If (8/9)
Inside the blues bar.
Neon lights flickered across the enclosed space, casting mottled shadows that danced to the rhythm of the bartender’s shaking cocktail bottles, pushing the background music to its peak.
The air was thick with tobacco and alcohol. Groups of people gathered in twos and threes, laughter ringing out, glasses clinking together in a constant chorus. For someone who had never stepped foot in a bar before, Su Zesui was utterly stunned by the scene.
He wasn’t much of a drinker to begin with, and as the guest of honor at this party, he was the target. After losing round after round of drinking games, he was getting a little out of it.
“Come on, let’s play Truth or Dare.”
Noticing the flush in the young man’s cheeks, Shi Fangbin blocked another drink from reaching him and instead placed a deck of game cards in front of him. “Draw three cards, and you can skip a drink.”
“O-okay.”
Su Zesui’s head was spinning, but he still knew well enough that if he chose “dare,” he’d probably end up embarrassing himself in front of the whole bar.
So without hesitation, he picked three “truth” cards—
[What’s your favorite kind of… sex?]
Su Zesui: ?
Wait—did it mean what he thought it meant?
“I–I…” Su Zesui suddenly felt a little guilty. He glanced around and said, “I’m still underage.”
Everyone burst into teasing, saying that after tonight they’d send him some videos so he could properly experience the decadent pleasures of adulthood.
It was supposed to be nothing more than a joke, yet for some reason, Su Zesui felt even more uneasy, as if he’d done something wrong. In his mind, the stern face of his brother popped up unbidden, making him shiver.
Amid this restless unease, he flipped to the next “truth” card—
[What kind of person do you find yourself most strongly attracted to?]
His alcohol-fogged brain was sluggish. Even after he finished reading the question aloud, the lingering thoughts and emotions from the previous round still hadn’t faded.
That was why, after rolling Gu Yilan’s image around in his mind several times, he suddenly snapped awake—realizing at last what the question was really asking.
Su Zesui gave a small shake of his head, trying to toss Gu Yilan’s face out of his mind.
“Uh… taller than me, a cold personality. Someone who’s firm, decisive… and strong-willed inside.” Su Zesui forced himself to discard his wandering thoughts and rattled off the opposite traits of his own personality, just to get through the question.
As soon as he finished, his classmates began nudging Shi Fangbin with their shoulders, eyes glinting with gossip.
But Su Zesui didn’t notice the subtle undercurrents in the room. What he did notice was that, after circling around with his answer, the person he had described still seemed to be Gu Yilan—a man of few words, cold and decisive, with an inner steadiness that made him utterly reliable.
——No, no, he’d had too much to drink. He couldn’t keep sinking into this question.
So he flipped to the final “truth” card—
[What was the last thing that left you feeling unwilling to accept it?]
——Unwilling to accept…
The previous two questions had pressed down on him so heavily that he felt like a dumpling trapped in a steaming basket—swelling and swelling, with no release. At last, this final question gave his emotions an outlet.
Flushed with alcohol, Su Zesui staggered to his feet, shaking his head and declaring with conviction: “Unwilling… I’m not willing to accept it… I refuse…!”
At first, everyone around him was startled, thinking he couldn’t handle the game and was about to storm off in anger. But then they saw the boy, with his strikingly delicate face and soft, obedient voice, spilling out such raw, self-destructive words. Their surprise quickly turned into intrigue.
“Don’t rush, don’t rush. Sit down and tell us slowly,” one classmate urged.
Su Zesui sank back into his seat, but he still couldn’t let it go. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them: “Fine, maybe they do come from better families than me… maybe they’re a better match…”
“Better than your family?”
His classmates were stunned. They all had some idea of his background—his family was definitely among the city’s most prominent. Even if they didn’t watch the financial news, the luxury car his brother drove to pick him up every day was proof enough.
Su Zesui rubbed his flushed cheeks, but he still couldn’t sober up. He went on: “They’re also more capable than me… all graduates from top international universities. Not like me—who went to some no-name school. Even if you searched the admissions guide for three whole days, you’d never find it…”
His fellow “no-name university” classmates: …
“But!” Su Zesui smacked the table, his voice thick with grievance. “At least—at least… I look okay, don’t I?”
As he said this, his eyes shimmered with a watery glaze, like a dazed little rabbit lost in the haze of alcohol. His straight nose twitched slightly, his soft lips opening and closing as he mumbled incoherently—so pitiful it made hearts melt into water.
The classmates sitting nearby hurried to nod in agreement. “More than okay,” they chimed.
