---

Chapter 143: Do You Like It?

---

Under the influence of Cen Wan, Zhou Muxian began to think rationally about his situation with Jin Yuan, more or less.

Love is a joyful thing, but people still have to live realistically.

When Zhou Muxian was caught up in complicated emotions and couldn’t break free, Jin Yuan called him on a video call.

Zhou Muxian rubbed his face and pulled himself together to answer the call. He saw Jin Yuan sitting on an outdoor balcony with beautiful scenery, obviously overseas.

“Are you busy?” Jin Yuan asked with a faint smile.

The magnetic voice came through the phone and sounded even more appealing.

The person who was still troubled just a moment ago suddenly relaxed, as if the emotions that had been bothering him for days had vanished in an instant. He suddenly felt a tragic desire to die for love.

“No, what are you doing? Did you take the kids out for a trip? Is it a homestay? The environment seems nice.”

Zhou Muxian didn’t even realize that his lazy voice contained a hint of sweetness. When had he ever spoken to anyone else with such a voice besides him?

Jin Yuan smiled with his eyes downcast. Clearly he was a man, but for some reason, Zhou Muxian felt like he could see all kinds of charm in his features.

It was charm, not lust, and he was quite certain of that.

Although he has seen many beautiful men and women, he wonders if Jin Yuan has given him some sort of drug, as he now finds him unexpectedly attractive.

He was beginning to understand why popular idols and stars, who may not have exceptional talent or acting skills, could easily attract a large audience to their events just by showing up and performing a little bit.

Even if Jin Yuan didn’t say anything, just looking at his face could make Zhou Muxian happy for a whole day.

“I’ll show you what the inside of the house looks like.” Jin Yuan said, then turned the camera on his phone to show the inside and outside of the villa.

It was clearly not a Chinese-style villa, with a more European style, but it was hard to tell which country it was from.

Every detail, from the placement of the sofa to the color scheme, the minimalist design of the walls, the decor in the room, the color of the sheets, the rocking chairs, and tea tables on the indoor balcony – everything is the style that Zhou Muxian loves the most.

“This is so beautiful! Where did you find such a homestay?” Zhou Muxian exclaimed while looking at the footage on his phone.

Jin Yuan switched the camera to the front-facing one and sat down on the rocking chair to talk to him. “Do you like it?”

“Of course! Send me the information of this homestay. If I have time, I’ll also decorate my house like this,” Zhou Muxian replied.

Jin Yuan smiled and said, “No need to go through all that trouble. Besides, when do you have the time to decorate?”

Zhou Muxian sighed regretfully, “You’re right. Although I love it, it’s not meant to be. But I can visit next time.”

“Who says it’s not meant to be?” the person on the other end of the phone laughed.

Zhou Muxian was confused, “Huh? What does that have to do with me? Wait…this house?”

“I knew you would like it, so I bought it and had it decorated according to your preferences,” Jin Yuan said casually.

Even though they were only on a video call, Jin Yuan’s words made Zhou Muxian’s heart beat faster.

“Why…why didn’t you consult with me first?” he said, trying to cover up his smile with his hand.

Jin Yuan moved his face closer to the phone, as if he was getting closer to Zhou Muxian.

“I have said everything, what’s the point of continuing?” he said.

“You’re right, but I…oh my, this is so sudden,” Zhou Muxian said, blushing as he buried his face in his arms.

Jin Yuan said, “There’s no need to feel any pressure. You said you liked the Netherlands, and when I brought Ranran over for a tour, we stumbled upon this house, which looked pretty good, so I bought it. It’s not like I’m asking you to move your work here in the future. You can use it as a vacation base, and we can come and play when we have time.”

Zhou Muxian was not a naive boy who had never seen the world, but he was still thrown off balance by this substantial sugar-coated bomb. Everything was beyond his expectations, and yet it all hit him right where it mattered most.

He remembered that when he was in Venice, he had casually mentioned to Jin Yuan what style of home decoration and what kind of house he liked. He thought it was just a meaningless conversation between two bored people, but Jin Yuan remembered it and now presented him with the house he liked.

For someone as wealthy as him, the value of the house was no longer the focus, but the other person’s intentions were the most important.

“You, were you intentionally leading me on back then?” Zhou Muxian asked with a slightly playful tone.

Jin Yuan naturally wouldn’t admit it and said, “No, I just remember everything you said.”

As he spoke, he picked up a plate of small grapes and raised it in front of the camera. The size and color were exactly what Zhou Muxian had described as his favorite “Rose Scented Grape”.

“Ah! You’re not allowed to tempt me with grapes!”

Jin Yuan picked up a grape and whispered as he placed it into his mouth, “If I wanted to tempt you, would I need grapes?”

Zhou Muxian said, “Go away~”

“No.”

“You’re really annoying.”

“Even if I’m annoying, I’m not leaving.”

“I also want to eat rose-scented grapes.”

“I’ve already mailed them to you in China. If you check the logistics, they should arrive this afternoon.”

“That’s great~”

“Of course!”

Jin Ranran clasped her shoulders and looked at her dad on the balcony talking some lovey-dovey words to his forget-me-nots, making her feel goosebumps all over. She looked up at the ceiling and questioned her life choices.

She had seen her uncle in love before, and it was perfectly normal. But why did her dad have to be so insane?

With her uncle as an example, Ranran was open-minded about same-sex relationships. Although she had a crush on guys like Wu Yanzu, Peng Yuyan, Guo Degang, Zhu Yilong, Luo Yunxi, and Yiyang Qianxi, and was heterosexual herself, she didn’t object to her only two relatives being gay.

In a way, it was beneficial that her dad liked boys. After all, if she didn’t have a stepmom, she wouldn’t have to share his attention with any siblings.

Come to think of it, having a stepdad might not be too bad either~

The little girl took off her shoes and tapped her toes. One step at a time, small footprints appeared on the screen unexpectedly. She showed a bright smile to Zhou Muxian and waved in a friendly manner.

The person who was originally leisurely eating grapes and sitting on a lounge chair was suddenly startled, and the phone snapped onto their face with a click.

End of Chapter 143

---

---

Chapter 142: The Weak Willow Supports the Wind¹

---

When Zhou Mushi announced that Wang Jiexi was going to stay at home for a while, Zhou Qingwen’s expression showed some indescribable embarrassment.

He didn’t want to deny his son or prevent him from staying at home, but the suddenness of the situation left him unprepared.

Wang Jiexi has always been carefree, but seeing Zhou Qingwen in a flustered state and with an awkward expression made him feel somewhat uneasy, and even a little discouraged.

He always thought he could face Zhou Qingwen calmly, but when he actually arrived at Zhou’s house, he felt somewhat uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Zhou Mushi couldn’t stand to see his father acting so aloof, and showed no sign of affection towards Wang Jiexi.

He immediately pulled him aside and had the housekeeper clean the guest room next to his.

He only hoped that the warmth of the family would give Wang Jiexi hope to live on and increase his confidence in surviving. If he could still be treated, that would be the best. But even if there was no cure, he could at least die in happiness.

He had oversimplified the situation, as the Zhou family was not particularly warm, especially given the current complex circumstances.

At the time, Zhou Mushi didn’t think much about it. He settled Wang Jiexi down. Adult family life was very different from that of children. They hurriedly ate breakfast and went to work in the morning, and then had dinner and returned to their own rooms at night.

He often thought about how to understand Wang Jiexi’s current situation better, but he didn’t want to be too abrupt and risk driving him away.

Zhou Mushi was in a state of conflict every day, uncertain about how to broach the subject.

Wang Jiexi had two meals by his side every day, and seeing that Zhou Mushi had a healthy appetite, it does not seem that he is in a state of malnourishment.

