Chapter 39 – Lost
A butterfly’s gentle flutter of wings can cause a storm, and the light push of one domino can set off a chain reaction.
Perhaps no one realizes just how heavy the weight of a single sentence can be—
heavy enough to disturb a person’s thoughts.
Confusion is the beginning of sleepless nights,
and of a heart tangled in chaos.
During the days after returning, Lin Yan couldn’t sleep.
He kept turning over in his mind the words President Lu had said.
What did that mean?
Someone of his type?
If one were to truly talk about “his type,” he’d easily be top-tier.
Lin Yan had never been in a relationship before, but when a man that outstanding stood in front of you—
and even said something so ambiguous—it would be hard not to be moved.
Still, Lin Yan restrained himself.
He simply felt that the words had come out too abruptly.
Maybe it was just the other party casually releasing some charm.
Ah… the thoughts of a CEO are really impossible to read.
Lin Yan wracked his brain but couldn’t figure it out.
Besides, there was another major reason he held himself back—the other person seemed even calmer than he was.
In the past few days since returning, Lin Yan went to work as usual yet never ran into Lu Heng.
They had clearly added each other’s contact information, but there was no message from him at all.
The one who spoke so lightly took no responsibility, while the one who took it to heart was restless and uneasy.
What a rogue move.
And yet, for these past days, Lu Heng completely filled Lin Yan’s thoughts.
He didn’t even know what was wrong with him— it had only been such a light, casual sentence.
So how had everything become this messy?
Every time he thought of it, he forced himself not to think—don’t think, don’t think.
But the more he tried to suppress it, the more uncontrollable the thoughts became.
Endless possibilities surfaced in his mind.
What if the other person was simply curious?
His emotions kept stretching and shrinking without control.
He considered countless possibilities, but the one thing he dared not think about was that maybe Lu Heng liked him.
When troubled, seek the cat.
Lin Yan grabbed Meiqiu.
“Meiqiu, why do you think he hasn’t messaged me?”
Meiqiu: “Meow.” Who are you waiting to hear from?
Lin Yan gently swung Meiqiu’s little paws up and down, his thoughts drifting far away.
Over the past few days with Lu Heng, he had discovered that the man wasn’t as rigid as he appeared.
He would deliberately slow his steps to wait for him.
He would stand up for him.
He would open the car door for him.
That’s different, isn’t it?
Lin Yan couldn’t make sense of it no matter how hard he tried.
He put the kitten down, picked up his phone, and checked the screen once every minute.
He stood up, walked around for a while, then came back and stared at his phone again.
Meiqiu watched Lin Yan, little brows knitting together.
Who is he waiting for? Is it the person he just mentioned?
With his emotions unresolved and nowhere else to turn,
Lin Yan decided to talk to someone.
He sent a message in the “Work Slaves Group Chat.”
Lin Yan Yan Yan Yan~: [Has President Lu ever asked you what type you like?]
Wang Hao Is a Handsome Guy: [What? You setting someone up on a date?]
Lin Yan Yan Yan Yan~: [No, it’s just—ah, never mind. Just tell me if he has or not.]
Wang Hao Is a Handsome Guy: [The way you’re asking… could it be that President Lu likes you?]
That message made the corners of Lin Yan’s mouth curl upward — and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t suppress the smile.
But the very next second, there was no need to suppress it anymore — he couldn’t smile at all.
cx Little Angel: [Yeah. Back when the company was developing a dating app for women, they gathered all the female employees for a meeting and asked that question.]
yy Genius Representative: [Really? He asked you too?]
cx Little Angel: [ Yeah. They had to do some background research. Everyone has different preferences. I heard they’re developing a similar app again recently, but this time it’s for same-sex users.]
yy Genius Representative: [How come I never heard about this?]
cx Little Angel: [I was still rotating between departments back then — a brand-new corporate workhorse.]
Seeing that message, the chaos that had plagued his heart for days suddenly calmed.
So that was it.
Then why did he feel… disappointed?
He tossed his phone aside, hugged Meiqiu, and said angrily, “Scoundrel.”
Huh? Me?
What’s going on? Meiqiu didn’t quite understand what was happening.
Was Lin Yan scolding him?
Still… if what happened earlier really wasn’t because Lin Yan was in heat, then maybe Lin Yan was being kind of a scoundrel.
Meiqiu accepted that.
Lin Yan hugged the cat and kissed him for a long while.
Cats are the best — hug one and your whole body relaxes, give one a kiss and you’ll live longer.
No worries at all.
But the very next second, he became downcast again.
His lashes drooped, his lips flattened, and his whole body slumped into gloom once more.
Meiqiu blinked at him.
What’s wrong now? Why is he unhappy again?
Was it something he said that pressured him too much?
