
[I swear, I’m laughing myself sick. Baby Yuan just wants to team up with a girl, why won’t anyone give him a chance?! ]
Shao Yuye raised an eyebrow, dissatisfied. “What’s wrong with being single?”
He was a man determined to stay single for life!
“What singles team? We’re the Certain Victory team!”
Jiang Yuan : “……”
As expected of you.
Just as he was about to speak, Shao Yuye suddenly fixed him with a determined gaze and thrust out an arm.
“Certain!”
Jiang Yuan’s pupils trembled twice.
His mind was full of what is this, what is this…
Even though he had no idea what Shao Yuye was about to do, he still cooperated and extended his arm…
Under Shao Yuye’s guidance, the two crossed their arms, forming a big X!
Shao Yuye: “You say ‘Victory.’”
Jiang Yuan, confused: “Victory?”
Shao Yuye: “Certain!”
Jiang Yuan: “Victory!”
“Certain!”
“Victory!”
“Certain!”
“Victory!”
[What kind of new nonsense is Brother Ye pulling now…]
[Not gonna lie, I’m starting to think Brother Ye might be a walking meme.]
[Hahahahaha I’m about to pass out laughing. What even is this?! Two walking memes! I’m dead!]
[Jiang Yuan is such a serious guy, and Brother Ye’s dragged his whole vibe off course. I’m laughing so hard I’m choking!]
Shao Yuye withdrew his hand and patted Jiang Yuan on the shoulder with satisfaction.
“Very good.”
“You’ve grasped the essence.”
Shao Yuye snapped into seriousness in an instant and began questioning him. “What’s our goal?”
Jiang Yuan hesitated, then answered uncertainly, “…Certain victory?”
Shao Yuye shot him an approving look.
“And our slogan?!”
Jiang Yuan answered instantly: “Certain Victory?!”
Shao Yuye’s gaze burned. “And our guiding principle is—?!”
Jiang Yuan, brimming with fighting spirit: “Certain! Victory!”
[Hahaha help, this feels like I’ve wandered into a pyramid scheme seminar!]
[How did I never realize Brother Ye was this good at brainwashing?!]
[Jiang Yuan!!! Wake up! I suspect Brother Ye is CPU-ing1 you! ]
Shao Yuye nodded in satisfaction.
His next goal was clear. Speed through the levels like crazy and do everything possible to get a partner-swap item card, so he could swap his sister back!
That meant Jiang Yuan had to keep up with his pace and charge forward with him at full force!
Everyone’s attention was drawn to the two of them, and for a moment the whole place fell silent.
Until Zhang Yiran couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing with a snort, teasing them, “How old are you two?”
Only then did Jiang Yuan snap out of Shao Yuye’s brainwashing, dazed and confused, the little man in his head launching a triple soul-searching question.
—Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?
The barrage comments were already in hysterics:
[The vibe of Brother Ye just now was totally like some MLM-style self-motivation speech!!]
[Jiang Yuan is his first victim, hahaha! Baby Yuan, use your brain a bit!]
[My eyes!! My eyes!! Brother Ye, I never thought you were this kind of person…]
[Suddenly feel like Brother Ye was born to be an idol, and one who’ll never have a scandal either. (Not saying Brother Ye deserves to stay single.)]
[Hahaha the clarification in the comment above is really something!]
Watching from the side, Shen Wanwan couldn’t stop laughing either.
Qi Luozhou turned his head and asked with interest, “So what’s our team name?”
The pink color made his complexion look less cold.
There was still a smile at the corner of Shen Wanwan’s lips as she silently mouthed a reply to him.
—“The husband-and-wife team.”
Qi Luozhou paused for a moment, then understood.
She really was far too good at surprising people.
No buildup, completely out of the blue.
He let out a soft laugh.
The venue was noisy.
All the teams’ individual livestream rooms were still being set up, and each group was chatting among themselves. Shen Wanwan spoke very softly, so the audience only heard Qi Luozhou’s question at the start, but not her answer.
On top of that, Zhang Yiran, who was standing next to Shen Wanwan, took a step over to avoid Jin Xiaoyu’s grabby hands. His broad body immediately blocked Shen Wanwan from view.
The barrage instantly became restless:
[What did Shen Wanwan say? God Zhou is smiling so happily!]
[Damn it, Zhang Yiran, why are you standing over there?! Go back!!!]