He eats everything, and the diet seems to be well-balanced. From the surface, it appears that there is no problem with him.

However, gradually over the course of a few days, he discovered that it was all just a facade. It had only been a few days, but the person who used to eat well visibly lost weight, appearing even more frail.

This is not a good thing for him.

One day when it was cloudy and rainy, Zhou Mushi couldn’t stop coughing. The incessant coughing made his internal organs feel like they were about to be coughed up. He went to the hospital to see a doctor.

He was originally in relatively good health, but now he looks like a medicine bottle. He has been taking medicine for eight days out of ten, and his whole body appears to be well, but in reality, he has been severely depleted.

After a comprehensive examination, there doesn’t seem to be any major problems and the doctor couldn’t pinpoint what went wrong.

However, Zhou Mushi knew it deep down in his heart. Maybe he should see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor.

Perhaps the Chinese medicine doctor would diagnose him with mental depression and stagnation of the five internal organs.

He had been trying his best to deal with Jin Yang’s sudden departure by pouring all his energy into other things, such as taking good care of Wang Jiexi, eating well, sleeping early, and going to work diligently. He was doing everything perfectly.

A formerly careless person had turned himself into a meticulous perfectionist, even spending time arranging the direction of the toothbrush and buying very white towels. He would spend a lot of time washing them after they got dirty.

Everything seemed to be proceeding in an orderly manner, and he appeared to be a good person.

But only he knew the extent of his own discomfort.

On countless nights when he took sleeping pills, he woke up crying in bed, and the feeling of staying awake all night made him very anxious. He wished he could immediately push open the window and jump out, but Zhou Mushi couldn’t do that. He could only endure it and persevere, thinking that as long as he worked hard, he would be able to get through it.

He constantly brainwashed himself mentally, but physically he became like Lin Daiyu².

He didn’t like his current state at all, and he didn’t believe in phrases like “longing becomes a sickness” before, but reality constantly slapped him in the face, and it hurt.

When it was severe, he couldn’t help but cry when he saw a man on the street wearing clothes similar to those of Jin Yang.

Retreat to a corner, hold back one’s sorrowful emotions, wipe them away, dry one’s tears, and continue working.

Sometimes, work is also very annoying. Especially with the new director sent by Yucheng Group to cooperate with them. In Zhou Mushi’s eyes, the director is simply a fool. He cannot understand how someone like him could climb to such a high position, and wonders if he is simply bribing the company?

Is this new director really that bad?

Not necessarily. Although his level is slightly lower than Jin Yang’s, he is still a hardworking young person who shines brightly in his job position.

Zhou Mushi’s temper became inexplicably strange. He looked down on people, but he didn’t intentionally create trouble for anyone. However, at least during the cooperation, the new director from Yucheng Group never saw a good expression from Zhou Mushi.

He seemed to always be in a gloomy mood. The men in the Zhou family were originally gentle and refined. It was okay when they were usually bright and cheerful, but once they had that expression for too long, it made people think of them as despicable. It felt like you couldn’t offend this type of person, and if you did, they could do anything.

People with high IQs have plenty of ways to mess with someone, such as killing and dismembering them, smiling while stabbing someone with a knife, and then framing others right in front of their eyes.

Zhou Mushi didn’t realize the impression he had left on the cooperating party had already reached this point.

At the end of the cooperation, the director from Yucheng Group sent Zhou’s group off with trepidation, sweating profusely in the air-conditioned room.

Only then did he realize that the former director Jin who had worked with Zhou’s group was an absolutely outstanding talent.

Who could work long-term with the president of Zhou’s group? It would be frightening after a while. Although the man was handsome, the way he looked at him made him feel like he wanted to kill him on the spot.

Alas, he only hoped that the company’s future cooperation with Zhou’s group could be reduced, or someone else could be sent to cooperate with them. If he was sent again, he would rather quit, it was too scary!

In a relatively undeveloped small city, Jin Yang flipped through the calendar as he lived out the last days of his life.

The process of slowly walking towards death was not so difficult. Just gently and quietly face your future days.

When he was bored, he took out his phone and looked at the videos and photos he had taken of Zhou Mushi in advance.

It’s hard to imagine that he had secretly taken over a thousand photos and more than 80 videos of Zhou Mushi. These were his treasures, which could accompany him through the last period of his life.

He caressed the smiling face of the person in his phone and returned the same smile.

“May we meet again in the next life.”

End of Chapter 142

---

1. “弱柳扶风” (Ruò liǔ fúfēng) is a metaphorical expression in Chinese that describes a situation where a weak or fragile individual or thing is able to provide support or assistance to a stronger force. It suggests that even though the willow tree may be weak and flexible, it is still able to withstand strong winds and provide support to the wind, which represents a powerful force. The phrase is often used to describe situations where a seemingly weaker or less significant person or thing is able to contribute to a larger goal or achieve success in the face of adversity. ↩︎
2. Lin Daiyu is a character from the Chinese classic novel “Dream of the Red Chamber” written by Cao Xueqin. She is a beautiful and talented young woman who is depicted as melancholic and tragic, and is known for her poetry and love for the male protagonist, Jia Baoyu. ↩︎

---

---

Chapter 141: Elder Brother is Like a Friend, Younger Brother is Like a Son

---

This restaurant’s beef noodles are extremely delicious. Don’t judge it by its small storefront, it is a rare gem of a restaurant.

Neither of them had eaten much for lunch, so when they smelled the fragrant bowl of noodles, they both suddenly felt hungry. Nothing was more important than eating right now. They each picked up a bowl of noodles and buried their heads in the bowl to eat.

Wang Jiexi has always had a good appetite, and if eating were considered a skill, he would definitely be an expert.

Zhou Mushi ate carefully and looked at Wang Jiexi’s eating style, feeling a bit sad.

He was clearly at death’s door, yet he was still pretending to be fine in front of others. He was trying his best to eat like a good person, taking big mouthfuls of food, which made Zhou Mushi feel sorry for him.

Thinking about this, he felt even more sorry for Wang Jiexi.

After all, he was a brother who shared the same flesh and blood, and he must find a way to help him.

Considering Wang Jiexi’s current physical condition, being in his early twenties and strong as an ox, he couldn’t fathom why Zhou Mushi would pity him so much.

While eating, he was thinking about how to help Jin Yang cover up the truth.

Zhou Mushi didn’t speak for a long time, maybe he still didn’t know, otherwise how could he wait for him to finish eating.

Men always eat faster. In no time, they finished the two bowls of noodles, and there was no reason to delay any longer, so they said everything that needed to be said.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you? Why did you come to the hospital?” Zhou Mushi asked in a gentle tone.

“I have a friend (Jin Yang) who is seriously ill. I came to consult a familiar doctor,” Wang Jiexi explained.

Zhou Mushi sighed inwardly and thought to himself: People in this world are all the same. When something happens to themselves, they insist on saying ‘a friend of mine’. Who doesn’t know that this friend is actually themselves? This child still wants to hide it, sigh! He is after all from our Zhou family. I can’t let my irresponsible father only care about his own pleasure and not care about his own son’s life and death.

“Um, I… actually wanted to ask if you would consider moving in with us?”

“What?” Wang Jiexi was shocked by Zhou Mushi’s proposal.

Seeing his strong reaction, Zhou Mushi thought to himself: It seems like he just wants to quietly die alone. This is too pitiful.

“Although it may seem abrupt, but ultimately you are still part of our family. The conflicts between our parent’s generation are not related to us. Even though Dad doesn’t say it on the surface, I know that he has been concerned about you since he found out that you are his son.”

Wang Jiexi breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t because of Jin Yang’s incident.