Su Zesui raised the glass by his hand, ignoring his increasingly muddled head, and took sip after sip. In a slurred, unbroken murmur, he added: “And besides… we’ve been together for years. Our bond… it runs deep.”
The classmates immediately caught the scent of gossip, their eyes lighting up. “How so? Tell us!” someone pressed eagerly.
But Su Zesui was lost in his own world, swaying as he continued to spill secrets: “…If only I were a girl, it would be so much better.”
The classmates around him—and even Shi Fangbin—nearly dropped their glasses.
What?!
Though Su Zesui was gentle and easy to get along with, he usually spoke very little. Coupled with his strikingly beautiful face, he had long been regarded as the untouchable “flower on the high peak.”
No one expected that after a few drinks, his whole personality would flip upside down. Even more shocking—this untouchable flower, secretly admired by so many, had actually fallen hopelessly for another straight guy.
Su Zesui parted his soft lips, about to let slip something else, when a sudden ringtone cut him off.
Blinking in a daze, he looked around at the others before remembering—the sound was coming from his own pocket. He fished out his phone, and sure enough, it was his brother calling.
Drunk courage. Clouded by alcohol and pent-up emotions, he did something he’d never dare to do while sober—he hung up on Gu Yilan.
And, just to be sure, he switched his phone straight into airplane mode. This time, even if the King of Heaven himself tried to call, the line would stay dead.
But after finishing that whole series of reckless moves, when he finally put down his phone, the urge to keep spilling his heart out was gone. All he could do was lift his glass and mutter, “Let’s drink.”
“It’s already past eleven,” Shi Fangbin said. “I asked a delivery guy to bring your birthday cake. You’re drunk—drink less.”
“I am not,” Su Zesui insisted, forcing himself to drain the glass in front of him.
His stomach felt bloated, his throat a little sour. The sight of the cream-covered cake made him nauseous, so he pushed it toward his classmates and kept sipping his drink alone.
“Suisui, make a wish,” someone coaxed.
“I… I don’t want to,” Su Zesui muttered, his emotional intelligence clearly out the window.
But the way his cheeks were flushed and his lips pouted around that soft little “no” was inexplicably endearing. Far from putting anyone off, it only made them want to tease him more.
“Doesn’t your brother keep you on a tight leash? How’d he let you come to a bar? Did he finally give you permission to drink?”
“I’m not afraid of him,” Su Zesui grumbled.
“This cake was specially bought for you by Shi Fangbin. I heard he went to several cake shops just to find a style you might like. No matter how beautiful a ‘white moonlight’ is, they’re not as real as the person right in front of you, hahaha…”
Shi Fangbin gave a gentle smile. “It’s fine. I’ll wait for you forever, Suisui.”
“Ohhh, look at those eyes of yours—like a lovesick puppy! Suisui, you should just say yes already!”
The teasing around him went in one ear and out the other. Su Zesui was still stuck on the previous thought—just imagining that Gu Yilan might already be at a hotel with his fiancee made his chest tighten with anger. The more he thought about it, the more worked up he became, until he suddenly shot to his feet and slammed the table.
“I’m the eldest in this family! My brother doesn’t let me drink, but I’ll drink if I want to!”
With that, he tipped back his head and emptied the glass in one go. He reached for another bottle sitting a little farther away—but failed to notice how the whole table had fallen silent, his classmates exchanging awkward looks as if they’d just witnessed something they really shouldn’t.
“I’ll drink, I’ll drink, I’ll—”
Before his repetition could finish, a strong hand seized his wrist just as his fingers brushed the cool glass of the bottle.
“You—!” The little firecracker bristled, his face scrunching in protest as he spun around, ready to unleash a harmless complaint on anyone who dared lay a hand on him.
But the next second, all his bluster deflated like a punctured balloon.
Gu Yilan was standing there, his face like ice, one brow arched as he asked in a voice as cold as frost: “Eldest in the family?”
Su Zesui’s courage shrank instantly. Still, outwardly he stubbornly turned his head away, leaving Gu Yilan nothing but the defiant angle of his cheek and the back of his head.
Gu Yilan gave a slight tug and lifted him down from the barstool, his tone brooking no argument: “Let’s go. We’re going home.”
Having long held a position of authority, and with his face darkened at this moment, Gu Yilan’s presence grew even more oppressive, sending chills down one’s spine. No one dared say a word against him.
A classmate quickly tried to smooth things over with a laugh. “Alright, we’ve played enough for tonight. Suisui, just go home with your brother. We’ll meet up again next time.”