[I’m level-ten at lip-reading!! If you’d just give me the shot, I could definitely read it! Damn you, Zhang Yiran, I hate you!!]
001 thought Shen Wanwan was way too bold, and clung to her shoulder to analyze things rationally with her:
{Aren’t you afraid you’ll tease the male lead too far?
{Even though he doesn’t have a yandere personality, he’s still the kind who can pick you up and do things to you.}
As it said this, the little light orb’s body turned a bit pink.
Ahhh, what nonsense was it spouting?!
Shen Wanwan deliberately teased it, “Is he good at it?”
001’s little face turned bright red: {…Yes.}
“Mm, that’s good then.”
Shen Wanwan replied calmly, and continued without a hint of embarrassment, “When we’re being intimate, will you be watching from the side too?”
001 was so scared it trembled all over:
{No!! When you two flirt, I’ll enter sleep mode!
{I’m not a pervert, why would I spy on you?!}
“OK.”
After teasing the little light orb, the production team finally finished setting up and turned on the team livestreams.
Countless fans flooded into Shen Wanwan and Qi Luozhou’s livestream room, and the popularity kept climbing.
At the same time, the director announced that the team ranked first on the daily popularity chart would receive an extra item card as a reward.
Shao Yuye had been in the middle of brainwashing Jiang Yuan, but his eyes lit up the moment he heard that rule.
“What does that mean?”
[Wow! The director team’s schemes are way too deep!!!]
[Is the ‘Fish vs. Boat2’ war starting again?! ]
[👏😈 Sitting back to watch a once-in-a-century showdown!]
Shao Yuye and Qi Luozhou had been rivals for ages, so naturally their fans never got along either.
A top-tier star’s prestige could not be lost.
The fight for first and second place was always the biggest highlight.
Ever since Qi Luozhou and Shao Yuye joined this variety show, the two openly competed, while in secret their fans also fought fiercely. The first and second places on the popularity chart shifted every hour, with the ‘Yu Yu’s and the ‘Xiao Chuan’s locked in constant battle.
The show’s popularity chart was judged based on the activity level of bullet comments in each livestream room. For any single account, only one comment within five minutes counted as one vote.
Once fans heard that the popularity chart could directly help their favorites, every single one of them went all out, shouting and spamming with renewed energy.
The two sides’ votes instantly began doubling, biting at each other tightly, determined to fight to the bitter end.
At that moment, Shao Yuye stood at attention, gave a respectful bow to the camera, and said politely:
“I’ll leave the item cards to everyone, then.”
[Ahhh! Brother Ye, how badly do you want to keep teaming up with Shen Wanwan?!]
[I’m dying of laughter. Others might want to team with Shen Wanwan because of her. But if Brother Ye is trying this hard to get Shen Wanwan back to his side… there’s only one reason—he! wants! to! win!]
[Stop arguing, everyone! Since Brother Ye wants to charge for first place, let’s help push him up there!!! Take God Zhou down!]
[Take him down! Take him down!]
The ‘Yu Yu’s were instantly fired up.
Over on the ‘Xiao Chuan’s’ side, their fighting spirit was ignited as well—
[God Zhou never fights or competes, but we can’t let him lose his prestige just because he’s chill! Sisters, charge!! Vote, vote, vote!!]
Since the two teams had swapped one member each, their starting progress was the same. They would both begin from the third stage.
The third stage’s task was very simple.
Each pair of guests had to blow up balloons, then release them from the starting line. Using the force of the escaping air, the balloons would fly forward. As long as both balloons crossed the yellow line set by the production team, the challenge was a success.
The balloons provided by the production team were color-coded.
Shao Yuye and Jiang Yuan got blue ones;
Qi Luozhou and Shen Wanwan got pink ones.
Shao Yuye glanced at the finish line and felt this stage should be easy.
“Three minutes.
“Let’s clear it fast.”
- In Chinese internet slang, CPU is used as a verb to mean gaslighting, brainwashing, or psychological manipulation. It originated from a viral clip where someone accidentally said “CPU” when they meant to say PUA (Pick-Up Artist). In China, “PUA” became a broad term for toxic emotional control or workplace negging. Because “CPU” sounds vaguely similar and relates to “processing/programming” someone’s mind, the internet turned it into a meme. ↩︎
- Just a reminder : Shao Yuye’s fandom ‘Yu Yu’ means fish and Qi Luozhou’s fandom ‘Xiao Chuan’ means little boat. ↩︎