“In fact, I only came to do the DNA test to fulfill a long-standing wish. I’ve gotten used to my own life these years. He has never appeared in my world, so there’s no love or hate between us. You can tell him not to feel pressured. Didn’t he himself not even know about my existence? Since he doesn’t know about me, there’s no need for him to feel sorry towards me.”

Wang Jiexi spoke especially candidly. He sincerely confided in Zhou Mushi about Zhou Qingwen’s problem.

However, to Zhou Mushi’s ears, this did not sound very pleasant.

Wasn’t it obvious that he was mocking and taunting his father for being irresponsible? To the point where a child who was abandoned and left to fend for himself couldn’t even hope for a little father-son bond and didn’t want to cause trouble for anyone.

Zhou Mushi felt a pang of sadness, and he realized that his father really did owe people an apology. A child who was too obedient was not forced to be that way by life’s circumstances, and it was really pitiful to see.

“Now that you know, why don’t you try getting in touch with some more family members? Being together as a family, eating meals and chatting is also good.”

Wang Jiexi felt his head spinning. Clearly, he could see that Zhou Mushi was not in good spirits, and he suspected that it was because of Jin Yang’s situation. It was really heartbreaking, so why was Zhou Mushi so focused on trying to find a brother?

However, looking at his frail and weak body, it is really worrying. If he continues like this, it will be hard to say whether this person will exhaust himself before Jin Yang.

No matter what Zhou Mushi does now, as long as it can distract him and help him heal over time, it is hoped that his feelings for Jin Yang will gradually fade away and he will not feel so miserable.

However, it is unclear whether the Zhou family knows what he has been through. Most likely, they don’t, otherwise, how could they have allowed him to come to the hospital all alone, looking so pathetic?

He doesn’t have any love or hate towards the Zhou family, nor did he think about going back before. To be honest, he didn’t feel as strongly against them as he once did.

Since he has been entrusted by Jin Yang to take good care of Zhou Mushi, this is a good opportunity for him.

Thinking so, Wang Jiexi said, “What about you?”

“Me?” Zhou Mushi didn’t know what he was referring to.

“Are you also staying at home?… It’s a bit awkward if it’s just me.”

After experiencing with Jin Yang’s sudden departure, every time Zhou Mushi returned to the house he shared with Jin Yang, he often felt emotionally overwhelmed. Staying at his family’s home was also an option.

“Yeah, I’m also going back to stay. I’ll bring you with me.”

Life is always particularly strange. When Wang Jiexi liked the person in front of him, he immersed himself in fantasies, from when he could see Zhou Mushi again, to how to start a relationship with him, and even how to meet his parents. He had imagined all of this, but he never thought that just two years later, he would actually enter the door with Zhou Mushi because of these complicated reasons.

Not sure if it was his good fortune or a past life’s misdeeds that led to this.

On the day that Wang Jiexi entered the Zhou family’s home, Zhou Qingwen and his wife, who had just returned from a prenatal checkup, were completely dumbfounded.

They knew about Wang Jiexi’s situation, and although Zhou Qingwen felt guilty, he didn’t want to burden the child with an additional father figure if he had no interest in being one at the time. So he simply accepted the fact that they had an extra son and moved on.

But what was Wang Jiexi doing here today? Even though it was perfectly reasonable for their son to bring someone home from their own family, it still left Zhou Qingwen and his wife feeling confused.

What expression did Mushi have? He has been acting strange lately. Could it be that the upcoming addition of a child in the family is causing anxiety for Zhou Mushi?

That seems unlikely. It is said that nowadays, children react particularly strongly to the birth of a second child in the family. Could it be that their 26-year-old son has also developed a rebellious attitude, rejecting his stepmother’s baby in her belly to the extent of bringing back his illegitimate child from outside to compete for his sister’s love and the family’s assets?

Old Zhou felt that his mind was probably confused, while his well-intentioned child Mushi, dragging his weak body, was frantically signaling to his father with his eyes.

After carefully considering the meaning in his son’s eyes, Zhou Qingwen finally came to a conclusion: …he couldn’t understand it!

End of Chapter 141

---

---

Chapter 140: He is Sick

---

This is already the third time this month that Zhou Mushi has been admitted to the hospital. The first time was because of a stomach problem, the second time was due to a severe cold that made him dizzy, and the third time was due to a faint caused by low blood sugar.

Zhou Mushi hung the glucose drip and nibbling on chocolate in front of the bed. After this drip, he could go back. Low blood sugar is not a big deal and won’t take his life.

He accidentally saw Wang Jiexi. When he accompanied his father to complete the DNA test, he knew he had a half-brother with the same father but different mother.

Zhou Mushi was different from his brother. He understood early on that his parent’s marriage was not as harmonious as it appeared. They were just cohabiting, so his reaction to his father’s illegitimate child was not intense.

At that time, he had just finished his drip, and his hand was swollen because too much water had been administered. If he hadn’t been absent-minded and confused, he wouldn’t have wandered here.

He didn’t intentionally eavesdrop on Wang Jiexi’s conversation, really.

Zhou Mushi stood under the crabapple tree, checking his phone’s navigation. Who would have thought that someone who visits the hospital three times a month would get lost, not even knowing how to get out.

He happened to see Wang Jiexi consulting a middle-aged doctor about lung cancer.

Eavesdropping is impolite, so Zhou Mushi only listened to a few sentences with his ears propped up before quickly moving away. Afterwards, he sat alone on a public bench lost in thought.

Even though they didn’t grow up together, and no matter what happened between Wang Jiexi’s mother and father, which was a matter of the previous generation, Zhou Mushi couldn’t ignore the fact that he now knew Wang Jiexi was his own brother.

No wonder he didn’t show any intention of returning to the Zhou family even after finding out that he was their child. It turned out that there was such a big issue with his health.

Zhou Mushi had a soft heart, not at all like a stone. After learning about this matter, he couldn’t help but feel saddened.

After all, it is his brother who is related to him by blood. Lao Zhou is a shameless person who has never grown up with Wang Jiexi. I don’t know if this child grew up with his mother in a family without a father.

If his mother had remarried and started another family, Wang Jiexi would be in a really tough situation. Now that such a big thing has happened, he has to go to the hospital alone.

The more Zhou Mushi thought about it, the more he felt sad and miserable.

He had always been well-off, living a carefree life. He never thought of Wang Jiexi’s pitiful situation.

If Wang Jiexi knew how pitiful he was in Zhou Mushi’s eyes, he would probably be devastated.

After thinking it over, Zhou Mushi felt that it was not a good idea to let Wang Jiexi continue like this. He thought he should get involved, so he carefully planned to “bump into” Wang Jiexi as he was leaving the hospital.

Originally, he planned to brush past Wang Jiexi, turn around and meet his eyes.

The result was unexpected. The brush of their shoulders was a bit heavy, and it made Zhou Mushi sore from the impact.

His first reaction was to forget that Wang Jiexi was a patient, and his body was in such a weak state. What if he accidentally caused harm to him?

Zhou Mushi seems to be overthinking and has completely disregarded his own physical limitations. In other words, does he not have any awareness of his own strength and capabilities?

When he was knocked down by a cancer patient in his eyes, Zhou Mushi was a bit stunned. Although he was the one who initiated the contact, something seemed off.

Wang Jiexi had bumped into someone and knocked them over. He quickly bent down to help, but when he looked up, he was shocked to see the person he had been unable to get with in this lifetime, the one he had held close to his heart.

“Are you…are you okay?” Wang Jiexi helped Zhou Mushi up and asked.

He only addressed Zhou Mushi as “you,” without using any intimate brotherly terms, as their relationship was somewhat awkward and they couldn’t quite define it as brotherhood.

Zhou Mushi brushed off the dust from his jeans and rubbed the sore flesh on his buttocks while shaking his head dazedly, “I’m fine.”