With his friends all siding with Gu Yilan, Su Zesui had no choice but to reluctantly follow him out of the bar and into the driver uncle’s car.
He could feel that Gu Yilan was suppressing his anger, but he himself wasn’t in a good mood either. As a result, the atmosphere in the car was icy cold, neither of them saying a word to break the silence.
It wasn’t until they had sat there for a while that Su Zesui, slow on the uptake, finally realized:
——Why on earth was he sulking while leaning against Gu Yilan’s chest?!
——No, no way.
Bracing his arms, Su Zesui tried to push himself upright, but suddenly a burning hot hand gripped the back of his neck, pressing him firmly back into Gu Yilan’s embrace, leaving him unable to move.
Then, at a breath’s distance, came the man’s low, shadowed voice: “Su Zesui, you’re being a little disobedient.”
Gu Yilan’s warm breath brushed against his ear.
Su Zesui’s ears immediately heated up, and his body dared not move. All the way home, he obediently stayed nestled in Gu Yilan’s embrace.
At the doorstep, Gu Yilan supported his limp, weak body and frowned. “How much did you drink?”
“A lot,” Su Zesui admitted.
“Mm. Impressive,” Gu Yilan said flatly, his “praise” completely expressionless.
Su Zesui pouted, refusing to be outdone. “What about you? How much did you drink tonight?”
Gu Yilan paused, slightly taken aback. “I didn’t drink.”
“I don’t believe you,” Su Zesui shot back. “Who goes out in the middle of the night for a blind date and doesn’t drink…?”
One hand still supporting his soft, pliant body, Gu Yilan used the other to enter the code for the front door. “Who told you I was on a blind date?” he asked.
Su Zesui was about to reply when the man pushed open the villa door. His eyes immediately fell on the birthday surprise that had been so carefully arranged: ribbons, balloons, and fresh flowers—everything one could imagine.
In the living room, the gift boxes were even piled into a small mountain, each tied with a beautiful bow. It was obvious that they had all been prepared by a certain someone.
In that moment, Su Zesui sobered up a little, realizing he had misunderstood Gu Yilan. But to immediately kneel and admit his mistake now would be far too embarrassing.
So he pressed a hand to his forehead and said, “I…I feel a little dizzy.”
Gu Yilan looked at the boy, whose acting skills were limited, and said with a hint of helplessness, “Dizzy from the alcohol or from the car?”
Su Zesui pouted.
“Brother, I want some water.”
“Finally admitting I’m your brother?” Gu Yilan placed him on the sofa, then turned to get him some warm water, his voice cool. “We’ll settle this tomorrow when your hangover wears off.”
Tears clouding his eyes, Su Zesui mumbled, “…Tomorrow is my birthday.”
After giving the boy some water, Gu Yilan glanced at his phone. “A few minutes until midnight. Go take a quick warm shower first.”
Su Zesui had no strength to resist. He was lifted into Gu Yilan’s room and collapsed onto the bed like a heap of boneless clay.
Listening to the water running in the bathroom, Su Zesui felt a little thirsty and pressed his soft lips together.
But since Gu Yilan had gone to adjust the water temperature, no one was there to hand him the water. He could only twist on the bed and reach out to grab an unopened bottle of mineral water from the bedside table.
As expected, the unsteady Su Zesui, in his attempts to reach the water, ended up touching everything on the bedside table—except the bottle—and accidentally knocked a book to the floor.
He sat up and bent down to pick it up. But as soon as he grabbed the book, a bookmark slipped out and skittered under the bed.
Dizzy and frustrated, Su Zesui slammed the book back onto the table, stomped barefoot on the floor, and finally managed to retrieve the bookmark.
Glancing at it, he froze. It was a rather suggestive bookmark, in a soft pink color, with a non-mainstream message printed on it:
“You will always be the one my heart longs for, I will love you for a lifetime ❤️”
It was completely unlike anything Gu Yilan would buy for himself.
There was only one possibility—this bookmark had been given to him by someone else, and the man clearly liked it.
Su Zesui’s body went rigid on the spot. The negative emotions he had just pushed away surged back like a tide, even stronger than before, threatening to drown him.
He realized now that tonight, Gu Yilan hadn’t gone on a blind date. He had merely postponed the “death sentence,” not completely resolved the issue.
Until now, Su Zesui had been angry at an imaginary rival.
But now, holding a tangible bookmark in his hand, the once-imagined, untouchable “fiancee” suddenly became real in his life—and he had no choice but to face a single truth—
In this world, there was a woman he had never met—graceful, from an illustrious family—who, in the not-so-distant future, would inherit all the love and care his brother currently gave him.