…
Lin Yan’s business trip ended, and he returned to the place he once least wanted to come to.
In the past, he might have disliked coming to the office, but now, surprisingly, he felt a little bit of anticipation.
“Morning, Brother Yan.” Chen Xin greeted him energetically.
“Morning.”
How unfair life is — some people are joyful while others suffer.
Looking at Chen Xin’s rosy cheeks, it was obvious he’d been nourished by love.
Meanwhile, Lin Yan had been living entirely in his own imagination — in reality, there was nothing at all.
He couldn’t be the only one feeling miserable.
So he teased, “You’re in such a good mood. In love?”
One sentence — and both of them turned red at the same time.
“What are you two afraid of?” Lin Yan laughed.
“Even Brother Yan noticed. You two aren’t hiding it at all,” Wang Hao added from the side.
“The company doesn’t forbid office romance,” Lin Yan continued.
“In our department, Brother Yan is the only one still single,” Wang Hao teased.
Lin Yan slapped his back. “You’re the one who talks too much.”
Chen Xin and Yang Yang exchanged glances, both their faces reddening even more.
“Ah!” Chen Xin suddenly shouted.
“What nonsense are you saying?!”
With that, Chen Xin rushed out of the office.
Lin Yan turned his head, his eyes following Chen Xin — and then he saw President Lu arriving just in time.
Lu Heng had his hair slicked back, revealing his forehead and making him look especially sharp.
Today he wasn’t wearing his usual suit, but casual clothes instead — a completely different style.
It gave him a different kind of presence.
Their eyes met.
Lin Yan had wanted to smile at him.
But President Lu only gave a brief nod and walked away.
The bit of happiness that had just risen in Lin Yan’s chest instantly withered.
This only confirmed what he already believed — everything had been nothing more than his imagination.
He turned on his computer.
On the screen appeared several large words: Stop fantasizing.
He closed his eyes.
He truly didn’t want to face it.
As if the screen knew exactly what he was thinking, it was deliberately reminding him.
Indeed… how could someone like President Lu be someone he could even dare to covet?
Even if he felt they could talk easily, that they were close — that was only his perception.
Stop fantasizing. Cut the losses in time.
Yet his heart refused to obey.
It had long since become unstoppable.
The price of liking someone was too high.
He didn’t dare to try so easily.
After sitting down, he canceled his leave in the system.
“Everyone’s here so early?”
Gu Han walked in carrying a bag of things.
He placed a bag of bread and milk on an empty desk.
“Here, have something to eat.”
When he reached Lin Yan, he handed him some as well. “You came so early — you didn’t have breakfast, did you?” Gu Han asked considerately.
“I already ate.” Lin Yan pushed the items back. “No need.”
Gu Han looked awkwardly at the rejected food, then placed it back in front of him again.
“You can eat it tomorrow too. It’s not near the expiration date.”
Lin Yan sighed and didn’t push it away again.
He didn’t want to argue with this person first thing in the morning.
If possible, he preferred no contact at all.
“Did you go to Liao City?” Gu Han asked.
“Mm.”
“Did you go eat at that noodle place?” Gu Han continued.
“Mm.”
Lin Yan kept his eyes on the computer, replying perfunctorily.
Anyone could tell how annoyed he was with Gu Han, yet no one pointed it out.
His thoughts drifted back to the past.
The person sitting beside him had always been Gu Han — only back then, Lin Yan was the one who talked more, while the other simply listened.
Now it was completely reversed.
But Lin Yan no longer expected anything — nor did he want to.
Gu Han watched Lin Yan working seriously.
The loose strands of hair in front of his forehead hung down messily, and looking further, even his collar was still flipped up.
He was just as careless as he had been in school — never paying attention to such small details.
Exactly the same as before.
Seeing that he was still the same felt… reassuring.
He hadn’t changed.
So, just like in the past, Gu Han raised his hand, about to straighten Lin Yan’s collar for him.
But before his hand could even touch the fabric, the other person stood up as if by reflex.
“Can you not do that?” Lin Yan said calmly.
The man in front of him froze for a moment, then smiled awkwardly. “Okay.”
The sudden movement scraped the chair loudly, drawing everyone’s attention.
Seeing all the eyes in the office turn toward them, Gu Han quickly laughed and explained, “It’s nothing — we’re just messing around.”
It was always like this.
This person always smiled without warmth, solving everything with a single sentence, making it seem as if his behavior had never been inappropriate.
Lin Yan then sat back down and straightened his own collar.
The person beside him suddenly asked, “Have you still not moved on?”
With a cold snort, Lin Yan ignored him and continued focusing on his work.
That project — President Lu had entrusted it to him, and it had to be finished today.
He had no time to deal with this person.
Disgusting.