As if that was even possible. He already had low blood sugar and was prone to dizziness. Being knocked down like that made him even more disoriented, seeing little stars spinning around in front of his eyes. He couldn’t even tell which direction Wang Jiexi’s face was in.

Wang Jiexi noticed that he was pale and didn’t seem well. Compared to the last time he saw him, where he had lost weight, he immediately helped him up and led him to a nearby bench to rest and recover.

“What a coincidence,” said Zhou Mushi, still a bit disoriented. He was at a loss for words.

Wang Jiexi nodded, “Yeah, it’s quite a coincidence. Are you feeling unwell? Why did you come to the hospital?”

He saw that there was medical tape with a cotton ball on the back of Zhou Mushi’s hand, and noticed that his chin had become a bit pointed, which made him feel sorry for him.

Although Zhou Mushi’s health had not been very good recently, how could his own small pains compare to Wang Jiexi’s serious illness?

So he smiled and said, “I’m fine, just a little hypoglycemic. Anyway, do you have time? It’s almost time for a meal, let me treat you to a meal.”

It was 3:30 in the afternoon, neither early nor late, and it was unclear whether Zhou Mushi had referred to lunch or dinner.

Although the reason was weak, Wang Jiexi agreed, and the two of them went to a nearby restaurant together.

It is unclear whether it was coincidence or because Zhou Mushi had been with Jin Yang for a long time, but the restaurant he randomly chose happened to be the same one where Jin Yang brought Wang Jiexi before.

They found a seat and ordered two bowls of noodles.

After ordering, Zhou Mushi realized that it might not be appropriate to invite someone to eat like this, but since they had already ordered, he could only go along with it.

He cleared his throat and looked at Wang Jiexi several times, but he didn’t open his mouth.

Zhou Mushi’s thoughts were nothing but about Wang Jiexi’s health issues, but Wang Jiexi felt uneasy in his heart!

He tried to conceal the matter for Jin Yang, and now, as Zhou Mushi looked at him with a scrutinizing gaze, he hesitated to speak.

He had handled that matter perfectly, so how could Zhou Mushi have found out something?

Despite feeling guilty, Wang Jiexi had to put up a strong front. The two of them locked eyes, and every second felt like torture.

Zhou Mushi didn’t know how to express his concern about Wang Jiexi’s health, and the more he looked at him, the more flustered Wang Jiexi became.

Fortunately, at this moment, the noodle shop owner quickly served two steaming bowls of noodles.

End of Chapter 140

---

---

Chapter 139: Romantic Relationship

---

In nominal terms, Zhou Muxian’s wife, Cen Wan, is a very gentle and beautiful woman. She is about the same age as Zhou Muxian and looks like a refined lady, making it impossible to find any faults with her.

Even though they were living together as roommates under the same roof for the sake of appeasing their parents, they became good friends over time. They had a great relationship, even though they didn’t spark any romantic flames.

Cen Wan had her own girlfriend, and Zhou Muxian had someone he liked as well. Everyone was aware of this, and since their relationship was clean, no one was causing any trouble for anyone else.

When Zhou Muxian returned this time, he noticed that Cen Wan seemed different from before.

She was someone who always looked radiant and lively, but she had visibly become much more haggard. She had lost weight and her chin had even become a bit sharp.

As a longtime collaborator, a friendly roommate, or just a friend, he should show some concern for her.

Zhou Muxian’s cooking skills were not very good. He only knew how to make one dish, white radish and pork soup, which he learned from his online friend, Jin Yuan.

He made a pot of white radish and pork soup and placed it on the table, inviting Cen Wan to come and eat.

Cen Wan sat at the table and drank the soup. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and fall into the bowl. Anyone who saw her would feel heartbroken. This had nothing to do with love affairs, but rather the natural care and concern that comes from empathy.

Zhou Muxian handed her two tissues and finally couldn’t help but ask, “What’s wrong?”

There were no barriers between Zhou Muxian and Cen Wan. Regardless of the competition between their families, they had already divided their assets before getting married. Whether their relationship changed or not, personal finances were personal and they did not interfere with each other. With these terms, they had fewer conflicts of interest and their relationship could be more pure.

Cen Wan thanked him, wiped away her tears, and continued to drink the white radish and pork soup in her bowl. She finished every last drop of the soup, along with the ribs and radishes that Zhou Muxian had served her, before finally speaking up cautiously.

“Muxian, do you think a love relationship without guarantees can last?”

Zhou Muxian lowered his eyes subconsciously, and then silently filled a bowl of soup for Cen Wan.

During his previous relationship with Chen Sheng, he had long prepared himself to be abandoned, it was only a matter of time. But as far as Cen Wan knew, her love was different. She had a girl whom she deeply loved, and they had been getting along well.

The so-called guarantee in a love relationship was the bright red marriage certificate. Zhou Muxian was bound by his family’s expectations as the eldest son and burdened with heavy responsibilities.

But Cen Wan’s situation was even worse than his.

She originally had an elder sister who was favored by the Cen family’s parents due to her outgoing personality and lenient upbringing.

This led to Cen Wan’s elder sister meeting a bad influence and running away with her lover at the age of sixteen, leaving behind a letter and taking only a small amount of money she had saved up.

The Cen family spent a lot of money and worked hard to search for her for three months, but with no success. Cen Wan was less than ten years old at that time, and it was already twenty years ago.

After her elder sister’s disappearance, Cen Wan’s parents became stricter in their parenting and treated her with excessive discipline. They also showered all their love and hopes on her, which made it impossible for her to rebel against them.

She could never reveal that she was attracted to the same sex, and she could not make the same mistake as her elder sister and defy her parents for love.

Zhou Muxian probably understood what was going on and asked about it out of concern that something bad had happened between Cen Wan and her partner.

“People like us, perhaps shouldn’t expect too much,” Zhou Muxian said, picking at a piece of pork rib in his bowl, feeling a bit unable to eat.

Yes, in the eyes of outsiders, they were so fortunate, born into a life where they never had to worry about food or drink, living the life of the upper class. Whether they worked hard or not, their wealthy inheritance could guarantee their safety throughout their lives.

But everything should come at a price. Not being able to marry the one you love, not being able to publicly disclose your love, not being able to say that you love someone of the same sex, for them, that is the price they have to pay.

Cen Wan is not an extroverted person, and even after knowing her for so many years, Zhou Muxian had never seen her like this before.

The girl smiled bitterly and lowered her head. “Look at those marriages with legal bindings. Even if they are unhappy and have conflicts, no one will easily say they want a divorce. But we are different. No matter how many years of feelings we have, when it ends, it may be just a matter of one sentence. And for same-sex couples, after separation, there isn’t even the bond of a child.”

At this time, for ordinary people, it is best to have a bottle of alcohol, but both of them are sober people and know that getting drunk won’t solve any problems. The white radish and pork soup is just right.

She quietly drank the soup, every move like a painting.

Facing Cen Wan quietly drinking soup, Zhou Muxian couldn’t help but think, if he liked girls and had a wife like Cen Wan, he would never have the heart to let her down in this lifetime. Everything is just fate.

“It will be okay. The unhappy days will always pass.”

Cen Wan nodded and said, “I know that even if a knife is stabbed into the body, as long as the bleeding is stopped, people won’t die. Moreover, people like us, for the sake of our parents and families, how can we easily die? It’s just a scar.”

She pushed open the window and quietly let the wind blow in, while Zhou Muxian sat next to her watching her.

He looked at Cen Wan, as if he was also looking at himself.

They were too alike, to the point that he began to ponder his feelings for Jin Yuan.

During the honeymoon phase, it was rare to have such a calm and collected moment. But now, he had an opportunity to contemplate.