Footsteps echoed from the bathroom. Su Zesui, unable to collect his emotions in time, hurriedly slid the bookmark back into the book and flopped face-down on the bed, completely limp.
After a moment, Gu Yilan came over and gently patted his shoulder. “All right, let’s go take a shower.”
Su Zesui was in a terrible mood. He stayed silent for a few seconds before muttering gloomily, “I don’t want to shower.”
Gu Yilan caught the unease in the boy’s voice but still said, “You reek of the bar. How are you going to celebrate your birthday later if you don’t wash?”
Su Zesui pouted stubbornly. “Then I won’t celebrate it.”
“What’s the matter?” Gu Yilan frowned. “Sit up and tell your brother.”
“No!” Su Zesui kicked out with his little legs, throwing a tantrum. “I don’t want you to be my brother anymore.”
The little drunkard has a small body but a big temper. In the blink of an eye, he was sulking again, his voice carrying a faint, almost imperceptible whimper—Gu Yilan had no idea what happened in between.
Gu Yilan sat on the edge of the bed, thinking for a moment before saying, “Are you upset because I went on a blind date and forgot your birthday? I didn’t—I’ve always remembered.”
Although forgetting his birthday would normally be upsetting, for some reason, in this context, the word “blind date” stung even more sharply in Su Zesui’s ears, making his heart feel like it was being ripped apart again and again.
After a long pause, seeing that Gu Yilan still had no intention of leaving, Su Zesui finally forced himself to sit up. “Go away.”
Gu Yilan looked at him calmly. “This is my room.”
Su Zesui, flustered and running out of words, stammered, “Th-then you…” His eyes darted around before finally landing on the silver handmade bracelet on Gu Yilan’s wrist.
Sniffling slightly, he continued, “After you get married, you won’t be able to wear the bracelet I gave you. When that time comes, just take it off and throw it away—don’t even tell me.”
Gu Yilan: ?
He could clearly tell that Su Zesui was imitating what he had said that day—but the deeper reason behind it remained a mystery.
Before he could think it through, Su Zesui blurted out, “Brother doesn’t like me anymore—he’s going to marry someone else. I don’t have anyone I like yet, so I’ll just try with Shi Fangbin first!”
Having deliberately provoked him with those words, Su Zesui kicked off his shoes and tried to run outside.
But as a completely helpless drunk, how could he possibly slip past the towering Gu Yilan?
He hadn’t even reached the door when the man snapped the bedroom door shut with a loud “click,” blocking his escape.
Gu Yilan lowered his gaze to him. “You said you don’t like men.”
There was a calm in the man’s tone, like the quiet before a storm. Su Zesui’s back pressed against the door, his body trembling, but he stubbornly lifted his chin and retorted, “Wh-what’s it to you? I didn’t like them before—I can like them now if I want. And anyway, you’re going to…”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence before a shadow fell over him, cutting off the light behind. Then, before he could even protest, his parting lips were captured in a kiss, silencing him completely.
Su Zesui’s eyes shot wide open, his pupils shrinking. His already muddled mind went completely blank with a “buzz,” while his heart pounded uncontrollably.
Gu Yilan’s usually inscrutable black eyes were lowered quietly. One hand pressed against Su Zesui’s chin, his fingertips brushing gently but firmly, carrying an undercurrent of intensity. His tongue traced carefully along Su Zesui’s lips, palate, and tongue…
The heat from the man’s lips and teeth was intense, almost burning. To prevent him from moving, the other hand had already pressed firmly against his waist.
Su Zesui flinched in his lower abdomen, sensing that something was off.
Wrong—everything felt wrong.
But as oxygen drained from his brain, the little rationality he had left vanished. All he knew was that it felt… surprisingly good. He didn’t struggle, even clumsily moving his tongue in response.
Just a few minutes ago, they had been brothers who trusted each other completely.
Now, however, the entire bedroom was thick with a lingering, intimate tension—dominated by Gu Yilan’s forceful lead, while he could only comply. The kiss was tangled with closeness, confusion, and the haze of alcohol, leaving him trapped in its intensity.
The hand gripping his waist was firm, as if trying to fuse him into Gu Yilan’s very being, making it harder to breathe, leaving him entirely at the other’s mercy.
Between gasps for air, Gu Yilan brushed away the tears at the corners of his reddened eyes and soothed him gently. “Suisui… I’m not getting married.”
“Happy birthday.”