Truly disgusting.
“Let me do something to make it up to you, okay?”
“Fine. Stay away from me.”
Hearing that, the man froze slightly.
His eyes dimmed, and he fell silent, having nothing more to say.
Lin Yan spun his ergonomic chair around, pulling himself far away from him.
A message arrived in the [Worked-slaves] Group Chat.
Wang Hao Is a Handsome Guy: [Brother Yan, are you two really classmates?]
Lin Yan Yan Yan Yan~: [Yes. Same class from high school all the way through grad school.]
yy Genius Representative: [Doesn’t look like you two are that close.]
Lin Yan Yan Yan Yan~: [He’s just like that. Gets familiar with everyone.]
…
“Are you saying Zhao Ming deliberately held it back and refused to approve it?” Lu Heng asked.
When Lin Yan had mentioned that it took him two years to become a full employee, Lu Heng had already found it strange.
Why would it take that long?
The workload during the probation period was heavy, the salary low — how could someone endure that for so long?
He must not have had anyone to rely on.
“What exactly happened?” Lu Heng asked.
“Among that group, only Lin Yan had his conversion delayed,” He Lingchen explained.
“The details aren’t clear. Supposedly the submitted project didn’t meet the requirements.”
Didn’t meet the requirements?
From their recent interactions — whether project work or coding — Lin Yan handled everything smoothly, even better than many experienced employees.
How could it have failed?
“Do you still have the project files from back then?”
The secretary was meticulous about every detail; he had already considered this.
He took out a USB drive, copied the files over, and projected them onto the large screen.
Lu Heng raised his eyes.
As he looked at the document, his brows knitted tightly together.
Every line of data and text revealed a lack of professionalism.
After scanning it for only a few moments, he already knew — this document was not written by Lin Yan.
If Lin Yan had been converted to full-time status a year ago, the person in charge back then would have been his father.
But matters like this never required the CEO’s personal involvement.
They usually went through Human Resources, then were handled by a few department directors.
“What about the others from the same batch?” he asked.
Hearing this, the secretary pulled up several more documents.
None of them were Lin Yan’s, and the work done by those who were approved was actually worse than that of those who had been eliminated.
Lu Heng suddenly recalled — back then, Zhao Ming had not yet been the technical director.
The person who had held that position at the time had already gone abroad.
After thinking for a moment, he remembered that the two of them had been on fairly good terms.
Before Lu Heng came to headquarters, he had carefully reviewed the files of everyone in important positions.
Zhao Ming had become department director only because he had once proposed a major project — an idea that earned the company a great deal of money.
Yet during this period, based on Lu Heng’s understanding, Zhao Ming had not put forward a single useful project.
The company’s system was layered and interconnected; many matters never reached the CEO’s desk —
they were handled by people further down the line.
It was only after Lu Heng took over that he demanded everything follow formal procedures, which was how he managed to stabilize his position.
Who knew how many parasites were still lurking inside the company.
After reviewing several more files — none of them Lin Yan’s — he thought for a moment and said, “Pull up the document Zhao Ming submitted back then.”
“Understood.”
He Lingchen had not expected the CEO to suddenly request that file, so he went back to retrieve it.
Once again, the spacious office was left with only Lu Heng.
Ever since returning from the business trip, he hadn’t had a chance to spend time alone with Lin Yan.
Something about Lin Yan felt different — he had become distant, and no longer slept hugging him.
Had his words that day frightened him?
But Lin Yan didn’t even know he was Meiqiu. It seemed that this approach would only scare him away.
Better to stop. No rush.
Take it slowly.
Still, there was a thorn in Lu Heng’s heart.
He didn’t know how to tell Lin Yan that he was Meiqiu — would that scare him?
Although he could control when he turned into a cat, he wasn’t sure whether Lin Yan could accept it.
For uncertain matters, Lu Heng chose to maintain the status quo — at least that way, he wouldn’t lose him.
He glanced toward the doorway of the side room and noticed something glittering on the floor.
The reflected light caught his eye.
He crouched down and picked it up — a yellow crystal.
The more he looked at it, the more familiar it felt.
Wasn’t this something his mother owned?
The only person who could enter this office without his permission was his mother.
So she had been inside?
But she hadn’t said anything… perhaps she hadn’t noticed.
He Lingchen knocked and came in, setting the document in front of him.
As Lu Heng looked at the familiar structure of the code, he felt a quiet strength between the lines.
He already knew who had written it.
They dealt with these files constantly — data, code — and everyone had their own habits: formatting, arrangement, calling order.
Anyone experienced could recognize it at a glance.
Thinking of something, he said, “Scroll to the last page.”
Comparing it with what Lin Yan had explained to him before, everything matched.
This document — was indeed written by Lin Yan.