If he missed this phase, then what would happen between him and Jin Yuan?

Some things can’t withstand scrutiny, and sometimes, living one’s life in a foolish and happy-go-lucky manner is the key to happiness.

The world of “naive” people is always much simpler and cleaner than that of “too shrewd” people.

Not to mention the distance between Jin Yuan and Zhou Muxian, even if they both try their best, it will still be a problem to maintain their relationship in the future.

If Zhou Muxian remembers correctly, Cen Wan has been with her lover for ten years and they have always been good. Isn’t it said that they broke up just because they wanted to?

Could he and Jin Yuan secretly hide and stay together for ten years like this?

The cool wind blowing on his face made his mind even clearer, but it also gave him a headache.

End of Chapter 139

---

---

Chapter 138: Not Enough

---

Some people are feeling pleased with themselves, their work ability has doubled compared to before, while others are in a difficult situation, and are trying to control themselves from thinking about jumping off a building.

Zhou Mushi bought some snacks and placed them in his office and home, within reach wherever he could.

When people have suicidal thoughts, it is mostly due to insufficient dopamine secretion in the brain. Eating is the most effective way to increase dopamine.

He didn’t care what he bought, but whenever he felt upset, he would start eating. At first, it was somewhat effective, but eventually, he ate too much and felt nauseous, which he couldn’t bear.

Who could have thought that the president of the Zhou Group, because of eating too many snacks, couldn’t tolerate the stomach discomfort and had to stay in the hospital for several days.

The loneliest level in life is going to the hospital alone for surgery. Although Zhou Mushi did not need surgery, he had to lie in the hospital and receive an IV drip.

Those days were not easy. The IV drip took a long time, and there was no one to accompany him. He could only look at the drip bottle and call the nurse when it was finished.

Going to the bathroom was also very inconvenient. Zhou Mushi’s stomach illness was severe this time, and his body was swollen and weak, with no strength at all. He even found it difficult to go to the bathroom with the bottle and come back.

He is not feeling well mentally. The best thing would be to lie down and rest more often, but he dare not. He forces himself to immerse in something, like reading or studying, but due to the drip, he always just gets into it and it ends.

He desperately wants to stabilize himself, but just as he does, he has to divide his attention again. While his stomach has improved somewhat during his hospital stay, his mental state has worsened.

He doesn’t know why, but even when he’s suffering so much by himself in the hospital, he doesn’t think to call his dad.

Zhou Mushi knows that no matter how little his dad cares about him now, he is still his own son. If he tells him his current situation, his dad will definitely come to the hospital to take care of him, but Zhou Mushi doesn’t want that.

He has become accustomed to the distant relationship between father and son.

At most, he can go more than a month without calling his dad, of course, his dad can go half a year without calling him. The two are equally tough.

Old Zhou has not reached the stage of being accompanied by his children all the time.

People are different, Old Zhou has many ways to pass the time and expend energy, and he doesn’t really need to draw much warmth from his children.

. . . . .

Ranran performed normally in the entrance exam to junior high school, and smoothly got into the boarding school she had set her sights on before.

When Jin Yuan went to attend his daughter’s graduation ceremony, he almost burst into tears.

He had never sat on the school’s playground as a parent, sitting next to his daughter, listening to the school’s teachers and outstanding parent representatives talk on stage. He couldn’t help but feel lucky that the school didn’t let him go up to give a speech. Otherwise, he would have been so nervous that his legs would have become weak, not knowing what to say.

It’s not because he’s nervous, but because he hasn’t put his heart into his children’s education and growth over the years, which makes him feel ashamed. He can’t share how to be a good parent or how to cultivate an outstanding student. He feels he has been unfair to his daughter all these years.

However, Ranran thinks differently. Everyone has a different starting point. If it were her classmates, they might think Jin Yuan is not a responsible father.

But Ranran’s starting point was low. She didn’t even have a home before, and her uncle, who took care of her, was always busy. It’s different from having a father who loves her, is open-minded, and is a good friend to her. She naturally feels very happy with her current life.

The two of them, along with a large group of parents and children, sat on the playground for most of the day before finally leaving the school, marking the end of their primary school years.

To celebrate his daughter’s graduation, Jin Yuan took Ranran to her favorite place to play for the whole day, and then indulged in some delicious food outside. After they had their fill of fun and food, the father and daughter returned home together.

Once they got home, the little girl collapsed on the sofa exhausted, and Jin Yuan went to boil some hot water, intending to make tea for himself and his daughter in a little while.

The little girl still had a happy smile on her face as she lay on the sofa and spoke to the person in the kitchen pouring water into the electric kettle, “Daddy, let’s video call Uncle. I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

Jin Yuan may not have seen Jin Yang in a while, but he agreed, saying “Sure.”

After dialing the video call, the phone rang for a while before someone answered on the other end.

“Hello, Uncle,” said Ranran.

Looking at the uncle still wearing a white shirt in the video, Suan Suan was very affectionate, “Uncle~ Did you just finish work?”

The man on the other end of the phone smiled, “Yeah, there was something going on with the client today, so I finished work a little late.”

“Uncle, today I went to the graduation ceremony with Dad…”

Since Jin Yuan came back from “work”, Ranran’s personality became much more lively. During the half-hour video call, the little girl did most of the talking, while Jin Yuan and his brother Jin Yang listened and occasionally chimed in.

“Uncle, are you on a business trip? You haven’t come to see me for a long time?”

“I’m on a business trip now, and I’m busy with a project in another city. I’ll be busy for a longer period this time. You know how my job is, I have to be out and about all year round.”

The little girl felt a bit regretful, and Jin Yuan, who was beside her, said, “Take care of yourself, don’t work too hard, be careful not to exhaust yourself.”

The man on the phone felt a twinge at his nose and replied with a smile, “Hmm, I know how to take care of myself, don’t worry. I have to go now, someone’s knocking at the door, maybe something’s come up. I’ll call you back later.”

The considerate little girl said, “Okay, Uncle, go ahead and get busy. Goodbye, Uncle.”

“Goodbye.”

The person on the phone hung up, but he didn’t get up to answer the door because there was no knocking at all. He wore a white shirt that looked like he had been busy all day, but he wore pajama pants and slippers on the lower half of his body.

He threw down his phone and went to the kitchen to make some tomato and egg drop soup for himself. A single person’s meal was much simpler. This bowl of soup could be both a main dish and a side dish, and the egg drops inside could also serve as a staple food.

Half of the notebook on the table had already been filled. He used to find his life dull and boring, not knowing how to write about it, but now as he wrote, he gradually realized that he might not have enough paper, just like his life, not enough…

End of Chapter 138

---

---

Chapter 137: Take Good Care of Him

---

Mrs. Zhou has been pregnant for over four months, and Zhou Qingwen is particularly careful. Everything is done with great care and caution.

Due to the late arrival of their child, Zhou Qingwen attaches great importance to this pregnancy. Ever since a doctor friend of the hospital, who he is familiar with, hinted that there is a plump little girl in her belly, Zhou Qingwen, who had never thought that he would have a daughter in his life, is now eager to give his heart and flesh to the unborn baby girl.

When Zhou Mushi returned home, Zhou Qingwen didn’t spend much thought on him.

He was already an adult, a man who could take care of himself both in life and work. What was there to worry about for a father like him?

The relationship between father and son in China has always been delicate, both close and distant.

Living at home, every time Zhou Mushi sat down to eat with his family, he couldn’t help but think of the meticulous care his father gave to his stepmother. He wondered if he had received the same treatment when he was in his mother’s womb?

Thinking of his late mother, he couldn’t help but feel a bit sad.

The departed cannot be forever preserved in the lives of the living, and after Zhou Qingwen married, he put his late wife’s possessions in a small room on the third floor.

The food today wasn’t very appetizing, and no one at the table had eaten much. Zhou Mushi pushed his plate aside and said, “I’m full,” before heading upstairs.

Mrs. Zhou is attentive. As soon as Zhou Mushi leaves, she nudges Old Zhou with her elbow and asks, “Mushi seems off these days. Is he not feeling well?”

Old Zhou replies, “Don’t worry about him. It’s normal for young people to have bad moods sometimes. They need to learn to deal with it themselves.” He then picks up a dish of his wife’s favorite food and puts it in her bowl.

The storeroom on the third floor hasn’t been cleaned for a long time and has accumulated a layer of dust.

Zhou Mushi brings a basin of water and a rag to wipe off the items his mother used to like. The items include an old dressing table, outdated paintings, old photos, and several pieces of jewelry.

When he opens the window to let in the sunlight, the dusty light shines on these old items, making them look a bit faded and gray.

People will grow old, and so do objects.

He lay on the once-luxurious bed, half-closed his eyes, and listened to the long and drawn-out melody being played.

The songs in the mobile phone are playing randomly, and Eason Chan is singing softly the song 《Long Time No See》.

I came to your city,
Walked the path you took to me,
Imagining the days without me,
How lonely you must have been.

Holding the photo you gave me,
The familiar street we once knew,
But without you in the picture,
We can’t go back to that day.

Will you suddenly appear,
At the café on the corner of the street,
I’ll greet you with a smile and a wave,
And sit with you, chatting away.

How much I wish to see you,
And witness how you’ve changed,
Not talking about the past anymore,
Just exchanging pleasantries.

Just saying one thing to you,
Long time no see.

Word by word, like a knife cutting through flesh, easily destroyed people’s tear ducts, and when it struck, it didn’t hold back at all.

Zhou Mushi lay there as if dead, motionless, allowing tears to flood down his neck, staining his clothes.

He didn’t open his eyes or mouth, but used his heart to sense everything his mother did in the room.

There were some things that could only be tightly held in the heart, unable to be revealed to his mother in his lifetime.

How could he, as someone’s child, tell his mother that she was an irresponsible mother, not a qualified one, and that her love was harsh like shackles, like a knife, like everything that made people uncomfortable.

He sat alone, hoping that time would pass quickly, preferably at the snap of a finger, making him eighty years old now, or even near death would be fine.

This way, he could lie wilfully on the sickbed, pretending to be senile and asking the younger generation to go and find the people he missed, to see him, hold his hand, and then watch him die.

. . . . .

Wang Jiexi was standing at the door of Jin Yang’s small rented house with a soy milk and deep-fried doughstick.

After waiting for a while and hearing some movement inside, he knocked on the door.

The person who opened the door was wearing home clothes, had just washed their face, and their hair was still messy.

Jin Yang wasn’t surprised to see him, but a hint of rejection flashed in their eyes. Nonetheless, he let him into the room.

Wang Jiexi was very self-aware, he went to the kitchen to get plates and bowls, divided the soy milk and deep-fried doughstick into two portions, and sat at the table to invite Jin Yang to come and eat.

Jin Yang sat down at the table as instructed and stared at the white soy milk, asking, “What are you here for again?”

Wang Jiexi took a bite of the deep-fried doughstick, he has always had a good appetite and ate half of it in one bite.

“You said you were going to the hospital, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Well…I don’t think it’s necessary now. It’s fine like this,” Jin Yang replied.

“Tsk, your attitude is a problem. There’s no such thing as a terminal illness now. It’s not like it can’t be cured,” Wang Jiexi said.

Jin Yang peeled open a tea egg and ate it in small bites, saying, “It’s just a matter of extending your life by a few years.”

He said it very casually, obviously not attaching much importance to living a few extra years.

“People who live a rich and fulfilling life will certainly not want to die early. Living one more day is also good. But for the homeless, jobless scavengers living on the streets, it is just an early death to be reborn sooner.”

Most of the time, people cannot find any refuting words for this kind of negative soul-soup.

Wang Jiexi felt that Jin Yang was probably right, but at the same time, he felt that he should not give up and should insist on his opinion.

“What if it’s not just a few years, but ten or twenty years? Don’t you think your approach is a bit reckless?”

Jin Yang continued to eat his meal without paying attention to Wang Jiexi’s words. “As you said, that’s just in case. I can’t afford to take that risk. I’m happy with my life as it is now, so you don’t need to waste your time coming over here.”

“But…”

“There’s no but. Have you been to the ward and seen those people who are half dead from being hooked up to medication? They can’t take care of themselves, can’t control their bowel movements, struggling on the edge of pain every day, gradually forgetting the people around them and living like walking corpses.”

Wang Jiexi stopped talking, feeling unable to continue the conversation.

He couldn’t connect Jin Yang, who looked perfectly fine in front of him, with the description he just gave.

Perhaps it would be a better choice to die with dignity than to cling to life like that.

“Since you’ve made up your mind, there’s nothing more for me to say. If there’s anything I can do to help, I will do my best.”

The statement was filled with goodwill, and even implied a willingness to take care of things after Jin Yang’s passing.

Jin Yang shook his head and then suddenly teared up, looking up at him. “Please take care of him for me.”

End of Chapter 137

---

Taw’s Note: If you curious about the song, you can click here

---

---

Chapter 136: Ground to Dust

---

From a distance, there were flowers that were not very clearly red, and no one could tell whether they were roses or gardenias.

Two clouds floated overhead, and no one knew which one held the rain.

With a letter in his hand, Zhou Mushi’s body felt like it had suddenly been drained of strength. He felt sad, but couldn’t shed a single tear. His whole body was as dry as a mummy that had been left to rest for a long time.

Sometimes, when great sorrow strikes, one doesn’t feel much pain.

But that cannot wait, one cannot think about this matter while time slowly passes by.

It’s like sweet liquor that doesn’t feel like anything when you first drink it, but hits you hard when it kicks in.

Zhou Mushi sat motionless in his study, as if he had lost the ability to speak. If it weren’t for his faint breathing, people might really have thought he was dead.

Time seemed to stand still. There was no clock in the study, and everything was quiet. You couldn’t hear anything.

He kept thinking about a look, an embrace, and a person’s scent in his mind.

He didn’t know how long he had been thinking, and by the end, he didn’t know how long he had gone without food or water. His tormented stomach kept convulsing as he leaned on the table, retching incessantly in front of the trash can, but he couldn’t vomit anything out.

Zhou Mushi only knew one person who was different from everyone else in the world, and he was extremely attached to Jin Yang’s gaze.

Those eyes seemed to have opened their hearts and placed them in front of him, carefully smiling at him and reaching out their hands.

However, all this sincere emotion was crushed and buried in the mud, including flesh and blood and broken bones.

He thought he was very realistic, but in fact, he was very naive.

He always thought that once this matter was over, it was over. Occasionally, he felt guilty and sorry for Jin Yang, but that was all.

He had never truly understood Jin Yang’s feelings from his perspective. All the “I understand his feelings” were just lies.

There has never been anything in this world like truly understanding another’s pain. When a knife is not cutting into one’s own flesh, no one knows how much it hurts.

Even in his most difficult times, he never struggled at the bottom of poverty. He had a way out. People like him were probably never able to understand what it feels like to be in a desperate situation.

This wasn’t the first time he lost Jin Yang, but it hurt much more than the first time.

The misunderstanding then was that Jin Yang had found someone else, and he wasn’t a good person, so he abandoned him. Being abandoned by someone like that was difficult to endure, but he could always make it through.

But now, Zhou Mushi knew that he loved him, very much, even though he had never said it out loud. The deeper the love, the more painful it is, and the harder it is to get through this hurdle…

This one-sided breakup, without even giving Zhou Mushi a chance to fight back, is just like when his family beat down Jin Yang to the ground.

He’s not a heartless and unreasonable person, he can’t just shamelessly beg for something.

His mother loved him, Jin Yang loved him too, but his mother used Jin Yang’s love for him as a weapon, and stabbed Jin Yang and his heart to death. This is truly ridiculous!

. . . . .

Zhou Muxian reluctantly pulled his suitcase to the airport; the work at the company couldn’t be delayed any longer.

Jin Yuan bought a plane ticket with him, but on different routes.

Ranran’s exams were almost over, and Jin Yuan had to return to China to take care of the little girl.

Beforehand, the little girl had already chosen a boarding junior high school. It wasn’t Jin Yuan’s intention to let her stay in a boarding school, but Ranran had chosen the best school for herself based on her grades, which was a top-notch, enclosed and well-managed school.

The two sat together in the airport lobby. Zhou Muxian swore that he had never felt so sad sitting on a plane before, even though it was only a short two-month summer vacation that they would be apart. Jin Yuan said he would visit him after the child started school.

But even before they parted, they were already starting to miss each other.

No matter how reluctant they were, they still had to separate when the time came to queue for ticket inspection. They could only leave from their lover’s embrace.

There is still a lingering warmth from Jin Yuan’s palm on his fingertips. He watched him leave until he was halfway there, and then Zhou Muxian pulled his suitcase back and gave his lover a lingering kiss before returning to continue queuing.

Jin Yuan’s situation is slightly better than Zhou Muxian’s. Although he is uncomfortable, he is not afraid of separation because he knows they will meet again. Separation becomes a process that can make him better, and it can also pull their love into a long and dense longing. When they meet again, everything will be worth it.

They both boarded the plane, flying in different directions, thinking about each other, and didn’t feel too painful.

. . . . .

No one knows which great person said it: “The earth will still turn without anyone.”

Indeed, it is true. In the days when Jin Yang was not around, Zhou Mushi did not reach the point where he could not live.

Working is a very good thing. Once a person gets busy, there is no leisure time to deal with other things.

But when there is leisure time, it can be very frustrating. Every corner of the room constantly reminds you of the traces of another person’s life.

The cactus on the windowsill was planted by Jin Yang, and the money plant on the computer desk in the study was also put there by Jin Yang. The color of the bedsheet, the table lamp on the bedside table, the carpet in the bathroom, the towels and shower gel he used on the shelf.

When night falls, Zhou Mushi becomes like a pervert. He takes out all the clothes that Jin Yang did not take away from the closet and covers himself with them one by one. He holds the pillow that Jin Yang once slept on, eats half a sleeping pill, and forcefully falls asleep. He often wakes up crying in the middle of the night.

Turning on the light is absolutely forbidden. Once the light is on, the fact that another person is no longer there becomes even clearer and more obvious.

If he wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep, he puts on Jin Yang’s pajamas and leans against the bedside, studying French and difficult legal terms on his phone.

Even though he didn’t plan to develop in France and had no interest in becoming a lawyer, it didn’t matter.

What mattered was that he had to do something, otherwise the strong sense of oppression in his heart would make him feel like he was going crazy.

Zhou Mushi made a great effort to arrange his free time, and staying in the old house for a few days should be a good choice.

He could also go and see his stepmother, who married an old man while she was still young and naive, and see his blood relative who was still in her belly, whether it was his brother or sister. He could stay in a room that had nothing to do with Jin Yang.

End of Chapter 136

---

---

Chapter 135: Jin Yang’s Letter

---

When I think of you, your words come to me as if you were right in front of me:

When we first met, you were sitting in the seventh row of the lecture hall, near the aisle. The lecture hall was crowded, and as I stood on the stage giving my graduation speech, I saw a sea of faces, but only you stood out.

I used to think that “love at first sight” was a silly phrase, not worthy of serious consideration. I believed that what we see at first is only skin-deep and not worth our attention.

However, that all changed one day when I realized that there might be some truth to it.

To be honest, I do not think of what exists between us as mere love, but rather as a life shared by husband and wife.

You know about my background, and you understand that “living together” is much more important to me than “being in love.”

To me, you are the person closest to my heart, and I treasure and value you deeply.

However, I have been busy with work in recent years, and I regret that I have not been able to treat you as well as you deserve.

I have no relatives other than my older brother. And we grew up in such an environment that, to be honest, I don’t really know how to properly love and take care of someone, to make you happy and live a good life with me.

In one’s lifetime, fate is not the only thing that matters. How should we describe the relationship between us?

I never believed in class differences and always thought that love was a matter between two people, but reality is never that simple.

Yuanyang Technologies was founded with all my hopes. For me, it is not just a company, but half a lifetime’s worth of dreams and achievements.

You may not understand the feeling of worrying about whether you will have enough to eat or if you can afford to go to school next semester or if you will have enough food for the next day.

I used to live a frugal life due to the ingrained habit of being too cautious. Living a life of trembling and fighting for every meal and every piece of paper, relying on the kindness of others.

To be honest with you, when I was around ten years old, I calculated the food supplies for the orphanage for the next six months. I took into account whether anyone would donate and whether anyone would adopt children to alleviate the burden on the orphanage. All these factors determined whether we could eat enough.

You may find it strange, but if we go back 20 years, were there really people who couldn’t eat enough?

Half a steamed bun and a small portion of vegetables for each meal may not starve a person to death, but it was a difficult time to live in.

I often think back to when I was a child and my brother would often give me his portion of food.

He always used the excuse of not liking the food that day.

But in that environment, who had the luxury of liking or not liking the food?

Radishes, cabbage, boiled bean sprouts, and always and forever shredded potatoes – as long as there was food, it was good.

Before starting my own business, I worked many odd jobs, the best of which was helping out in a restaurant kitchen because the boss provided meals and I could eat until I was full.

Before founding Yuanyang Technology, I always lived in fear and uncertainty, even more so than before.

In the past, it was just my brother and me, but later we had Ranran, such a tiny and fragile little thing.

I really didn’t want her to end up like us, worrying about not having enough to eat every day and constantly struggling to pay for next semester’s tuition.

Now in the workplace, many people say, “Director Jin is young and talented, with exceptional abilities.” Every time I hear this, I just smile seemingly casually, but who knows the difficulties behind this praise?

Many of the people who can achieve my position are from business families. They have established eyesight and judgment since childhood, but I have nothing.

Things that others can easily get, I have to go and move chairs, stack books on the chairs, and step on them little by little to reach.

While they can easily reach out for what they need, I still have to search around for chairs that can be used and books that can be placed on them.

I am not cynical or resentful towards those who are inherently superior to me.

Yuanyang Technology is an important turning point in my life, and I have put in 120% effort to manage it. I used to be so pathetic that I would stare at the constantly changing balance in my bank account for days.

Even if it’s just an increase of one dollar, it still brings joy to people.

When it earned me two thousand dollars in a month, it wasn’t even considered a company yet. But, I felt like the whole world had become clearer.

Although I knew that two thousand dollars was actually very little, it was enough to rent a small rental house and have food for a month. I could survive by my own efforts.

When we met, Yuanyang Technology was already making considerable profits, at least for me.

It was progressing steadily, and I felt like I was the owner of a small convenience store. I didn’t become rich, but it was enough to live a good life.

But all of this came to an abrupt end.

I found out a few days ago what had happened. Your mother and brother, who had lived a life of abundance since childhood, probably didn’t understand what it feels like to crush the hopes of those who struggled to grow in the mud.

Under the malicious oppression, it was no longer a matter of leaving me with nothing. The several million dollars of debt was like a hand, tightly squeezing my neck, able to easily crush my life at any moment.

How could I let you follow me and live a life like this?

You have such a pair of clean and gentle eyes. You should enjoy your life well, instead of standing on the edge of a cliff like me, risking your life at any moment.

After Yuanyang Technology was gone, I rented a shared room in an old residential area.

Dirty tenants, noisy atmosphere, and always scattered instant noodle cups. And the clinical calls in the middle of the night made me even more grateful that we broke up.

During the busiest time, I worked four jobs a day.

I went to work as a part-time employee at the steamed bun shop downstairs at 5:30 in the morning, worked until 7:30, then went to work, took two hours off at noon to handle some side gigs on the Internet, and worked as a night shift clerk at the convenience store from 7 pm to 11 pm.

Too much work can really drive a person crazy, but I have no choice. It’s either death or paying off my debts, but I can’t die.

Mushi, if you were me, how would you choose after knowing all of this?

I know it’s not your fault, but sometimes, one cannot deceive oneself. It’s not like I can cover it up by pretending not to know.

Life is already difficult enough. I don’t want to torture myself, nor do I want to torture you in the long run.

By the time you receive this letter, I will have resigned from my job at Yucheng Group and gone to a distant place.

Let’s both move on from each other and live our own lives. From now on, we’ll go our separate ways and there’s no need to see each other again.

End of Chapter 135

---

TL/Note: just why????? (T⌓T)

---

---

Chapter 134: Your Mail

---

Zhou Mushi likes rainy days and dislikes them at the same time. To be precise, he likes rainy days when Jin Yang is with him, and dislikes being alone on rainy days.

He declined Old Chen’s offer to give him a ride and bought an umbrella at a nearby convenience store before slowly walking home alone.

The gathering place is not too far nor too close to his home, about a 20-minute walk. Even if Zhou Mushi walks slowly, he can still arrive there in just over half an hour.

The street lights and surrounding shops are all lit up. The night rain in the big city doesn’t seem too scary.

However, the air is damp everywhere, and rainwater seeps into clothes, shoes, and onto the skin from various angles. It feels chilly, and if one can’t adjust to it in time, it will quickly turn into a coldness that clings to the gaps between bones.

Zhou Mushi tightened his thin coat. He still doesn’t have the habit of checking the weather forecast. For such a rainy night, his clothes are really too thin.

As Jin Yang said, one advantage of rainy days is that they can easily make people forget about the seasons.

Especially on rainy nights, when everything is not very clear, the pitter-patter of rain hitting the eaves is very suitable for curling up in the quilt and having a good sleep.

Zhou Mushi reached out and caught some raindrops, feeling the slight chill on his fingertips.

He thought of Jin Yang and how he likes rainy days. Suddenly, even this heavy rain seemed pleasant.

Because of one person, I have an attachment to a city, because of one person, I love a rainy day.

The young man walking on the street didn’t know what he was thinking about, but gradually lifted the corners of his mouth. He was very handsome and had the kind of looks that anyone would want to take a second glance at, but when young girls looked at him, they would feel regretful.

That kind of smile belongs to someone in love. This young man must have a significant other and is not available.

After returning home, Zhou Mushi took a simple shower and slept well in bed. Tomorrow is Saturday, so there is no need to worry about getting up early. He happily sets his alarm clock before going to bed, giving him a satisfying feeling.

He slept for more than ten hours and had many dreams. Sometimes he followed his mother to visit relatives, sometimes he dreamed about his brother, and sometimes he dreamed about his classmates from high school with whom he had lost contact. Sometimes it was just innocent playfulness, and sometimes he had to shoulder the responsibility of saving the world. In any case, he was very busy.

Strangely enough, Zhou Muxian always seemed to be a teenager in his dreams, no matter how old he was in his dreams, his brother’s age was always so illogical.

At around ten o’clock, Zhou Mushi had just gotten up when he heard the doorbell.

Opening the door, he saw a delivery guy.

“Hello, is this Mr. Zhou Mushi’s house? I have a mail for you.”

Zhou Mushi didn’t remember buying anything, so why was it being sent by mail?

“Oh, it’s me.”

“Please sign here.”

“Okay.” He responded and quickly signed his name, took the mail and threw it aside, then poured himself a cup of warm soy milk to settle his stomach.

Jin Yang had taught him to eat healthily, and he needed to remember that.

. . . . .

Right now, Zhou Muxian is busy sharing the beautiful, bright red cherries he bought from the market with his lover.

Each one looks ripe and especially appealing, with a purple-red color and a pleasing size. But after taking a bite, the taste is somewhat sour and astringent.

Jin Yuan washes the cherries and the two of them sit on the sofa, making grimaces as they eat them.

Despite the unremarkable taste, they continue to eat them, driven by a sense of duty not to waste what they have purchased.

Zhou Muxian picks up two cherries and feeds them to Jin Yuan. Jin Yuan takes one and just as he is about to pick the other one, Zhou Muxian takes the initiative to put it in his mouth.

The green stem of the cherry is so small that they both bite into it, their mouths almost touching.

With just this simple act, these two individuals, who were both single just a few days ago, seem to be experts in slaughtering single dogs.

After taking a bite, Jin Yuan insisted on approaching to give it a kiss in order to taste the cherry in his mouth properly.

It seemed that they had never eaten anything so delicious before, as they ate a plate of sour cherries together and somehow found themselves feeling romantic.

As they ate, they ate together, cherries, strawberries, under the blue sky, shamelessly in love.

Zhou Muxian’s life was like falling into a honey pot. Besides occasionally considering whether to take care of his health and buy some kidney supplements, there was really nothing unhappy about it.

Even someone like him, who didn’t enjoy literature, found himself developing a strong interest in it when reading “The Gathering of Flowers¹” with Jin Yuan.

Happiness came too suddenly, and Zhou Muxian felt like it didn’t quite fit into his previous life. But who cares about that? As long as he was happy, that was all that mattered.

. . . . .

It wasn’t until after finishing his “brunch” that Zhou Mushi had time to open the mail.

The letter inside had the words “To Mushi, open personally” written on it.

Although it is the age of information technology, remembering a person’s handwriting is not an easy thing. But if you have feelings for someone, you will remember everything about them.

He recognized at a glance that it was Jin Yang’s handwriting.

Before opening the envelope, the corners of his mouth curled up with joy, but he muttered as if he was disdainful: “What era is it, and he still writes letters.”

When Zhou Mushi opened the envelope, he was particularly careful. He was not a very meticulous person, but he used the utmost patience and tried not to damage the envelope bit by bit.

Jin Yang could write him a letter, which was such a precious treasure, much more valuable than any gold, silver, or jade. He could guarantee that he would cherish such a good thing for his entire life.

Holding two pieces of paper, Zhou Mushi was reluctant to open them. When he was young, he chased after several serialized novels. Every time he got the latest issue, he was always excited. The feeling of wanting to read more but not wanting to read it was back, even stronger than before.

No matter what, he had only read other people’s stories before. Now, his boyfriend had written it himself, making it even more precious.

It was only two pages of paper, but he was as nervous as a newlywed bride meeting her in-laws.

He brought the letter from the living room to the study, remembered that he had held a small cake in his hand before, and was afraid of getting oil on it. He quickly went to the bathroom to wash his hands clean, wiped them with a tissue until there was not a drop of water left, and then let them air dry to ensure that the paper would not get dirty.

He took a deep breath, pulled out a chair, sat down slowly, and took the two pieces of paper solemnly.

End of Chapter 134

---

1. 《花间集》 (Huājiān Jí) is a Chinese classical poetry collection compiled during the Tang Dynasty by the poet and scholar, Wang Guowei. ↩︎

---